SimplySxy

Tag: Sexually transmitted diseases

  • How do I tell my partner I have HIV?

    How do I tell my partner I have HIV?

    Have a question on your mind about sex or seeking advice? Ask us on any topic and we’ll provide you with the answers from an expert. Send them in to editorial@simplysxy.com. 

    We have collected your questions on HIV and sexual health, and are delighted to have Caroline Maposphere to answer them below.

    Qn: What are some symptoms and early stage signs of HIV?

    Acute HIV infection may present as a ‘flu-like’ illness as the immune system attempts to fight the virus. Some of the signs may include but are not limited to Fever; Sore throat; Tiredness; Diarrhoea; Joint/ muscle pain; Swollen glands; Skin rash. This may then be followed by an asymptomatic stage where one has no obvious signs and symptoms of an illness except for generalized lymphadenopathy (swollen glands).

    Qn: How well do condoms and use of lube prevent HIV?

    When correctly and consistently used, condoms have been demonstrated to be effective for HIV prevention. This has been demonstrated both in the laboratory and demographically. Laboratory studies have shown that condoms provide an effective barrier against HIV. Studies have indicated that people who report correct and consistent use of condoms have reduced risk of HIV transmission.

    Although safety of lubes has been debated however, it is generally safer to use lubes with condoms than have dry sex which increases the risk of friction and consequent condom tearing or bursting. If the objective of using lubes is to have a condom protected sexual intercourse session, then lubes are safe and help to prevent HIV.

    Qn: What is the best way for one to inform their partner of possible HIV infection?

    There is no prescribed formula for disclosing one’s HIV status to a partner but having a relationship that allows or is based on open and honest communication is helpful. Bringing a brochure on HIV could be helpful or tuning in to a TV /radio program on HIV and then personalize the discussion might help. One can also make an appointment with a professional counselor/ doctor for their partner and have the professional call the partner.

    Qn: What are the potential health problems one will encounter if HIV positive?

    Once the virus is inside the human body, HIV attacks the body defense system – the immune system which would normally fight off any infections. With a weakened immune system, one can expect to get sick more often and the illnesses to last longer than in a person whose immunity is intact. Because the virus targets cells that are all over the body, all body systems may get affected. The severity of how the systems are affected and at what point in time, depends on one’s nutritional status, other co infections and one’s general health.

    Qn: If I have an active lifestyle, how often should I be tested for HIV?

    Ideally, one should get tested at every routine health check, after every risky exposure to HIV or at least every 3 – 6 months.

    Caroline Maposphere is a registered nurse (RN) and a midwife with training in public health and holds a BA in Theology.

    Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
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  • Challenges of a trans-lesbian

    Challenges of a trans-lesbian

    For lesbian, dyke, or queer-identified transgender women, most of us have had the most difficult time with acceptance. That is, accepting ourselves, having other women accept us, being accepted in women’s community, and desiring each other as women.

    When I came out as a trans woman, I was able to find that courage after years and years of shame. I thought I’d never become an “acceptable” woman – one who wanted to wear high heels, grow out her hair, “pass,” and be desirable to women. As I grew up and found myself as a feminist, I tried to reject these presumptions and stereotypes about trans women. At the same time, I found myself shameful about “wanting to be” a woman (even though I already was deep down inside). It was only when I saw different trans women in porn, trans women who fucked and loved other women, that I was able to say, “Holy crap, that’s totally me, and I can totally do this.”

    In a short time, I turned to sex work, as many trans women have done, partially for money reasons, but mostly because it worked for me and I wanted to do it. I continued to find myself as a kinky, queer woman through dominatrix work, and independently produced porn. While sex workers are painted as victims by society, I’ve found this mostly to be completely untrue. I’ve found it, like everything in life, to be much more complicated.

    My experience of being a trans dyke, and my relative privileges, has made me consider engaging in sex work that is most gratifying for me. When I, fortunately, came into some money, I wanted to invest that in producing great porn featuring non-straight trans women. So I came up with TransLesbians.com.

    While it’s generally unknown how many trans women identify as straight, bisexual, lesbian, or queer in the U.S., my experience working and meeting other trans women has proved that we have a very wide variety of sexual orientations. Anecdotally, I’ve known most trans women to be non-straight — and this applies to those of all different types of race and other backgrounds. Perhaps one of the most comprehensive and recent surveys by the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force agrees with this evidence.

    My sex work, and more specifically my porn, has attempted to show lesbian or non-straight trans women as authentic and complicated people with just as varied sexualities as cisgender women. When creating TransLesbians, my goals sound deceptively simple:

    1. Showcase really hot, nasty gonzo-style porn between trans and cisgender women without using the terms “tranny” or “shemale.”
    2. Capture real attraction and sizzling chemistry.
    3. Hire an all-trans women staff for support behind the camera.
    4. Provide a safe, comfortable, and responsible workplace.
    5. Pay performers as close to industry-standard rate as possible, and try to create a sustainable income for non-straight trans women sex workers.

    Undoubtedly, the challenges faced by lesbian and queer-identified trans women are as deep and complicated as how one experiences their identity. My unending hope is to create, first and foremost, a positive experience of trans women, and that this will inspire many more of us to find ourselves and embrace each other as women.

    Image courtesy of Emma Claire
    Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy?  Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!

  • Vaccinate your Teenager against Unwanted Pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases

    Vaccinate your Teenager against Unwanted Pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases

    With internet pornography and lack of healthy sexuality, a growing number of teens and young adults get most of their sex education from watching Pornography. 

    As a parent would you like your child to learn about sex from other teenagers?

    Parents can now vaccinate their children against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease with information!

    What makes this such a problem in Singapore is the generation gap between traditional views of sex on one side and the availability of pornography to teenagers on the other side.

    Parents are not comfortable talking openly about sex with their children and by the time the kids turn into teenagers, they have gotten most of their information from other teenagers or internet porn and not from mom or dad.

    “A survey was conducted in Singapore about the growing number of teenagers having unsafe sex.  The survey stated that because of a lack of knowledge among young people it could lead to dangerous behaviour that puts them at risk of unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.  The incidence of sexually transmitted infections among teens rose from 238 cases in 2002 to 787 last year.”

    Parents need to learn how to talk to their children about sex when they are young, starting out with age appropriate materials done in a positive way.  The biggest challenge that most parents have is their own embarrassment with talking about sex.  One way to combat this embarrassment is to view it as knowledge that will vaccinate their children against unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases that could save their lives.

    Knowledge is power, and the more positive information that children learn about their own bodies, then they are less curious about searching for information that can be damaging or dangerous leading to unsafe sex.  Not talking about healthy sexuality or shaming a child for talking about sex is the most dangerous message that a parent can give to their child and teenagers!

    The process starts when a child is younger and curious about their own bodies, a parents’ feedback is crucial.  Never put negative connotations on a child’s body, use correct terminology, and call a penis a penis or a vagina a vagina.  When a parent sees a child touch themselves, don’t shame them, but understand that they don’t know the difference between scratching their arm or touching their penis/vagina.  Telling them to stop or saying something negative is only going to shame them or make them feel bad about their body.

    As children turn into teenagers, talk to them about sex, to respect their own bodies and if they have sexual urges to masturbate, it is the safest form of sex on the planet.  Talk to them about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases.  Explain to teenagers that touching, hugging and kissing can be fun, but that it does not have to lead to sex, and saying no is alright and if they say yes, to use a condom.  Prepare them for war and give then the armour that they need to survive!

    Parents have the belief that if they talk about sex with their kids, then they are telling them that it is alright to have it, and by not talking to them about it means they won’t have it…..WRONG! 

    With that belief, a parent has just sent his/her child out into the world naked, not prepared and will most likely end up being a victim of an early sexual encounter, learning about sex from other teens and porn.  Those are the teens that have the highest incidence of unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease!

    Vaccinate your child with knowledge about healthy sexuality, the odds are that your child will not be among the odds but safe!