Tag: cheating

  • What Counts As Cheating?

    What Counts As Cheating?

    What constitutes cheating? Is flirting with strangers cheating? Or only when there is physical contact such as a kiss or having sex?

    In my personal opinion, I would include flirting, as cheating.

    Cheating can be physical or emotional, so even if a person hasn’t had a physical affair, an emotional affair is just as bad in my opinion. If a partner is texting another woman or man and is flirty or suggestive, there is something very wrong in that person’s relationship for them to put themselves out there in a way that their partner should only be seen.

    It’s possible their needs are not being met and that is why they are looking elsewhere, or they may have an issue with monogamy, depending on the situation and person involved.

    Have a question on your mind related to sex? Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com


    Christy Goldstein specializes in relationships and how to be successful in dating. If you’re looking for direction in your relationship, Christy will act as your best friend. Read the rest of her profile below!


    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock

  • Cuckold Vaccinations

    Cuckold Vaccinations

    Most men are naturally cuckold-averse or resistant due to the values instilled in them by society and their biological urges to propagate their own genes.

    Some, not all, of the men that end up overcoming their instinctual and societal conditioning and become accepting and supportive cuckolds for their wives do so because they received what I call a “cuckold-vaccination”.

    I propose that a man’s involvement with an adulterous woman contributes to and some men into becoming interested in a cuckold lifestyle later in life.

    A man can become psychologically “vaccinated” to a cuckold lifestyle later in life based on an experience he had in his teens or 20’s where a girlfriend or wife cheated on him. When these men find out about the infidelity, they are very upset and often end their relationship with the woman.

    These same men years later find themselves aroused by the intense memories of the infidelity that happened years earlier. Their first exposure to being a cuckold was unpleasant but it helps prepare them to be supportive cuckolds later in life.

    Clearly I have no proof that anything like a psychological vaccination exists or how effective it is.

    Many men who have a cheating girlfriend or wife in their life is a very negative experience but some of these jilted men later then desire to be a cuckold and others do not.

    My theory is that there are two ways in which a cuckold experience can “vaccinate” and lead a man to develop an interest in being a cuckold or involved with it in some way.

    The first is a man who finds out about his girlfriend’s or wife’s infidelity. Often he ends the relationship or marriage but repeatedly thinks about what happened. Over time this women becomes the star of the erotic fantasies he plays in his mind. All men are voyeurs to some extend and for some men imagining a former girlfriend or wife having sex with other men becomes, at first, their kinky fantasy and later something more.

    The second is when a man discovers or is told that his girlfriend or wife has been cheating on him and he becomes upset and feels betrayed. Often he breaks up with or divorces the cheating woman. He then goes through a period of anger where he recounts in his mind the things he did with the woman. He tries to think of reasons why she cheated on him.

    Was it something he did?

    Is he sexually inadequate?

    Why didn’t he recognize the signs of her infidelity?

    Who knew about her cheating but didn’t tell him about it?

    Did anyone enjoy seeing this woman make a fool of him?

    Perhaps the man becomes addicted to the intense emotions he felt when he learned about the infidelity and overtime these emotions become mixed up with his sexual arousal.

    At first he is disgusted at the thought of having sex with her after she might have sex with another guy but he also begins to wonder. This is when the man begins to imagine his ex-girlfriend/wife having sex with another man and it arouses him. He then is ashamed of his arousal and slowly the memories of the relationship and her cheating becomes a kinky fantasy he occasionally thinks about. He accepts his “perversion” and some of these men eventually approach their current girlfriend or wife on this taboo subject.

    Are there any readers who have experienced this for themselves?

    Drop me a mail at pwh.steve@gmail.com


    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Cheated? 5 simple ways to move on

    Cheated? 5 simple ways to move on

    While I do not wish for myself or anyone else to go through the same agony, it is inevitable that some of us would have been cheated on at some point in time be it whether the relationship has run its course or well … the other party has decided that the grass could be crispier on the other side.  Even though I am now in a perfectly happy relationship with my adorably insufferable new beau, I can easily recall those hellish sleepless nights whereby I had spent them unearthly hours trying to rationalize and figure out why things turned out the way they did.  Moving on was exceptionally hard for me, given that it was my first real relationship—spanning half-a-decade—and my immediate instinct was to shut myself from the rest of society and immerse in work.  While my productivity definitely reached an all-time high, I was feeling like a pathetic rat every single day.  I eventually had an epic breakdown before picking up what remained of my miserable self.  It was not after when the ex tried to establish contact several months later to express his regrets and to seek a chance for reconciliation then did I realize that moving on was the best decision that I had made.  By cheating on me, he was essentially the one who could not come to terms with himself and chose to run away from his own insecurity issues.  If you are currently holding onto a destructive relationship that can no longer be salvaged, perhaps it is now the time to re-evaluate your situation.  Here are some ways that I have helped myself to move on:

    Friends and parents

    One of the best ways to acknowledge that the relationship is no longer functional is to come to terms with it and to keep the close circle of friends informed.  However, most of us may take a while before letting the parents know, especially if both parties have yet to meet the parents.  While my friends have been really supportive, my folks were the ones who provided the most emotional support during this period and made sure that I was at least eating well despite waking up to seeing me with puffy eyes every morning.  My mum even skipped her weekly mahjong sessions just to chill out with me.  Right now, two years on, my dad keeps a lookout for me to make sure that I am in a good place in my current relationship.

    No contact

    Out of sight; out of mind.  In my instance, the ex was clearly expecting me to give in and forgive him again after he had initiated the second breakup.  After all, I was the one who forgave him all too easily previously.  This time round, I was determined to cease every means of contact.  Apart from refusing to pick up his phone calls, I went the extra mile by blocking him and his entire clan on whatsapp, facebook, and all other forms of social media.  This made things much easier and I was no longer tormented over whether to give him another chance because he clearly deserved … not.

    To find yourself again

    Sure, things may have changed over the course of the relationship.  While it is most likely that both parties are responsible for this breakdown, there is no need to beat yourself up over it.  It is important to figure out the cause (if possible) and give yourself ample time to internalize it before moving on in order to embark on the journey to find yourself again.  Take part in activities that you have always wanted, but never had the time to.  Indulge and splurge on that piece of luxury item that you had been eyeing with the money you were saving up for a vacation with the ex.  Go for a movie alone and learn to appreciate the solo time that you have earned.

    Sweat it out

    I literally found my solace in jogging and pilates.  It wasn’t soon before I made the decision to sign up to the local gym, hit the threadmill, and went for my first pilates class.  And I have never looked back since.  Apart from relishing in the adrenalin rush, it also made me aware that if I could accomplish the seemingly impossible and arduous feat of those insane elevated leg circles, there was possibly nothing else that I was not capable of.  In a way, this gave me the willpower to put everything to an end when the ex wanted to get back together.

    Burn baby burn !

    What’s the point of keeping those movie ticket stubs, birthday and valentine cards?  These were written and exchanged during better times and he/she clearly no longer feels the same.  Sure, getting rid of all these may come across as a bitter act and seem to be too drastic a step, but there is no better feeling than to watch those painful memories fire up and burn away.   Just be sure to extinguish the flames before bidding the past away.