SimplySxy

Tag: mistress serene

  • Desire

    Desire

    I want to be desired deeply as I desire.  I want to be touched with the longing of the continuous curiosity of my flesh, mind and soul.  To be consumed in passion is like a good high.  Better than alcohol or weed and as strong as dancing to Pink’s “Raise Your Glass” at full blast.  Sometimes I get that feeling of desire when I am in the eyes of a purser.  That man or woman who wants to be inside of you; that feeling is awesome.  The object of desire, the object of the chase.  Right now as I write this in a remote part of Northern Thailand, the only ones desiring me like their life depending on it are the mosquitoes.

    So in the wee hours before dawn when I awoke again with this hunger for desire, I had to ask the hard question.  Am I desirable?  My first thought was to look in the mirror.  But I know what I look like and what I can look like when I primp.  Self-improvement of the physical body is not the means to the end I desire.  And attraction for my physical beauty is not my aim.  Desire is deeper when it’s internal heat that is generated.  Beyond the pretty surface there is something more.  Something I want this person to want with me; not of me.

    So I dig a little deeper and look at what I’m desiring.  I desire the heavens.  The knowledge and the ability to walk among the stars, galaxies and planets of other worlds.  My curiosity is for more beauty.  Though every day I try to soak in the beauty of this planet, I desire more.  Am I greedy?  I suppose I am.  And I desire someone who has the same desires.  The passion that pulls us through the worm holes and vortexes together in an orgasmic arch!  Whew that’s a good fantasy for me.  But where and how?

    Recently I heard a senior instructor at Taoist retreat espouse the goals of the Taoist life: health, wealth and longevity.  My thought was then what?  And is that all you got? They have exercises that frankly sound and look silly to my western mind, but if believed and practised, I’m sure you will feel better and live longer.

    BDSM has taught me that to create a continuous stream of desire, you leave when it’s still hot.  As we say ‘always leave them wanting more’.  But that’s a good scenario for play, not for relating.  Your partner gets focused on what’s in your toy bag of tricks and you can easily become the puppet for kinky play.

    A partner said to me once: I share who I am when I’m comfortable they like me.  That stopped me cold as I wondered who did I just like then if that wasn’t the real you?  I know the answer; it’s our Sunday best behavior we all put on.  It’s the courting ritual of mating and fear of rejection crap we all have to wade through, but that false start is limiting.  And then we wonder what happened to the person we first met and liked.  Where did they go?

    My mother taught me to play hard to get.  That way I string along the desire until I get the man with a wedding band.  What Mother didn’t tell me was that I was also trapped in that band. And desire is almost totally lost once the wedding bed becomes a marriage.   For that reason I knew I couldn’t marry someone I had not slept with prior to the legal agreement.  A bad lover is one of the rings of hell in my book.  I can only compare it to country and western music sung by drunk foreigners with bad breath and ugly feet.

    So what are we to do?  Pursue our personal desires is my solution with the expectation that you’ll find an equally hungry partner along the way.  That also fulfils for me, the desire for more answers to my curious mind, more beauty for my hungry eyes and more dance for my soul.  Okay let me make a plug for the ecstatic dance scene for a minute.  It’s a bunch of white folks for the most part cutting loose in semi darkness without judgement about their rhythm and skill.  Very nice once you get the hang of it. Get in your own corner of “don’t care what you look like and just move so it feels good within.”  If you can find a class at a yoga studio go, or better yet turn on your favourite music and create an event yourself.  Invite a friend or two over and really let loose.

    Dig deeper in your soul for the art inside of you and produce it.  We all have some creative talent.  It’s part of the packaging like two ears, lungs, liver etc. we are born that way.  I can’t paint but I can collect beautiful art.  My grammar sucks but I love writing.  I have rhythm but Alvin Alley won’t be calling me for an audition.  I love hosting a beautiful dinner party but Martha Stewart I’m not.  Great philosophical thought makes me wet, but didactic discussions like politics dries up the pussy.  Focus on what stirs you and go do it.  I’ve satisfied a bit of my desire by writing this piece and sharing it with you.  I hope it creates the same desires to fulfil for yourself.

    Image courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • You Need Orgasms

    You Need Orgasms

    We are all born with functioning sexual organs designed to supply natural pleasure for the body.  Some of us get lucky and get both sets, but that has its challenges as well.  Discovery Channel aired a documentary on women’s orgasms.  The scientists gave a woman an MRI while she masturbated and watched her during orgasm light up over eighty sections of the brain, providing it with oxygen and nutrients. That means we feed the brain every time we orgasm.  It makes perfect sense, since we are designed to procreate.  We signal the body to stay healthy, useful, and regenerative, as orgasm is still needed for reproductive purposes.

    An old wives tale goes like this:  If you put a penny in a jar every time you make love during the first year of marriage, then take a penny out of that jar every time you make love for the rest of your marriage, there’ll still be enough money left for the flowers at your funeral. We are designed to fuck.  Our culture has controlled our procreation urges.  We are taught to disapprove anything beyond those created rules.  That’s not healthy for us.

    Our closest genealogical relative is the Bonobo monkey, and they fuck everything all the time and, guess what, they are the most peaceful creatures.  We could learn something from our ancestors.

    We are sensual beings, all desiring the positive elements of our senses:  Food and drink with taste; pleasant floral, musky smells for our noses; art in whatever form of beauty the eyes perceive; music, rhythmic sounds, soft voice, lectures, poetry for the auditory; the written word for the auditory digital; and human touch and other kinesthetic experiences that give us physical pleasure.

    Dacher Keltner, in his book Born To Be Good, teaches us the biological importance of emotional pleasure for the physical body.  His understanding of the common emotions represented across all humans and mammals alike, showed the clear natural values we should give to pleasure.  It is innate to our being …

    Followed finally by the erotic.  This is a learned skill.   Not developed until some level of maturity of the individual.  Many of us don’t reach it till our maternal and paternal duties are over with.  The kids are gone, leaving the bored husband and wife looking at each other wondering, Is this it?  The unfulfilled fantasies come back with a vengeance, and like a bad cold, they won’t release you till they have left your body.

    It’s the way the body signals it’s time for growth.  Fantasy, like dreams, are a way the body communicates a need to you.  Have you ever had a dream that keeps returning?  Does it get louder each time, turning into a nightmare?  Dream research teaches you that you are ignoring something when the dream gets louder.  If, for instance, you are getting chased constantly in your dreams, then you are running from something.  Dreams provide a metaphor to the emotional issues in your life.

    Fantasy represents emotional hunger.  It allows our bodies to come into the yin-yang balance of our natures.  We desire and fantasize about emotional states of pleasure we would like to be in.  The most common in the kink community, because of the size of the population, is the heterosexual male’s desire to be in submission, laying down the burden of making all the decisions.

    I have often thought that women of my generation have been afforded the luxury of choice by taking the easier road.  They cry, “Just tell me to do what I want to do.”  And you know what?  I would have cried that plea too, but I like making decisions.  As with gambling, I don’t always win and the losses are sometimes painful, but I own them all.  And that’s why I’m a Domina that needs an occasional switch opportunity to rest my weary head upon.  I’m the better for having loved and loss.

    Both sexes in all cultures have ways to go in learning how to be comfortable in our alignments.  The Northern European cultures, which threw out the hard liner religious views and have adopted open sexuality and drug use, still boast the lowest crime rates.  You would think we could learn from that.  Our dogmatic religious beliefs have atrophied the brain[1].  And we simply get stuck in stupid.

    [1] Owen AD, Hayward RD, Koenig HG, Steffens DC, Payne ME (2011) Religious Factors and Hippocampal Atrophy in Late Life. PLoS ONE 6(3): e17006. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0017006

     
     
    Namaste,
     
    Phyllis Rawley