Tag: Sensual Domination

What To Know About Sensual Domination & Sensation Play

My formal training background is in somatic sex therapy, Tantra and sexual healing. I evolved my sessions to go deeper and explore the “shadow” side of sexuality. I added elements of bondage, sensory deprivation, sensation play, and the psychological aspect of kink, fantasy and role playing to my sessions. When people think of a dominatrix archetype, they think ‘mean, cold, cruel’.

I am naturally sensual, sexy and playful but I always remain in a dominant role. Many of my students don’t identify as submissive or kinky, so part of my work is getting into their head to see what makes them tick. My work is part psychotherapist and personal trainer. Erotic embodiment starts in the mind. Being pushed out of our comfort zones is where we grow.

What Does Sensual Domination Involve?

Many believe “sensual domination” is a focus on pleasure instead of pain. But what if bringing someone to the edge of their pain and pushing their boundaries to submit and let go makes it pleasurable? What if being “punished” meant you had to give up control and give it to another, but at the same time knowing they would not break your boundaries and really hurt you?

What I personally enjoy about sensual domination is pushing my students boundaries (not crossing them), giving them pain, pleasure and a thousand other feelings and sensations they’ve never experienced. After 90 minutes strapped down to my table, deprived of their senses and taking them on a sensation roller coaster, most of my students are speechless when the session is over.

I think many experience a spiritual awakening they can’t get from talk therapy or even sex with a partner. I love being able to give them something they’ve never experienced, and it often opens the doors to new sexual explorations.

Why Subs Enjoy This Kink

A true submissive is someone who gets pleasure from my pleasure, so I tell them what I like and they naturally enjoy giving. I love subs that love servitude! My favorite submissive students are foot and pantyhose fetishists. I love having my feet massaged and legs stroked over my stockings. I also love role playing with ‘sissy boys’ and seeing them dressed as slutty girls.

If it’s something that turns me on, it turns them on, so it’s not really humiliation or punishment.

Incorporating Sensation Play Into Sensual Domination

Before I blindfold and place my student in bondage, we talk about what they want to learn, role play or simply let go of their thoughts completely. We go over boundaries, safe words, mutual trust, etc. We do a submission ritual and I ask them to let go of control, trust me to guide them on a journey and bring them home safely. I use all types of sensation, not just floggers and paddles. When we deprive the senses (eyes and ears), other senses get heightened.

I often use essential oil scents in the air. The touch of my nails lightly caressing their backside, then it might turn into a spank. I use metal and glass objects (cold sensations), hot stones, intense vibrators, sex toys, feathers, fur, leather, silk. Even forks and toothbrushes might be used. I think of my students’ body as my canvas, and I get to use my brushes to creatively express myself while responding to their reactions. I also enjoy adding prostate massage, dildos and strap on play (if agreed upon before the session.) Endorphins are heightened, and they begin to relax and accept they’re helpless and vulnerable.

I think most men have the ‘happy ending’ in the front of their minds when we start the session as that’s what they associate being naked on a table with an attractive woman touching them, but that’s not anything I promise. The session is about pleasing ME, I have to remind them. The more they push for that, the more fun it is to tease and make them beg. Every session is unique, and I might free up one arm to let a student masturbate if they beg and plead, but ejaculation is never the goal of a session.

If This Is Your First Sensual Domination Session…

If hiring a professional dominant, don’t expect a hand job. If that’s your goal, see an erotic massage provider. Remember, you are there to serve the Goddess first. Find professionals who’ve been around a few years and have a reputation. Look at their social media accounts, read their website and blog posts. You don’t want to be tied up or mind-fucked by someone you can’t trust. Before emailing them, read their website well. I can’t stress this enough!

If you ask questions that are clearly on her website, you’ve already shown her that you’re going to be a difficult student. Write to her as if you were trying to land your dream job position. Would you email your potential new boss, ‘U avail now for work? How much u pay?” If she has a gift wish list or a way to tip her online, do it! It shows us you’re serious and you really like to serve. Little things can go a long away in making a good or bad first impression.

Always shower right before the session and really clean between those butt cheeks and balls with a soap and a wash cloth! If you’re coming straight from work, ask her before the session if you can use her shower (but note that time may come out of your session time.)

If you want to any kind of ass play or prostate massage (and she offers it), I recommend a few hours before your session, cleaning out the lower part of your anal cavity with a few squirts of warm water. You can lie on the floor and use an old-school hot water bottle with a douche attachment (always use lukewarm water); or a powerful hand-held shower massager for a few seconds; or just a plastic water bottle (get into a doggie style position with your ass way up in the tub while you gently squeeze a few ounces of warm water, then let the water flow out). This is for just cleaning the lower colon.

If you want to take a really big toy or get pegged (strap-on play), you’ll want to do a full colon clean out, which I recommend doing the night before. Even with cleaning, “shit happens” sometimes. I can’t speak for all Dommes, but I don’t shame my students if it happens (but I also don’t offer scat play or diaper fetish play, so if that’s your thing, you should let the Domme know beforehand.)

You should expect in any kink or BDSM play, the RACK tenets: Risk Accepted Consensual Kink. Dommes and subs are in charge of speaking their own boundaries, and at any point during playtime the Domme or sub may stop or alter what they are doing by stating their safe word. After the session is over, doing ‘aftercare’- Checking in with each other, making sure their sub is in a good head space and feeling ok physically (I always remind them to drink lots of water and have a snack if feeling light-headed.)

A ‘sub drop’ sadness sometimes happens after dropping from ‘cloud 9’ euphoria and coming back down to earth. I give some time at the end of the session if they need to talk or process their feelings. Above all, expect to be pleasantly surprised and you’ll have an amazing session!

Mistress Marlena Maven – A sensual dominatrix, certified somatic sex educator and couples’ kink coach. She is available for online sessions worldwide as well as her studio in Portland, Oregon.

Follow Mistress Marlena on

Website: TheSensualDominatrix.com

Twitter: Twitter.com/Naked_Therapist

Images From Mistress Marlena

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May 23, 2020
How To Enjoy The GFE with Sensual Domination

Sex…It’s a natural thing …we all do it. It feels good and it should be nothing to be ashamed of. We are brought up with the belief of no sex, or best to not have sex before marriage or to be with one partner. But we are not all mentally capable or even wanting of this.

And the taboo of sex work being naughty and dirty is also just another thing being influenced by society but how can something so natural and fun be thought in this way?

We all have sex and we are all also a type of animal, so why should we be embarrassed of this natural urge and fun that we are born to do. The idea of chemical reactions creating a different feeling that is unique and enjoyable to us all individually which I find so beautiful and quietly addictive.

Sex is a drug to me, a healthy fun drug I love to embrace and share and bring out more from others. Spreading sexual energy and helping each other increase it because it’s fun, beautiful and part of us all.

How Popular Is The GFE?

The GFE is very popular, I would say the most popular and sought after encounter.

Clients really enjoy this type of meeting, as it feels “normal” to them, they can relax, chat and wind down. It is almost like having a real girlfriend, affectionate, fun, entertaining, but no headache or arguments haha for an hour, dinner date or overnight, without any commitments or expectations. And next time when we meet again, we can pick up exactly where we left from, very easy and pleasurable.

Advantages Of Adding Kink To The GFE

It is adventurous and healthy to see what is out there, to broaden your mind and experience new avenues. People get bored easily, so why not try something new? There are maybe only apples, pears and grapes in your garden and that is what you know. However if you step out you could see bananas, peaches, passion fruits, lychees, guava, watermelon and many more, so why not take a little taste, of some, or all of them to see whether they are to your taste, and you might be surprised.

Sensual Domination For First Timers

It is an enjoyable, painless, sensual and intriguing way to add something new and “ease” you into kink and allow you to decide whether it is something of your interest or not. Many people avoid anything Dom/BDSM related as they associate it with something scary, painful and dark, with loads of leather, whips, chains and ropes, but it does not always have to be like that (unless you are into it). For example, I use hand cuffs and leg cuffs which are soft and fluffy on the inside to make it fit comfortably. Sensual domination does not require a lot of space (no dungeon needed), a hotel or bedroom works just fine.

Last Piece Of Advice…

Just have an open mind and remember that things are always consensual.

Anya Amasova – Your very own bond girl…I am Russian GFE and BDSM escort based in London, a parts from my adventures with gentlemen I enjoy fitness, art, music, wine and creating perfumes. I came to London to discover the big city and fell in love.

Follow Anya Amasova on

Website: www.anya-londonescort.uk

Twitter: @anya_amasova_

Email: anya_amasova@protonmail.com

Love working in my favourite London city, although I am available internationally.

Article images courtesy of Anya Amasova, featured image from Shutterstock

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December 17, 2018
Introducing Kink Into Sex

I primarily see sex as something playful and fun! I’m kind of obsessed with it actually, which is part of the reason I do it for work. It’s fascinating and vulnerable and it reveals a great deal; not only how we feel about each other but also how we feel about ourselves, the kinds of experiences we’ve had in the past, our preferences, our “go-to’s etc. It also has a tendency to get intense and complicated, but I prefer it as it’s awkward and adorable recreational phase.

I was lucky enough to have my earliest sexual experiences be queer, therefore there was no real precedent for what sex was supposed to look like. Queer sex has allowed me to be open-minded in terms of how sex is defined, what my “role” is, and by hooking up with people with diverse gender and sexual identities, I have been able to try new things and find out what turns me on. This has been valuable, and allows me to see sex as an intimate interaction with many possibilities, rather than a predictable script I’m supposed to follow.

I empathize a lot with people, especially straight women, who are brought up to see themselves as sexual objects rather than sexual subjects. We’ve come a long way in terms of sexual empowerment but it’s important to recognize that men and women are often not on an equal playing field when it comes to things like prioritizing their desire, having multiple sexual partners, and dealing with issues such as sexual health, safety and the possibility of pregnancy. That being said, I find it incredible when women find ways to take power into their own hands, find partners who respect them, and get to engage in super hot, fun sex. That’s what I’m trying to do.

How Adding Kink Spices Sex Up

Kink is any kind of “unconventional sexual practice or preference”, outside the realm of conventional or “vanilla” sex. Some people define their entire sex lives by their kinks, so much that it becomes a lifestyle choice and subculture. Others merely experiment and are lucky enough to find some fun weird shit they enjoy!

Personally I see incorporating kink into sex as a form of play. It changes things up, it pushes you outside your comfort zone, it allows you to think about pleasure differently and taps into parts of yourself you aren’t necessarily familiar with. For example, maybe you’re really into fluids, or feet, or fucking in some private bushes of a public park. These things may sound silly, but trust me, sometimes all it takes is the right time and the partner to really bring a certain kink to the surface. And if you’re curious, why not try it? Sex should be fun right?

Playing with power is a popular form of kink, and one that I engage in often. Taking total control or giving it up entirely during sex may feel counter-intuitive at first, but again, find the right person and you may discover you love to be teased, tortured or tied up. Or alternatively, that you have a penchant for making your partner sweat and breathlessly speculate about what’s coming next.

Try Incorporating Sensual Domination

Sensual domination is a spin-off from the classical Dom/sub relationship which focuses more on the sensual side of power and prioritizes pleasure. People often think of BDSM as “whips and chains”, a latex-clad figure using a burning-hot cattle-prod to poke at a restrained victim. It doesn’t always have to be like that! (Though personally I’m not opposed, just say the word).

Sensual domination does not seek to humiliate, torture, and degrade the sub, but rather positions the sub as a precious pet or plaything. It pushes buttons without pushing boundaries. There’s many ways to do sensual domination, I personally get a lot of requests by clients to perform a dominant role, I’m not sure if it’s because of my height, my look, or whether it’s obvious that I have a bit of a dominant streak. I’ve found a way to make sensual domination my own, which is a blend of the vanilla and classical BDSM services I also offer. In this role I position myself as princess, and try to encourage a sort of reverence in my subs, by handling them firmly, restricting their sight while playing with their hair and running my fingers down their necks, pressing myself against them and forcing them to explore and to worship every part of of my body, from my toes up to my neck.

It’s drawn out, it’s indulgent, it’s sexy. It’s 100% all about chemistry. I find a lot of my subs want to experience the feeling of gender role reversal, and being guided into sexual activity as an object of pleasure, without having to overthink or perform. I’ve come to really enjoy bossing someone around when they are so turned on they can’t think clearly, and are thus very determined to please me. Full disclosure that I’m a bit of a selfish Domme, but in any case it keeps them coming back, and it’s a lot of fun.

Ways To Introduce Kink For The Uninitiated

Start small. Remember that “kink” is an umbrella term which encompasses innumerable sexual practices, so it’s not like you can mess up or do it wrong. You could start by fantasizing and asking yourself honestly whether there’s anything, any kind of practice or porn that peaks your interest.

Are you interested in playing with power? Try to imagine yourself in both dominant and submissive roles. You don’t need to go out and purchase a latex catsuit and a cat-o-nine-tails to try and impress anyone. So much of kink is psychological anyway!

Communicate your interest in kink to your partner, and see if you can find some compatibility. Get creative and look for compromises. Your partner may not be ready to enact a consensual kidnapping and keep you restrained and isolated for hours; however they could potentially be down to engage in a bit of dirty talk. Take your time, don’t rush things. Watch porn for research, but don’t compare yourself to it. Find ways to do kink your own way, and don’t take yourself too seriously! Focus on chemistry.

Follow These Do’s & Don’ts

Here are just a few…

Do give things a try, even if it feels silly/seems unusual!

Assuming you’ve found someone you feel safe with, why not put yourself out of your comfort zone and try something new? You might be surprised at the things you enjoy, especially if it’s something your partner has expressed interest in.

Do communicate extensively.

Try and be honest about your likes and dislikes, what you’re interested in, not interested in, and what you’d like to try. Try not to succumb to the pressure to make yourself edgier or more experienced than you are. You don’t need to whip out a list of scandalous fetishes in order to be desirable or interesting. You are desirable and interesting regardless of what your preferences are! Try to focus instead on discovering compatibility and giving yourself space to experience things in the right time. Check in with your partner after and see how you both felt.

Don’t automatically assume that your partner shares your tastes for kink.

For example, I actually have quite a few male friends who have confessed to me that they feel uncomfortable when their female partners have asked them to be dominant, and that choking and slapping their feminine partners just doesn’t sit well with them. Just because your partner is male doesn’t mean he wants to be aggressive! Having an honest conversation about your fantasies and preferences is a good way to start. Compromise is always possible, but make sure you give your partner space to let you know if and when a certain practice makes them feel uncomfortable.

Don’t forget to be safe!

BDSM enthusiasts: If you’re using equipment, make sure you know how to use it properly. If your partner wants to be choked or treated roughly, make sure you research how to do it in the correct way and have a safe-word. Practice consent always. Don’t forget to check-in with your partner regularly. Engage in some after-care!

Zoe Geovanna – Zoe Geovanna is an independent escort and fetish provider based in Berlin. She’s performed for Erika Lust, had a brief and glamorous career as a dancer, and is generally willing to try anything once. She’s toured nine different countries in the last couple of years and doesn’t see herself stopping anytime soon. Her interests include nostalgic stripper-jams, covering her entire body in coconut oil, and sexworkers rights. She hopes to someday purchase a Mediterranean villa where workers around the world can come, kick back, and make jokes around the campfire whilst sipping Prosecco.

Follow Zoe on

Website: http://zzzoeangel.wixsite.com/zzzoegeovanna

Twitter: https://twitter.com/zoegeovanna

Upcoming tours:

Buenos Aires April 5-18

Barcelona: April 23-29

London: spring 2018

Frankfurt: spring 2018

Images courtesy of Zoe Geovanna

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April 24, 2018
Power Play In Sex

Funnily enough, my interest in the concept of fetishes grew out of my religious upbringing. Religion and sex have an uneasy relationship with one another, but I’ve learned that humans are intrinsically attracted to the taboo. We live in a society that governs all our social behaviour – how we can act with whom. Having an experience or a secret enjoyment that flies in the face of that can be extraordinarily enticing. When we are denied something, it holds a special power. This is basic human psychology, and when applied to our sexual desires, we enter the world of kink and fetishes.

While you might occupy the world of vanilla, there’s something in every person, some unexplored corner of the mind, attracted to the possibility of the alternative. What might that be? The possibilities are endless. Your individual experiences in life, particularly in your formative years, might answer that for you. We enter the world of sensations before we enter the world of words, which is why tactile fetishes can hold such a strong arousal. Or maybe it’s a certain kind of scenario, a certain kind of person in a position of power or who is prohibited for some other reason.

While I have my own personal fetishes, one of the most satisfying experiences in my life is consensually exploring the kinks and fetishes of others. I love doing what I call ‘de-shaming’ – sharing my thoughts around why their particular kink is not a source of shame and providing a non-judgemental space for them to enact a particular fantasy and experience sexual satisfaction.

What Is Sensual Domination?

My definition of sensual domination is a sexual or sensual exchange where one person is in control of the experiences, sensations and satisfaction of the other – and dictates when those sensations are withheld and when they are given. This may involve playing with pleasure and discomfort or pain. It may be purely psychological, or it may be extremely physical. Usually it’s both.

Being six foot tall, I had been told on the odd occasion that I’d make an excellent dominatrix. But discovering my niche in sensual domination came through having many vanilla ‘girlfriend experiences’ and realizing that some clients had more complex sexual desires that required something slightly different – like me taking control, teasing or taunting them to the extreme, or performing a fantasy scene. I started realizing then that sex is far more mental than it is physical.

The first time I was asked to dominate someone I was a little nervous but willing to give it a go. When I saw the effect on my client and how satisfying the experience was for them, I wanted to explore more. My curiosity piqued, I shadowed a couple of Mistresses who performed total domination, humiliation and submission of a slave or sub. While I admired their skills in that dynamic, I soon realized that the more extreme forms of domination – especially inflicting pain – weren’t really for me. Since then, I’ve found so many people out there who aren’t ready or don’t want to be completely dominated and humiliated, but who crave some power imbalance or some feeling of relinquishing sexual control. Once I started exploring that, there was no going back!

What I Love About Sensual Domination

The subtleties, the nuances, playing with different sensations, performing different roles, leaving the regular world and entering a fantasy space where nothing else exists, watching the physical and psychological responses that are elicited from people, having another person under my thrall, keeping somebody on the edge and then watching them experience satisfaction. De-stigmatising people’s kinks and having them leave feeling that they’ve been able to explore another side of themselves … should I go on?

Why Men Love Women Being In-Charge

At some point in our upbringing, we all had our first sneak peek at a magazine or film where a guy was fucking a girl, and he was the one doing the fucking. He was in charge. We still live in a world where men are expected to ask women out, to be the pursuer and to take the lead in the bedroom. Even if taking charge in sex doesn’t get them off, the concept of a man being submissive throws their ‘manliness’ into question. Despite advances toward gender equality, boys are still socialized from before they can remember to be ‘masculine’. To be a man is still to be self-sufficient, strong, to lead situations. In business and politics, men still overwhelmingly occupy most of the seats of power and a marker of ‘being a man’ in most cultures is still around what you can ‘do’ – whether that be lift weights or make a lot of money, or get the girls.

In my experience, the pressure to perform this version of masculinity gets old sooner or later. The concept of a strong woman taking charge, taking the pressure off the usual expectation to be the initiator can be very appealing. The concept of being the receiver of attention rather than the giver, the idea of being aggressively seduced or sexually aroused by a woman, of being told what to do in the bedroom by a female rather than being expected to take charge can be an enormous dynamic shift that can be incredibly satisfying for men who have lived their lives in charge. Sometimes, this may take a more maternal role, where somebody simply wants to be held and receive affection and stimulation without having to give it back, which is something I love to offer.

Power Play Activities I’m Into

There is almost always an element of tease and denial in my sessions and withholding / giving of affection. If someone has a foot fetish, that dynamic will happen with feet, or if someone has a boss / employee fantasy, or a mother / child, it occurs in that fantasy space. I enjoy using stockings and silk and having more submissive clients, often creating a dynamic of affection and admonishment, arousal and denial – depending on the comfort level of who I’m playing with. I enjoy body worship sessions where clients can fetishise and enjoy particular parts of me and be held at a distance until I’m ready to satisfy them, or playing game in which I test their obedience before I reward them. For lots of men, one really sexually satisfying experience that is stigmatised is prostate play, anal play or anal sex with a strap on. I absolutely love giving someone their first prostate orgasm and blowing them away!

Mia Monday – I’m Mia, a private fetish escort and companion based in Melbourne. My niche lies in the sensory world found between affection and domination. I enjoy walking the line between tease, sensuality and taking erotic control. Intuitive and instinctual, I love discovering what satisfies you.

It might be something you didn’t expect.

Follow Mia Monday on:

Website: www.miamonday.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/mia_monday

Scarlet Blue: https://scarletblue.com.au/escort/mia-monday

Images courtesy of Mia

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December 1, 2017
The Goddess Asia on Sensual Domination

The alternative lifestyle that expresses kink and fetish interests is BDSM. BDSM can be a fun, exciting, experimental lifestyle but it is not for everyone. Some prefer the same vanilla, routine, normal, standard lifestyle.

Typical Characteristics of Sensual Domination

Restraints are often used, blindfolds, oils, and ropes. Sensual Domination for me, mainly involves a lot of sensory overload, sensory deprivation and sensual teasing.

There are many different types of domination. Sensual, erotic, mental, emotional, financial, etc. You probably are used to the “Fifty Shades of Grey” type of BDSM..LOL.

Organising A Sensual Domination Session

It varies depending on the Submissive’s interests and hard limits. I like Electro Play, cold and hot toys, sensory toys, oils, etc.

Session of Sensual Domination

There’s no typical session that I’ve had so far. All of my sensual sessions have been very different. I can say that the Submissive in a Sensual session gets very excited, aroused without any sexual activity. Many times, they will need time to recover, catch their breath after our session ends in a happy way. It’s fun to take someone over the top with their pleasure senses and control all of the reactions.

Goddess Asia – I am the Sexiest Asian Femdom you will ever meet. Queen of Tease – Pleasure & Pain. Warning: I am Very Addictive. Follow me on Instagram @thegoddessasia, Twitter @yesgoddessasia and Snapchat @lovesammyv

I will be traveling to San Francisco in January. Plans for future travels to Dallas, TX. And Manhattan, NY. TBD. Travels will be updated on my website calendar.

Images courtesy of Goddess Asia
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January 23, 2017