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Tag: First Date

  • Things That Shouldn’t Be Done On A First Date

    Things That Shouldn’t Be Done On A First Date

    Humans are social animals. We need meaningful connections with other humans on a regular basis in order to be healthy, happy, and productive. It’s an unfortunate truth that life can get in the way of staying close with friends from adolescence and it can be really tough, especially for men, to make deep friendships as adults. The result? Loneliness is becoming a real public health problem.

    Dating can help combat that. On a date, you can enjoy great conversation and laughter with someone you wouldn’t have met otherwise. There’s no anxiety over whether the person wants to be there with you, or if they’re judging you. You can see a show, share a meal at a nice restaurant, and just open up to someone who’s happy to listen.

    Physical affection is also necessary for optimal health and happiness, whether that’s a warm hug, movie cuddles, or something steamier.  Dating is a great way to find a consenting, enthusiastic partner, so everyone can win and we can all feel great.

    For partnered people in relationships with a libido imbalance, it can be a good way to take the pressure off of the lower libido partner and help keep both partners happy and satisfied in their stable relationship. I like nutrition – healthy eating is important, but nutritional supplements can help make up any gaps. Extramarital dating can do the same for long term relationships, so that an otherwise great couple doesn’t have to breakup just because of differences in sexual appetite.

    Aside from all the health and happiness benefits, dating is also just a great way to destress, meet cool people you wouldn’t have otherwise, and have a good time!

    How Do Women & Men View First Dates?

    I’ve heard a lot of guy friends say that first dates can feel like interviews. From the moment the date starts, they’re just trying to ‘win her over’ and make a good impression, so that they can secure a second date and, from there, the relationship or intimacy that they desire.

    Girlfriends confirm that – they often say that they’re not really there to have fun on a first date, they’re there to assess the guy. Is he interesting, intelligent, funny, successful, well put together, generous, attractive, in line with their vision for what their boyfriend should be? Does he seem like he’s looking for something serious or just playing the field?

    Instead of playing together as teammates, with the same goal of enjoying each other’s company in mind, men and women are often positioning themselves as opponents – awful as it sounds, sometimes it really seems like they’re painting it as a game of predator-and-prey, rather than a meeting of equals.

    I think that’s such an unfortunate take! It makes the whole thing more stressful than it needs to be, instead of just fun. I love dating as a companion because it gets rid of all of those unnecessary strings, expectations, and barriers that stand in the way of two people just really connecting and having a great time together.

    Have You Been On A Bad Date?

    I’ve been lucky not to have had any bad dates, but I’ve heard other women say that they’ve encountered rudeness and men who were after only one thing, and as much of it as they could possibly pack into their shared time. Everything has its place and I think that, especially on first dates, people should always expect to spend a little time getting to know their date through conversation before beginning a nonverbal conversation.

    Expectations I Have Of My Date

    I expect my date to be freshly showered, always respectful, mindful of good sense safety practices, communicative of both their desires and anything that makes them uncomfortable, and more focused on the comprehensive experience than accomplishing a checklist of tasks. This is true whether my date is a man, a woman, nonbinary, or a couple.

    In return, I am fully present and engaged, enthusiastic, focused on my date, and genuinely committed for the duration of our time together to providing the experience for them that they’re seeking.

    First Date Turn Offs Men Should Never Make

    Hygiene is so important, please always show up freshly showered and with fresh breath. If your date is at 3pm in the afternoon, having brushed your teeth that morning isn’t enough!

    It’s also always really important to be respectful and not pushy. When you’re respectful, kind, and generous, you make your date want to show you a great time. That’s so much better than demanding it, for everyone involved.

    Natalie Hepburn – Multiracial, multilingual, misbehaving Ivy grad. Wanderlusting cutie, sashimi fiend, and cuddly luxury companion in NYC and worldwide.

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  • How To Impress A Lady On A Date

    How To Impress A Lady On A Date

    I think of sex, intimacy and a good date experience kind of like a dance! The gentlemen always ask your permission, they likely introduce themselves and dance at your level. Then of course you get the men who are total show offs and really don’t care about your dance level at all, they grind up against you when it’s not wanted and get too close than what your comfort level is.

    There’s dancers that you have a great chemistry with and you get completely swept away. There’s those whom you can dance well with but lack that fire however, you enjoy it just the same because you both share a love for the music and the dance itself. There’s dancers that you feel a constant friction to pull away from or not able to dance as fully, freely or openly as you wish to. There’s some dancers you have that you just can’t wait to be over and then of course there’s some dancers that you just walk away from! There’s dancers you have observed, their mannerisms from afar and politely decline their offer to dance.

    So to bring it back to a good date experience I think it all comes down to respect, consent and connection. And just like in a dance, you both have somewhat of a foundation at the least, a connection can be built with almost anyone! As well as being curious and perhaps even playful! A good date experience will feel almost effortless and mutually enjoyable. You lose track of time for a brief moment, your body feels alive, your mind feels engaged and hopefully you share a few laughs! A good date experience always has me smiling at the end of the date and wishing that I see him again soon!

    First Date Experience

    Gosh I have so much to say about a first date experience…it definitely starts from the beginning upon first correspondence. I love when proper booking protocols are followed and when they read my website/ads/reviews/Twitter feed to get a sense of who Karina Espinosa is. I love when clients engage conversationally, I love when the intimacy flows naturally and when it feels mutual. Never expected, but always appreciated when a client goes out of their way to bring a small gift or drink/food to share or brings you on a social date. It’s so thoughtful and tends to the mood of the date.

    And of course some of my best and most memorable dates are the ones with one, two or even a few orgasms! I’ve had orgasms in ways that I never did in my civvie life before being a part of this industry. The fun part of this job is also exploring my own sexuality, so when connection and comfort levels are built over time, I can sometimes be open to what’s outside my norm, of course ymmv. I consider myself fairly ‘vanilla’ when it comes to sex but with time, builds trust and with the right man, I’ve been known to be open to exploring something more than what I consider ‘vanilla’. And of course I have my hard restrictions that will never change. Good date experiences often turn into several amazing date experiences!

    How Much Do First Impressions Matter?

    First impressions matter the most to me when I feel boundaries are being pushed. When red flags go up for various reasons, if a client did something disrespectful or perhaps we’re just not hitting it off then I will end the date or not see them again. Perhaps I haven’t even met them yet, it’s just through initial contact that I choose not to see them.

    Other than those reasons, I don’t put a huge emphasis on first impressions…when you meet someone in this capacity there can be a lot of nervous feelings, so I don’t tend to judge a first impression unless it’s in the latter. Connections build over time and I absolutely love that! As long as my date is respectful, then I’m happy!

    Expectations For Guys On Dates

    • Be respectful
    • Be on time and don’t go overtime
    • Give the donation at the beginning of the date
    • Be clean and hygienic
    • Be willing to engage in a conversation and mutual sensual play

    Common Mistakes Men Make On Dates

    It’s easier to answer this question as a list because yes there are several common mistakes men can make on a date:

    • Do your research and follow proper booking protocols, don’t just say ‘Hi’ etc.
    • Have the donation ready, don’t make the lady ask for it. To be fair, I think sometimes men are just nervous or mind-blown by the beautiful women they have the privilege of seeing, so a little reminder is needed sometimes, but it’s never preferred.
    • Hygiene, of course! Shower…and actually shower please! Common mistake is to fake shower or not use soap? I’m always freshly groomed and showered before a date and I expect the same.
    • I always tell my dates my restrictions before meeting them, so much appreciated when those limits aren’t pushed or asked for again during the session because no means no!
    • I’m not a clockwatcher but I try to give a time reminder. Being mindful of the time is so important! Also…don’t be late!
    • Fetishes: I get asked all the time if I’m fetish-friendly. Please share what your fetish is because oftentimes what some consider a fetish I just consider being completely affectionate and intimate. If it’s a fetish I don’t cater to, I will let you know.
    • Accept a compliment! On occasion I will compliment my date and sometimes I’m received by comments like ‘yeah right’ etc. It can be hard accepting a compliment, but if I give you one, believe me it’s genuine!

    I’ll leave it there, I think a whole article could be written on this question alone!

    Can There Be Too Much Flirting On A Date?

    I love flirting! I would say I flirt more so with my body by being affectionate, touching and kissing, I absolutely love kissing! I love aspects of both shorter and longer dates. I would say that more flirting happens on longer dates. During a longer date, as we are getting to know each other more I’m usually straddling my date on the couch, playing with their hair, lightly massaging/caressing them, slowing undoing their shirt buttons, maybe moving my hips around on them all the while having a light conversation getting to know one another! It’s like a flirting foreplay and I love that part of the date!

    I also love social dates, whether it be an activity or a meal there’s just so much buildup, sharing food, sipping wine, getting to know more about each other and also thinking about ripping each others clothes off later and exploring each other more intimately! No, I wouldn’t say there could be ‘too much’ flirting, I see it as a type of passionate foreplay that’s happening as soon as the date starts to when it ends.

    Experiencing Awkward & Bad Dates

    Yes, I’ve had many awkward and bad date experiences. I’ve asked dates to leave for various reasons as well as blacklisted others from ever seeing me again. I’ve thankfully never been in any dangerous situations or been harmed in any way physically. I’ve had dates eventually become obsessive to the point where its alarming and they are obviously blacklisted. I also had one crazy stalker, thankfully not a problem anymore. In these situations, I’m so thankful to have a police force that is supportive of sex workers here in Vancouver, at least that’s been my experience so far! Minor awkward and bad date experiences I won’t share as they may come across this article!

    Impress a lady by being one of those exceptional gentlemen kind of dancers and experience the unique and special kind of intimacy that only this industry can bring.  Thank you so much to SimplySxy for asking me to feature on this topic, what a privilege! And thank you to the readers for seeing what I have to say! I quite enjoyed crafting my thoughts for this article!

    Karina Espinosa -Vancouver’s Latina Sweetheart. She is an independent & well-reviewed Companion based in Vancouver, BC.

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    Article images courtesy of Karina Espinosa

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  • Ways To Enjoy A First Date

    Ways To Enjoy A First Date

    A good date experience is when we both leave the date feeling uplifted and excited. It always helps set a good tone for the date when I can tell that the other person has put some time/thought into the outing. If it’s not a blind date and you have a bit of an idea about your partners interests (from social media or mutual friends), you can really impress them by playing into that! It doesn’t have to meet any certain stipulations or criteria per say, as long as we both leave with smiles on our faces wanting to reconnect again.

    First Date Faves

    Going out for a meal is always a traditional nice way to get to know someone through conversation. But a good meal paired with a shared experience like going to an event, a class, or a museum, concert, hike, anything really — gives you something to talk about over dinner and an introductory way to explore likes, dislikes and each other’s interests.

    One of my favorite dates in San Francisco started as a walk through Golden Gate Park to a free event, Opera in the Park. We sat around on a picnic blanket and enjoyed the music for a bit (I think this gave us both time to get comfortable around each other and let the first date jitters subside), then walked over into a nice neighborhood nearby for a drink, then eventually to dinner and dessert.

    It ended up being a long date that was only expected to be the meet and greet and walk around the park but ended up being an all day affair because we were enjoying each others’ company.

    Preparing For The First Date

    Well I personally have a pre-date ritual to prepare for a date that involves a long shower and bath with a glass of wine, followed by body oil, face mask, and general grooming and primping. I follow this up with a meditation session so I feel relaxed and centered before meeting. On the date itself, I try to be myself for the most part, perhaps a little reserved in some areas until I get a good feel for the other person and our compatibility, but generally try to be as normal and like me as possible. How else will you know you’re a good fit if you aren’t being yourself?

    Expectations Of My Date

    I am generally not a high maintenance girl so all I expect from a date is courtesy, kindness, and respect. Also, I do think it’s appropriate for the man to at least ASK to pay the bill at the end of the night.

    Tips To Remove The Nerves

    Don’t be nervous! But of course that is easier said than done so I would say just take a few deep breaths, don’t be afraid to be yourself or talk about things that truly interest you (you’re probably more interesting than you let yourself believe) and in the event nerves are taking over anyway – don’t drink too much! I’ve seen this happen more than once and trust me, you’d rather be a bit nervous in the beginning and let that round out as the date goes on, than add fuel to the fire and end up being a hot mess!

    Jeniveve Delacroix – I am a 28 year old sensual blonde sweetheart living in San Francisco. I just graduated with my undergrad degree in the social sciences (I love to study all things people) and am enjoying my time off before I head back to grad school. In my free time I love to do yoga, hike, pet all the animals and travel and love to share these interests with like minded people.

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    Regularly available in the SF Bay Area with a tour to Denver in July, and NYC in September. TBD dates.

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