Sex! Sex is everything and nothing, depending on who you ask. In my hippie, artsy little mind it’s a bedsheet bound tango of energies and emotion. Explaining sex is like explaining why we ever get hungry, or why the rain falls. It’s just natural and it keeps us going. Add societal elements and now sex is a marketing tactic, a weapon in emotional warfare, a means of seeking validation and a whole host of other (possibly unhealthy) motivations. My thoughts on sex in a nutshell are it’s the ultimate way to know somebody, and when you’re really into someone you want to know who they are in every way. My fantasies are more towards the carnal, submissive side. As long as everyone is safe, comfortable and wants to be there then I say do whatever the heck you want to do, and have fun exploring and challenging yourself.
Importance Of A Good Kiss
I have some rather strong opinions on kissing. It’s a lost art, truly. So many people think the sloppier the better, which couldn’t be further from the truth (in my opinion). A good kisser can get me both relaxed and revved up at the same time. It’s the first plane of being intimate with someone, a time to go in purposely but listening. Someone who is not attentive to body language and barges on kissing how they wish is bound to put their partner off. With all things in sex it’s about listening and adapting, but especially kissing as it sets the tone for everything to follow.
Know When And How To Kiss
Different situations or stages of sex certainly call for different kisses. The climax is called a climax for a reason: it’s the highest point of action. Everything should be smoothly yet steadily building up to that moment. Kisses at the outset, when you are coming together for the first time, should be more experimental than when you’re lying in bed, frantic about getting your joy on!
Obviously it’s impossible to give an instructional manual for how to kiss in all scenarios, but generally speaking it makes sense to ramp up the passion as sex goes on and you’re more comfortable with your partner (assuming you’ve never had sex before) and is getting hotter. Then again, maybe this is your lover or your long time favourite provider/regular, and you just want to accost them as soon as they walk through the door and start sucking face! That’s hot too. The kissing really informs what kind of sex you’ll have, and vice versa, so just keep that in mind and take your partner’s reactions into consideration.
Tongue Play
YES there can be too much tongue. In fact, it’s not uncommon that people latch onto the idea that more is more when it comes to tongue. I’m not into that. If the tongue isn’t used judiciously it’s just a gross-out to me. It’s like seasoning. A note here and there makes the dish come to life, but the whole meal can’t just be seasoning. Similarly, sparring use of tongue can be an incredible turn on and immediately heightens excitement, but you can’t just put your tongue in someone’s face and call it a day.
As for things a guy should never do…oh, this is a tricky one, but I’m going to say don’t kiss too fast. Slow and sensual wins the race and helps both people relax. Kissing too fast gives the impression that one is anxious. The obvious tip of “don’t try and stick your tongue down her throat”, shouldn’t even bare mentioning. Sadly, however, it does.
Check Your Breath
Again, to be obvious, garlic or onion breath is not appreciated. Likewise, cigarette breath makes me feel like I’m kissing an ashtray. Poor oral hygiene such as having very stained teeth, any diseases of the mouth and teeth is of course off-putting as well. It’s basic advice but it’s all you need-be clean and neutral smelling.
Any strong odours emitting from the mouth are unlikely to make me want to put my own mouth on it. Something that I’ve encountered is that some of my clients will chew gum before an appointment to ensure that their breath is minty fresh, but they forget to spit their gum out before leaning in for a kiss! So many things to think about, they overlook that crucial detail.
Listen
The fundamental golden rule of having sex is listening to your partner, and this definitely needs to apply to kissing. Is your partner reciprocating everything you’re doing with equal fervour, or is it overwhelming them? If it’s the latter, adjust to a slower, gentler style. Try not to be a robot. Let your hands explore as you kiss, get a lay of the land. It’s a huge turn on when men give me taste of how strong they are by letting their hands grip and squeeze me all over.
Don’t be too light with your pressure. Sometimes men think that they lighter they kiss the better it will feel, but it simply tickles. How they do it in the movies is a pretty good guide for how to go about it. But in all seriousness, less is more is generally a good rule of kissing, when in doubt. But when not in doubt, go wild and crazy and leave it all on the bedroom floor!
My name is Serena Paxton, and I live in Toronto, Canada. I’m tall and slender, twenty-four, blonde, with an equally sexy mind and body. As much of a country girl as I am a city girl, I enjoy going out or simply slowing things right on down and enjoying the moment. Follow and contact me on my website (www.serenapaxton.com), Twitter (@SerenaPaxton) and http://ca.eros.com/ontario/toronto/files/413066.htm
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