Author: Muslim Sahib Torun

Pink Pride

It is time to hit the gym and start eating healthy so as to look good for the different LGBT events that is happening in June 2014. This month’s calendar has suddenly become jam-packed with Shanghai Pride moving back to June and President Obama declaring June as LGBT Pride Month in the US. In anticipation for these events, let us review the top five moments for two major LGBT events that took place last year: Pink Dot and Taiwan Pride.

Pink Dot started around 5 p.m. and during this time you could find many laying down picnic mats, snacking on food and chatting with friends while basking in the evening sun. Just off the car park, there were booths of the different LGBT NGOs and event sponsors. If you took a walk around the park, you would be sure to stumble upon old friends. There were performances from various groups to entertain us and once the sky turned dark, everyone gathered towards the center of the park with their pink cellophane filters on their phones light for Pink Dot’s classic lit-up with an aerial photo shoot. There were about 21,000 attendees last year which was a record high for the Singapore LGBT event. Every year, the event gets bigger and this year will be no exception.

Taiwan Pride on the other hand began about 2 p.m. but the cool autumn breeze made the 4 km walk a joy. The parade route started and ended in front of Taipei City Hall. Passing by Sun Yat-sen Memorial and then going up Dunhua South before looping back to City Hall via Zhongxiao East. We saw many people dressed in sexy costumes, parade floats catering to different fetishes and people from varied walks of life striding side by side. When you have 60,000 people walking with you, the atmosphere is nothing short of electric.

Now for my personal top five moments of these two events.

Number five: There were a lot of hot and cute guys. I was surprised I did not get diabetes from all the eye candy. One advice for anyone attending these events for the first time is not to be shy. Please go up to anyone you like and say hello, take a picture, or get a number.

Number four: The Singapore flag flying pass during Pink Dot. Coincidentally on the very same day, the flight path of the Chinook carrying a giant Singapore flag for the National Day Parade rehearsal was over Hong Lim Park. The flag was accompanied by two Apaches which made it a truly marvelous sight to see.

Number three: Singing “Home” by Dick Lee after the Pink Dot light-up. Usually after the Pink Dot light-up, the event organizer will play the theme song for that year’s event. The song “Home” was last year’s song and it is a very emotional national song for many Singaporeans.

Number two: Taiwan Pride was just plain awesome. I could easily ramble on a list; walking with 60,000 people in the parade, the wonderful weather, having Taipei 101 in the backdrop, the people and the culture. You just have to be there in person to experience how magical Taiwan Pride can be.

Number one: Seeing the different minorities of the Taiwan LGBT community. Taiwan is much bigger in population then Singapore, which makes their LGBT minorities hard to remain unnoticed. During the parade, I had a chance to walk along many disabled LGBTs; some in wheelchairs and others born with birth defects. It really had me thinking about how difficult their life could be. It is not always fun and games in the LGBT community as there is a lot of discrimination within this unified rainbow. I empathized with them and realized how blessed my gay life has been.

Images courtesy of Pink Dot SG rally organizers © 2013 and Sahib Torun

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June 27, 2014
A Safe Space

When the term ‘gay lifestyle’ is mentioned, an image of intoxicated hot topless men dancing to the beat of David Guetta’s Titanium, comes to mind. Even though this imagery is not what the LGBT community would like to be stereotyped as, we need to acknowledge the importance of having a safe space for the community to let loose and just hang out.

A safe space is a place where the community can go to be who they are and not be judged by what they do. Many of these safe spaces exist in our society as gay bar and clubs. On 26 April 2014, PLAY, a popular Singapore LGBT club, had a One Night in Sentosa (O.N.S) event at Azzura Beach Club. The night was not shy of drag queens shows, party rockers downing Grey Goose on the dance floor and watchers ogling at man-cleavage while DJ Zack C brought the house down. Although the event was a success, we have to remember that PLAY closed down late last year. The key reason they closed down was due to high rental, which went up by 200%. Even though PLAY will reopen in a new location in the future, we still need to ask “Is the pink dollar strong enough sustain such a LGBT-centric business?” Are we doomed to lose our safe space due to the economy?

Taking a look around the Asia-Pacific region, many major cities have a thriving LGBT scene. Thailand is filled with gogo boy bars, saunas and an active clubbing scene. The acceptance of the community in Thailand makes it one of the top LGBT vacation spots. Recently, the country had their annual New Year festival: the Songkran festival. Songkran has become a ‘must go’ event on the pink calendar. Proclaimed as Asia’s biggest gay party—Song Kran 8—organised by gCircuit spans three night parties and two pool parties, all packed into three fun-filled days. This is one water festival that will leave you thirsting for more. In contrast, how does a country with the lack of safe space impact the community?

In Vietnam, there are not many places for the community to meet; whether to make new friends or find a partner. Many lead a straight life. Meetups happen through traditional methods like word of mouth or when one is brave enough to approach a fellow pink stranger. Luckily, the age of the internet has allowed a safe space to take refuge in the form of online communities. Online forums and smart phone apps have become a staple for self-expression. It has allowed many people who otherwise, will never meet to cross paths.

However, technology can never truly replace a physical safe space that allows you to be comfortable in your own skin. It is unfortunate that many in the LGBT community still lead a closeted life. Putting on a façade for a 9-to-5 job; 5 or more days in the week. They are contributing members in society and they take care of their family. Being who you are is a privilege that not everyone can enjoy. It is always nice to have a safe space to where you can put on your dancing shoes, have a Jägerbomb and be reminded that “I am titanium.”

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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June 1, 2014
Lesbian Porn vs. Gay Porn

Lesbian porn and gay porn: At first glance, seemed to look like different sides of the same coin. However, it is very difficult to place them into the proverbial box.

Firstly, lesbian porn is not designed for lesbians. It is designed in the imagery of the heterosexual male’s fantasy. Most sexual positions that are seen in these movies are targeted to arouse men. Take for example the scissors position; it is a very awkward position for women to have their legs and groin in such a pose. It is a pose that takes a lot of effort but with very little returns. However, there is no doubt that the pose is visually stunning on camera.

Heterosexual men do not have a clear understand on how orgasm in women occurs. Many still have the perception that orgasm only occurs when penetration happens. This is not true. Dr. William Masters, a pioneer in the nature of human sexual response published a paper on this topic in 1966. Dr. Masters found that a clitoral orgasm shows the same sexual response as a vaginal orgasm. If such information has been around for decades, why then is our society still clueless when it comes to matters in bed?

On the other side of the coin, anal sex or any form of male submission in gay porn is a turn off for heterosexual men. Most straight people have the notion that anal sex is the main sexual satisfaction that gay men are looking for. However, not all gay men want anal sex. There are many gay men that choose to abstain from anal sex but yet have very healthy sexual relationships with their partners. Penetration is not the only way to receive emotional and sexual satisfaction. Like any relationship, one must take the time to find out what sexually stimulates your partner.

Gay porn is very much interwoven in a gay man’s life; much like heterosexual porn to straight men. Most porn stars have become a household name. If you mention names like Peter Fever and Johnny Rapid, you will definitely strike a chord with a gay man. Last year, there was a great loss in the gay porn industry as well as in the gay community. Koh Masaki, a famous gay porn star died at the age of 29. His death was sudden and tragic. Koh Masaki has starred in over a hundred gay porn films and is known for his good looks, masculinity and passion on scene. He brought joy and comfort to many gay men. Upon his death, millions all of around the world went into mourning together with his partner and his family.

Porn has many sides and many faces. It has different meanings to different people. Porn is also a heightened version of society’s sexual needs. However, the lack of dialog for such taboo conversations prevents us from having a deeper understanding of the complexity of the human sexual experience. If such open dialog takes place, it can help many understand that homosexual porn is far too dynamic to be stereotyped as different sides of the same coin.

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Images courtesy of Shutterstock

May 8, 2014