How Stripping Taught Me To Be A Better Lover

I think that sexuality starts in the mind. I’ve worn many hats as an erotic professional – dancer, escort, and model, and the common theme has always been that of inspiring the erotic imagination of my admirers. The sex act itself hasn’t changed since the dawn of the human species, but the stories we tell ourselves about sex are always evolving. My goal, whether I’m dancing for a group of women, or crafting a dream date for a gentleman, is to tell joyful, life-affirming stories about sex.

Why Stripping Turns Men On

Men often tell me that they fantasize about sensual, sexually-confident women who enjoy eroticism. So, I think it’s more the attitude of the woman performing the striptease, rather than just the stripping itself that arouses men. That’s why, when I teach erotic dance classes to women, I tell them to focus on having fun, connecting with their inner fabulous, and eye-fucking their audience, rather than worrying about the technical aspects of the dance.

Why I Love It

I’m naturally shy, introverted, and a bit of a nerd. Dancing has helped me to come out of my shell, and step into the sexual superheroine version of myself. You can’t hide when you’re on stage, nor should you. And watching this transformation in my dance students just reinforces my belief that women feeling good in their own bodies is incredibly empowering.

How Stripping Empowers

Again, it’s not the stripping itself that I find empowering, but the gall it takes to expose oneself in such a vulnerable and openly erotic way. When I worked in a strip club, I loved dancing, but I found the working conditions to be exploitative and the narrowly-defined beauty standards were demeaning. I’m excited by neo-burlesque, the proliferation of pole dancing studios, camming, and other opportunities that have emerged in the last ten years that have allowed a greater diversity of people to experience striptease for themselves. I’ve seen trans-women, men, and women of all shapes and ages reclaim their bodies through this medium. I think everyone should try it, at least once!

Incorporating Stripping Into Sex

You can strip for yourself just because it makes you feel sexy.

If you’re stripping for a partner, then striptease is a wonderful form of foreplay. Get rid of any distractions: turn off the phones, send the kids to a babysitter, and get ready to create a private fantasy that’s just for you and your partner. I like to set the mood with music, ambient lighting and a comfortable space like a bedroom or living room. Wear an outfit that makes you feel fabulous, and is relatively easy to take off (it helps to practice beforehand). Move very slowly and sensually, touching yourself suggestively, smiling, and maintaining eye contact with your partner as much as possible. Remember, what’s most important is to have fun, and feel good in your own skin. If you take your time, and you’re enjoying yourself, then when you’re finally naked, both you and your partner will be so aroused you won’t be able to keep your hands and mouths off of each other!

If you are lucky enough to be at the receiving end of sexy striptease, please be respectful and supportive of your partner – stripping is a vulnerable act!

Stripping Tips For Beginners

There are so many fun elements one can introduce into a striptease to change the flavor of the experience!

Be playful and experiment with different types of clothing – a shirt with lots of buttons offers different possibilities than a robe with a long sash. A little BDSM can be very exciting: I seat my partner in a chair, and gently tie his wrists with a scarf so that he can see me seductively peeling off my clothing, but cannot touch me. It’s tantalizing torture for the person watching! I’ve also tucked a riding crop into my garter belt, and told her that she’s welcome to try and touch, but will receive a punishment if she touches too much. Sometimes I blindfold my partner right before I’m fully nude, then tease him by removing my bra and panties when he can’t see, and brushing my breasts or lips against his face or bound hands.

Alternatively, I may allow my partner’s hands to wander over my body as I indulgently undress myself.

Fruits, candies, and whipped cream can be incorporated into your striptease. Once I’m naked, I like to drip warm, melted chocolate all over my body so my partner can lick it off.

Other ideas: run a bubble bath and take turns stripping for each other before jumping in the tub; ask your partner to rub massage oil on each part of your body as you remove more and more clothing; or play a sexy game of strip poker where each item of clothing must be removed by the other partner’s teeth.

There are no rules when it comes to stripping – you can, and should do whatever excites you. In my experience, the biggest turn-on to my partner or audience is when I feel sexy and excited. So, focus on having fun and the rest will follow.

Good Striptease Songs To Use

I prefer slow, sexy songs or naughty hip hop tracks (I love Nicki Minaj and the Weeknd), but obviously you should dance to whatever you love! Here are some suggestions to get you started:

Booty – Blac Youngsta

Ballerina – The Weeknd

Good For You – Selena Gomez

I Put a Spell On You – Nina Simone

Closer – Nine Inch Nails

Night Crawler – AC/DC

Pretty Priya – Pretty Priya is an exotic dancer, model, and elite companion based on the West Coast of Canada. She teaches group and private dance classes, and creates personalized erotic experiences for both individuals and adventurous couples.

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Images courtesy of Pretty Priya

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