SimplySxy

Tag: Pegging

  • How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    How To Explore Pegging With A Dominatrix

    I first started having kinky fantasies when I was a very young girl. At first, I was very guilty and thought I was weird because back then, none of my friends talk or share about such things. It was only much later and in recent times that I discovered that there were others who were kinky and there was even a community where people congregated.

    That made me feel a lot better about myself and excited to know that there were actually others into what I enjoyed. This meant that I was able to hang out in a space with like minded people and truly be myself and what I am, instead of always having to skirt around my kinks with vanilla friends.

    What I Love About Pegging

    Pegging is essentially anal sex reversed – instead of a male penis in a woman’s ass, the woman wears a strap-on and fucks the male’s ass. I’ve always been fascinated with the power exchange aspect of D/s. In the same way, pegging is a means for me to induce power exchange when traditional gender roles during sex are reversed.

    The act of penetrating a man is not only fun but mentally arousing for me – making me feel powerful, strong and pushes me into a very dominant headspace. Not to mention, all that hip thrusting doubles up as a real good cardio workout!

    Reasons Subs Enjoy Being Pegged

    Most subs who come to me for pegging want to experience submission by having their most vulnerable and private areas violated. Some enjoy being emasculated through anal sex and also request to incorporate this with some form of sissy play.

    Others are more experienced and have already embarked on their own anal exploration and just want their male G-spot to be stimulated. I must say though, it is exceptionally enjoyable when subs come to me knowing that I love pegging and they want to please me by offering their holes to me.

    My Domination Style

    Being safe, sane and consensual is what all my clients can expect from me. My style of domination is sensual yet firm – think of that sexy colleague that caught your eye at the office pantry, who turns out to be the no-nonsense manager on your team. As the person in charge, I take the effort to do my own research about the kink and find my own practice before I involve my subs.

    I believe that communication is key to any successful session –  I always engage potential subs before any session, find out if they have prior anal experience and structure an appropriate scene tailored for the sub to explore pegging based on their context. For example, if a sub were to tell me that they have not tried any anal play before, I would recommend basic anal training before jumping into a full on pegging session.

    What To Expect In My Pegging Sessions

    Well, just like any good sexual encounter, my typical pegging session starts with building up sexual tension between me and my sub. It could be anything from dirty talk to tease and denial – getting the sub aroused and relaxed is rather key to making penetration enjoyable and easier later in the session.

    I personally use the strap-on harness from SpareParts – it is super comfortable, adjustable and looks super sick. The harness can accommodate a variety of dildos, giving me the versatility to meet my client’s needs. Unless you’re a size queen, I always start with my smallest dildo and am very generous with lube! So, don’t worry, I’m not going to tear you a new asshole on our first date. 😉

    Pegging Tips For First Timers

    As with trying anything new, go in with an open mind. You might like it or you might hate it, but it is always important to try, especially with someone who knows what they are doing. Besides reading up, I would recommend all aspiring clients to also try and explore your own body before hand – stick a finger or a small plug up your ass first and see how that feels for you.

    Cleaning out before the session can also help make the entire process more enjoyable for all parties – less fear or shame from any potential mess or bad smells. End of the day, if you’ve been toying with the idea of getting pegged, feel free to drop me a message and I will be more than happy to take you down this delicious rabbit hole.

    Mistress Haze – A tall and athletic dominatrix based in Singapore that is passionate about creating fun and exciting scenes. She enjoys turning confident and assertive men into soft putty, bending them to her sensually deviant brand of kink. 

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    Website: http://www.mistresshaze.com/

    Article images courtesy of Mistress Haze

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  • Straight Men Like Pegging And Here Is Why

    Straight Men Like Pegging And Here Is Why

    More straight men are being penetrated by their female partners… and they’re loving it!

    In an age where it seems like anything goes, there’s the slightest chance that everything’s been done before and just running itself full circle. History buffs may agree or agree to disagree, but there’s been a culture of what modern speak would classify as gender identities for millennia, with up until recently, only the three getting much press: straight, bi or gay. Today, even fence sitters have a choice of identity, and the choice of sexual or non-sexual/gender identities is becoming something of a metaphorical can of worms. Not surprisingly, the popular weapons of choice for any gender, or sexual/non-sexual or otherwise are now as diverse as the choices people make to express themselves individually, or as a larger group within the community.

    Sexual pleasure and intimacy have been re-defined

    Back in the day (not that long ago), if I referred to a lesbian friend as “gay,” I’d get a free lesson in how to not refer to my sexuality from her. Now, she’s the first to roll her eyes at the dazzling array of choices folks can proudly choose from. Likewise for a gay man. There were actually a handful of terms, and the fences had been broken down, then mended, and everybody was happy. Or were they? Apparently not.

    Without inviting or inciting debate, it’s clear that, today, sexual and gender identity is as varied as people themselves. There’s also a broad and diverse range of personal, emotional and physical/sexual habits and preferences people may or may not develop if identifying as a particular type or preference. How has this influenced intimacy and romance, even sex for the new minority, and straight people?

    Has it really shifted things up a gear, or are people still doing what they’ve always done, and we’re just seeing a lot more diversity through internet exposure, media and a proliferation of advocacy groups? Some would say yes to all these, while others might flatly disagree. Again, when it comes to gender and identity issues, there’s no wrong answer, so vive la difference!

    It’s not gay for a guy to enjoy anal

    A common and long held fantasy for heterosexual couples is for the male to be mounted/penetrated by his female partner. A tricky business, seeing as the female equivalent of a penis is well, not really gonna do much back there. Fortunately, this is easily overcome and modern day enthusiasts, especially those freshly liberated from thinking certain things are dirty or unnatural, can now borrow from other sub-sets of sexual choice accessories, and enjoy themselves like never before.

    The popularity of prostate play for men in solo or coupled settings has exploded in recent years, with men of all persuasions realizing they might have missed out on the most crucial part of any sexual revolution, which is actually enjoying it! It’s not uncommon today for a guy to pleasure himself while stimulating his prostate, while he also makes love to his wife/partner/lover/friend. And then she herself may don a vibrating strap-on dildo, or something similar, and service him from behind until they both climax. It’s a win/win for couples, and there’s certainly a strong whiff of equality about it, so everyone should be happy again. Shouldn’t they?

    Build it, and they will come…

    Amidst the explosion of new consciousness revolving around sexual preferences, is a plethora of consumer goods. In fact, it’s big business for those who provide for those who take it seriously enough to act on their preferred impulse, or lack thereof. Whole cultures and subcultures exist for people who like to dress up as dogs, for example. They wear a dog suit/mask, and have a wagging tail up their butt, eat out of a bowl, the whole nine yards. All these and more accessory types are, of course, freely available for a nominal fee, free shipping and shipped in non-descript and inoffensive brown paper. It’s my right to dress like a hound, but I’d prefer my neighbor didn’t know!

    A mentioned hint or suggestion in passing to your better half about maybe investing in a vibrating strap on mightn’t seem so out of place by comparison. Even the conventional, stock standard shock value of (dare we say it?) lesbian women, using a strap on dildo has been modernized, so as not to exclude everybody else from what was once very clearly a girls only ‘sport.’ The old style vibrating strap on has been redesigned and reinvented; it’s a strapless vibrating strap on now, and unisex, to be enjoyed by anyone. Thus, keeping in tune with the new millennial approach to whatever you feel is right for you sexually, a strapless or vibrating strap on can be used by any gender, enjoyed in any hole, or no hole at all…

    But for the straight up and down guy, who might have to think several times before offering an opinion about anything gender or sex based anymore, can delight in the knowing, that despite the paradigm shifts, he too is now free to express himself further if he so chooses, and if he’s found the right gal and she’s more than happy to give him a dose of his own ‘medicine.’

    The future is now

    In modern day ancient Rome, and Greece at around the same time, if you could afford it, or even if you couldn’t, you could pretty much have your way with whomever and whatever you wanted. The future was now, even way back then. Civilization was at its peak and boy oh boy… were they enjoying the fact.

    Believe it or not, 2000 years ago, there were also just as many gay men, lesbian women, transgender, bisexual, and plenty more non-classified individuals who today, might not fare as well as the accepted and encouraged modes of personal identity. And although they mightn’t have had motorized vibrators, even ancient history shows us most civilizations most certainly had their own modern day equivalents of vibrating strap ons, dildos, lubricant, pornography, and a whole bunch of stuff that we might think is reserved exclusively for us in the 21st century.

    Today, thanks to the law, and a societal preference with a broader moral compass, we’ve arrived at a point where the lines have shifted, some might say blurred. But, in reality, it’s generally okay to be whoever you are, and you’re able to express it without fear of prejudice or persecution… at least behind closed doors and sexually speaking.

    The gender roles within relationships may have also shifted for many, as much as they have within the body and mind of individuals who can happily say they have found their true self at last.

    So guys, next time you want to ask, hint or huff about swallowing or anal, ask yourself first, “Is this something I would enjoy experiencing and being done to me?”

    Do unto others, and all that…

    Happy diversity day! Because whoever or wherever you are, you’re special. And that is still worth celebrating, every… single… (or partnered, or other type of relationships) day!

    Images courtesy of Hot Cherry

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  • How Pegging Boosts Ones’ Sex Life

    How Pegging Boosts Ones’ Sex Life

    Sex can be defined in a myriad of ways; it is wonderfully individual. I believe sex is a beautiful way to experience human connection, something every one of us needs and all too many people are starved for. That’s the part of sex I love the most, the human connection. I describe myself as a dominant sensual sadist, and enjoy power exchange. In my opinion, the best sex is an unhurried erotic exploration of each other’s bodies.

    What Is Pegging?

    Pegging is the act of a woman using a strap-on to penetrate a man anally. The original definition is quite gendered. With different gender identifications, my definition has morphed into a person wearing a strap-on anally penetrating a person who has a prostate. When teaching about pegging, I often use the terms ‘giver’ and ‘receiver’ to hold space for everyone.

    Why Is Pegging Enjoyable?

    Women find enjoyment in pegging in a number of areas. Some women are able to orgasm during pegging, and that is certainly enjoyable! Giving their partners unparalleled levels of pleasure is a particular thrill for some women. Domination and power exchange appeals to others. In fact, more than a few women have discovered their underlying dominant leanings through pegging. Many women cherish the deeper intimacy often found through the experience of switching their usual roles during sex.

    Men love pegging for a variety of reasons as well. Pure pleasure is often what motivates men to explore; their prostate is their G-spot. Orgasms achieved through prostate stimulation are often more powerful, long-lasting and even multiple when compared with regular orgasms. Taking on the role of the receiver and not having to run the fuck appeals to many men as well, especially those men who are expected to be in control in all other areas of their life. It can be a relief and a distinct pleasure for them to lay back, receive and allow themselves to be vulnerable. Men also speak of loving the deeper intimacy, and renewed spark it gives to their sexual relationships.

    5 Misconceptions About Pegging

    1. Men who like anal stimulation are gay.

    Reality: the area of your body that you enjoy having stimulated has absolutely no bearing on the gender you prefer to do the stimulating.

    2. Men who get pegged will turn gay and want a real cock.

    Reality: there is no magic button in a man’s ass that when stimulated, suddenly causes him to switch sexual orientations.

    3. Pegging is all about pain.

    Reality: Pegging should never be about pain, If it hurts, you are doing something wrong.

    4. Pegging is horribly dirty.

    Reality: Proper diet and adequate clean out methods can ensure that pegging is a pretty clean experience.

    5. Pegging is like pegging porn.

    Reality: Feminization, verbal degradation and humiliation, impact play (beating), bondage, and CBT (cock and ball torture) are all lovely kinks if you are into them. They are not, however, inextricably connected to the act of pegging. Pegging can be sensual; just one more way to make love.

    How Pegging Enhances The Sexual Experience?

    Pegging can enhance the sexual experience in a number of ways.

    Pegging allows partners to experience sex from the opposite side of the bed, so to speak. You get to experience your partner’s usual role during sex, giving you understanding and compassion which leads to deeper intimacy.

    Pegging offers the thrill of sexual exploration and new experiences, including running the fuck for the givers and allowing vulnerability for the receivers.

    Power exchange can be explored along with pegging, to any extent desired. The role reversal offers a chance to experience new roles in the sexual act.

    Choosing The Right Strap-On For Pegging

    That’s a big question. There are many more factors to consider when choosing equipment than most people think. For example, body sizes, harness style, prostate sensitivity, color, shape, curve, texture, realism, firmness, balls, vibes, etc. All of these are questions that need to be answered before purchasing equipment.

    While the recommendation of a pegging kit is often given, I don’t go there. The harness in kits is usually uncomfortable, sits too high, made cheaply, and does not fit all bodies. Typically kits are used for a short time and then better equipment is purchased.

    I have recorded a podcast that is all about choosing equipment, #102. I don’t even talk about brands, just all the considerations necessary to getting equipment suited to both partners. I advise listening to the podcast first, and then buying equipment from reputable companies that offer quality, non-toxic, and body-safe toys (Amazon sells the opposite).

    Ruby Ryder -Ruby Ryder of PeggingParadise.com, is a podcaster, blogger, sex educator and a published writer of erotic fiction. She has moderated panels at CatalystCon East and West, been a speaker on the main stage at the BIL conference, and presented at DomCon LA. Her erotica is in Violet Blue’s ‘Best Women’s Erotica 2014.’ She recently appeared in an episode of Comedy Central’s ‘Not Safe with Nikki Glaser’.

    She spends her time spreading the word about the singular joys of pegging, teaching, writing pegging erotica and doing everything she can to encourage a sex-positive society in which we can all be exactly who we are.

    Get in touch with Ruby via email ruby@peggingparadise.com

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    Other Works:

    Patreon – Support My Work

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    Free Webinars to learn About Pegging!

    Coming soon:

    Advanced Pegging Webinar

    How to Find a Woman to Peg You Webinar

    Article images courtesy of Ruby Ryder

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  • What is Pegging?

    What is pegging? And how does it involve women, men, dildos, lube, pleasure and power?

    This VIDEO has been republished with permission from our contributing author, Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus. Please visit Dr. Jenn’s website to view original post and more of Dr. Jenn’s works.