Tag: Dildos

  • A Brief 2023 Guide to Dildos and Suction Cup Masturbation Toys

    A Brief 2023 Guide to Dildos and Suction Cup Masturbation Toys

    Sex toys are fun, but they can be quite costly. I’ve had so many friends complain that they can’t really afford any high-end vibrators or Lovense products because of the price. I can only get a dildo or two, they say, but isn’t a dildo kind of…average?

    Quite the contrary; though it might not have the features of some other popular sex toys on the market, the humble dildo is still an excellent piece to use for self-pleasure. Both women and men use them regularly, and the current market provides tons of options for any eager user. In this article, I will go over the most common dildo types. In addition, there will be a brief section on how to use suction cup dildos, since I believe they might be the best entry point for newcomers to self-pleasure devices. 

    Different Dildo Types

    Unlike a vibrator, a dildo doesn’t have different speeds, intensities, options, etc. (There are exceptions, of course; some dildos come with a built-in bullet vibrator that the user can take out). It’s merely a solid item that I need to insert manually to achieve pleasure. But even with such a simple purpose, there is more than one type of dildo out there. 

    Material-Based Dildos

    Dildos can be made out of various materials, and not all of them are beneficial for us. As such, I can classify these toys based on how hard or soft they are. The most common materials for dildos include:

    • Vinyl
    • PVC
    • Rubber
    • Jelly
    • Lucite/Plexiglas
    • Borosilicate Glass
    • Stainless Steel
    • Silicone
    • Wood

    Of these materials, the first four I’ve listed are the ones I always avoid. Sure, dildos made out of PVC or jelly might be cheap, but they are porous, making them difficult to clean. Furthermore, they contain phthalates, materials that are harmful to humans. So, for high-end sexual pleasure AND safety, I always recommend the other five options on the list. 

    Realistic vs. Atypical

    This distinction is fairly simple. A realistic dildo looks like an actual male penis, complete with veins, glans, foreskin (if and where needed), and even testicles. The purpose of these toys is to emulate the real deal as closely as possible.

    On the other end of that spectrum are the atypical dildos. Sometimes, they resemble animal or alien genitalia. Other times, they will simply look like smooth rods ready for entry. Whatever the case may be, they don’t look like a human penis, but are designed to pleasure a woman nonetheless. 

    Suction Cup Dildos

    Possibly my favorite out of them all, suction cup dildos are toys whose base contains — you guessed it — a suction cup. The basic idea behind these toys is that we can use them hands-free. All we need is a flat surface to attach a dildo to and it’s good to go. Other than the suction cup section, these dildos largely resemble other types of toys on this list design-wise. 

    Strap-On Dildos

    Couple play is definitely possible with dildos, and strap-on variants help make that happen. These dildos, when outside of their harness, function like regular, basic sex toys for solo masturbation. However, their base is usually made to fit a harness and to stay there, so that the person wearing it can emulate penetration throughout intercourse. 

    Double-Ended Dildos

    Also known as double-sided, these dildos have a glans tip at each end. The main purpose of these toys is couple play, but I’ve seen more than a few ladies use them for solo pleasure as well. In fact, a double-ended dildo is often flexible enough that it can be used for double penetration. 

    Pack and Play Toys

    Now, a Pack and Play dildo might confuse some new users, considering what it looks like. It’s essentially a mix between a prosthetic and a strap-on. The whole point behind a Pack and Play dildo is that I can wear it under my pants as if it were an actual penis, where it stays “flaccid”. Then, once I decide to have fun with my partner, I pull it out and it gets fully erect and ready to go.

    The main appeal of Pack and Play toys is that they are realistic couple prosthetics, meant to simulate an actual body part while the wearer is out in public. It’s an added layer of kinkiness that provides the user with hours of steamy fun. 

    How to Use a Suction Cup Dildo

    While I have enjoyed every single type of dildo listed above, I always default back to suction cup models. After all, they are the ones that provide me with the most freedom, since I don’t have to hold them all the time during solo play. Of course, I recommend giving every dildo a try and figuring out what works for you. But for now, let’s focus on suction cup dildos.

    Find the Right Surface

    In order to make the dildo stay properly stuck, we first need to find the proper flat surface to attach it to. For example, a floor or a wall with tiny bumps won’t do, since it’s difficult to make a vacuum seal on such a surface. In addition, the surface has to be sturdy enough so it doesn’t break off during the act. As such, I recommend anything with tiles, a nice solid wooden surface, or even a mirror. 

    Start Off Slowly

    There’s no real answer as to where the user needs to stick the dildo first. It can be the wall, the floor, the chair, the mirror, the bathtub, etc. However, the key is not to rush anything. Remember, the dildo is there to simulate a partner’s penis, so treat it as such. 

    Hand-Free Experience

    With the dildo doing most of the work, we have both of our hands free. That’s an advantage during masturbation, since we can use them to stimulate my other erogenous zones. That will enhance the experience and open new doors when it comes to self-pleasure. And speaking of enhancing the experience…

    Experiment With a Partner

    A suction cup dildo is an amazing tool for couples. For example, if we wanted to experience the sensation of double penetration, or just a regular threesome, we can do it with a single partner and a suction toy. Furthermore, both men and women can use the toy while pleasuring the other partner, exploring anal play, or other interests. 

    Unstick Carefully

    OK, this is a common problem with suction cup sex toys. There are times when the dildo just doesn’t come off, no matter how much we tug. However, the key is not to panic. Yanking too hard can either damage the toy or the surface underneath it. The goal is to keep everything intact and to get the toy loose for future usage.

    What I  would normally do in situations like these is get a flat, hard object and slightly lift a section of the base. Really, we only need to get it pried open enough to get some air in, and the toy will unstick itself. I recommend using a credit card, a butter knife, a coin, or even a sturdy spatula. Anything that’s hard enough to move the base but not enough to scrape the material. 

    Proper Cleaning

    Yes, I stress this with every toy, but it’s incredibly vital to keep the sex toys clean. If we don’t take care of our suction dildos, mold can form along the surface, one way or another, and that can harm the ladies who might be allergic. A more serious threat is the bacteria that grow on the dildo that wasn’t cleaned properly after use. These microorganisms can cause various health problems if we reintroduce them to our bodies during our next masturbation session. 

    Dildos: The Final Few Thoughts

    Again, I must stress that just because a dildo doesn’t have the clicks and whistles of other sex toys, it’s still a perfectly fine toy to use. One suction cup dildo, used properly, can enhance the experience of both solo users and partners for a long time.  


    Photo from Shutterstock

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  • 5 Things You Should Know Before Buying a Sex Toy

    5 Things You Should Know Before Buying a Sex Toy

    Have you made the decision to buy your first sex toy? That’s great! Now, where do you get started?

    Sex toys aren’t just limited to vibrators and dildos. There’s a whole plethora of options to explore and chances are that you’ll be coming across some of those for the very first time.

    With all of this diversity, it can be tough to make up your mind.

    To make the right decision, you have to go through a couple of considerations. Here are the five most important things you should definitely know before hitting that “buy” button.

    Sex Toy Materials Are Not Created Equal

    The material that a sex toy is made of is probably the most important factor to examine.

    There’s one critical reason why you should be extra careful – as of now, the sex toy market is NOT regulated. This means there are no set standards concerning the safety of materials. As a result, some low quality products could feature compounds and chemicals deemed dangerous.

    Looking for a “body safe” label is the first thing you’ll have to do. Even if the label is there, make sure that the material itself is actually body safe before you add a toy to your bedroom fun repertoire.

    Good sex toy materials are non-porous. They don’t harbor bacteria and they’re very easy to clean and sanitize. Some such materials include medical-grade silicone, glass and metal. Jelly and PVC, on the other hand, are highly porous and should be avoided.

    Other good materials are plastics and rubbers but these need to be phthalate-free. Phthalates are considered potential carcinogens, which is why you don’t want them coming anywhere close to your body.

    Two other possible materials you may come across are TPE and TPR. These are both types of plastic that are phthalate-free. There have been, however, discussions about the quality of these materials. While they are generally considered safe enough, TPE and TPR are porous. If you can afford it, do opt for something a bit more expensive and safer.

    Bigger Isn’t Always Better

    Whether you’re looking at g-spot stimulators or dildos that cum, do understand one very important thing – bigger isn’t always better in the world of sex toys.

    As a beginner, you could be drawn to girthy and unnaturally big toys.

    The problem with those is that they’re not made of human flesh. As a result, some toys will be stiffer and less flexible.

    People who don’t have experience with sex toys could find bigger items unpleasant or even painful. Even lube wouldn’t be enough to rectify the situation.

    The best approach is to start out small. Get yourself a smaller vibrator and a dildo with realistic dimensions. These will be some of the most versatile sex toys in your collection. As you become more accustomed to those, you can move on to exploring larger items.

    In the world of sex toys, girth tends to be more important than length. A long sex toy may be a good idea because you’ll find it easier to grip. A very thick toy, on the other hand, may be completely unusable.

    Know Your Pleasure Spot

    A sex toy doesn’t have to look realistic in order to give you the experience of a lifetime.

    Rather, you should focus on the right kind of stimulation.

    To do so, you’ll need to focus on a bit of self-exploration.

    Just like it plays a role in partnered sex, solo play can also direct you towards the right kind of sex toy for your needs.

    How do you usually orgasm? Do you need just intense clitoral stimulation? Or maybe you need both clitoral and internal vaginal (G-spot) stimulation? How about anal play?

    Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes. Some can stimulate two or even more spots at the same time. Some offer very concentrated and targeted pulsations/vibrations for a quick orgasm. Others feature multiple settings to give you an array of experiences.

    So, don’t hurry and get a vibrator just because all of your friends have one. A small bullet vibrator that focuses all of the pulsations on the clitoris could be much more satisfactory.

    Ease of Cleaning

    It’s also important to talk about an aspect of owning a sex toy that isn’t necessarily sexy.

    Cleaning your toys is obviously tedious but it’s imperative to keep yourself safe and healthy. You should never leave a toy as-is after use. Uncleaned sex toys will grow bacteria on the surface, even if they’re made from a non-porous material.

    Sex toy cleaning becomes even more important if you share such items with somebody else or if you use one and the same toy for both vaginal and anal stimulation.

    The more textured and curved a sex toy is, the more difficult it will be to clean thoroughly. In addition, some types of sex toys shouldn’t be submerged in water because their mechanism will get damaged.

    Always check the care instructions before buying a specific type of toy. Some can just be sprayed with a sex toy cleaning solution and wiped clean. Others will require a bit more effort to remain in pristine condition. If you’re not that meticulous about sanitization, you should opt for an item that’s easy to clean.

    The Frequency of Use Determines Some Features

    How often will you use your toy?

    Knowing the frequency of sexy times will enable the selection of some additional settings and functionalities.

    For a start, a rechargeable sex toy is a good idea if you don’t want to buy new batteries every week. There are still old-school sex toys with a battery compartment. The problem is that regular batteries make the item heavier and they also increase the risk of running out of steam in the middle of a sexy session.

    A corded toy is also not an option (although some such toys do still exist). The cord limits the use of the item, it could get in the way and it completely eliminates the possibility to have more fun.

    As you can see, practical considerations are just as important as determining the type of toy that would work well for you. Unfortunately, many people don’t take the time to think about these essentials. As a result, they end up buying a toy that will be used only a couple of times before becoming forgotten.

    Final Verdict: Determine What Matters the Most to You

    No two people have the exact same needs when it comes to convenience and sexual gratification.

    To choose the right sex toy, start out with a few key considerations. This way, you’ll narrow down the range of possibilities significantly. Once you do that, you can focus on additional features and even some non-essential extras that will help you differentiate between a couple of choices you like.

    A final thing to remember is that the price should not be the primary factor (although it’s a good idea to set some budget). Very often, cheap products end up costing you a lot more in the long-run than a well-made but more expensive toy.

    If you come across an offer that’s too good to be true, it probably is. Do your research and use online resources to do a bit of comparison. When you acquaint yourself with the market, you’ll find it much easier to spot quality.


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  • 4 Tips for Using a Strap-On Dildo on Your Boy Toy

    4 Tips for Using a Strap-On Dildo on Your Boy Toy

    There are lots of couples that want to spice things up when it comes to their sex lives and doing the same thing time after time can become a bore to them. If you are looking for ways to make your sex life more exciting and liberating, one of the things you can do is consider the use of a strap on dildo on your boy toy.

    This is something that more and more couples are experimenting with, and many couples get immense pleasure and excitement out of trying out new moves and experiments such as this during sex. This is something that can take the excitement to a whole new level for both parties, which is why it is something that is well worth trying if you want to enjoy a truly unique and liberating experience.

    Some Tips To Help

    If you are considering using a strap-on dildo on your boy toy, there are a number of tips that can help to make the process far easier and more fun for both of you. This includes:

    Discuss With Your Beau

    If neither of you have ever experimented in this way before, make sure you discuss it with your beau to ensure he is happy with the whole situation and willing to give it a go. The last thing you want to do is surprise him when you are getting intimate, as he will most likely go into a state of shock and run for the hills.

    Use Suitable Lube

    You should make sure you do not skimp on the lube if you are planning to use a strap-on during sex with your boy toy. You need to make sure you use the right lube based on the strap-on your purchase so make sure you double check before you make your purchase.

    Don’t Rush Things

    Again, if you are both new to this – or if he is new to it – don’t be tempted to rush things. Make sure you check that he is comfortable with what is happening every steps of the way, as otherwise it will ruin the experience for both of you. Just take things slowly and make sure you communicate and get feedback to determine how comfortable he is.

    Use A Condom

    It is also advisable to use a condom on your strap-on, and this is for a couple of reasons. First off, it will help to make the experience more comfortable for your boy toy, which is good news for both of you. Second, it means that you won’t have to worry about scrubbing the strap-on down afterward, as a condom will make the cleaning process far easier.

    A New Twist On Your Sex Life

    If you want to put a new twist on your sex life, this could be the ideal solution as long as it is something that you are both willing and open to try. You can then both look forward to a unique experience.


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  • Are vibrators killing your pleasure?

    Are vibrators killing your pleasure?

    If you’ve seen my talks at Sexpo, you’ll know I warn ladies in particular, about the dangers of overusing vibrators.

    So I wanted to use this week’s blog to explain why!

    But before I tell you how vibrators kill you pleasure, let’s looks at how the vibrator came about shall we?

    Would you believe the vibrator was actually a household appliance – the fifth in fact, to be electrified.

    In the 1800’s, women were being diagnoses with ‘hysteria’, which showed up in the form of erratic behaviour.

    Today we have different names for ‘hysteria’ such as PMS, road-rage, downright bitchiness!

    And in order to treat this very serious ailment, women would line up at the doctors for a clitoral massage to help ease them of their woes.

    Now as you can imagine – women grew quite fond of this treatment!

    Fast-forward to 1899 and one smart chap invented a device that women could take home and service themselves.

    Thus, the vibrator was born.

    Advertisements started popping up in women’s publications, with such taglines as “Vibrate your body and make it well,” “Take the edge off things,” “Nature’s own cure-all” and “Magic power… will make you feel like a new person.”

    These ads made no mention of sex, orgasms, or even ‘hysteria’ – the so-called ‘disease’ for which vibrators were said to cure.

    Now there is no arguing that sex toys – such as vibrators – can be fun and bring a lot of spice to the bedroom.

    But before you arm yourself with a cache of vibrators please consider what I am about to say, extremely carefully…

    Overuse of vibrators can actually desensitise your special bits.

    If you consider a tongue, a finger or a penis; they cannot go near as hard and fast as a vibrator!

    This is why women who use them a lot, often have trouble orgasming with their partner.

    You see, the more stimulation you get to reach orgasm, the more you need.

    So over time you sensitivity – the very same sensitivity that will open you up to deep orgasmic pleasure – is lost.

    This is why vibrators can be such a pleasure killer!

    What you also need to consider is that most vibrators only focus on your clitoris, and sometimes other regions of your genitals like your G-spot.

    Yet the whole body can be a pleasure zone, if you take the time to wake it up.

    And when you do invest time in increasing your sensitivity as opposed to decreasing your sensitivity (which you do when you use a vibrator) that’s when you’re going to start to experience those full body orgasms; orgasms you feel throughout your entire body as opposed to just being confined to your genitals.

    But I’ve already lost sensation, what now?

    No sweat!

    Get yourself a Jade Egg. 

    The Jade Egg is designed to awaken the tissue in your vaginal canal so you start to feel more pleasure inside the vagina.

    Even if you don’t use a vibrator much, most women’s vaginal canal’s are quite numb, hence why they don’t experience G-spot and cervical orgasms.

    Less really is more when it comes to pleasure.

    You want to be so sensitive that someone blowing on your skin is enough to arouse you into ecstasy!

    Personally I do NOT use vibrators for this very reason.

    I want my entire body to be as sensitive as possible, because that’s where we open ourselves up to experiencing the most pleasure.

    All of that said, if you’re not yet willing to trade in your vibrators for a Jade Egg, then make sure your toy box does NOT contain anything with phthalates in them.

    Phthalates are carcinogens.

    You find them in those squishy, jellylike dildos – the really cheap ones.

    They’re toxic!

    They leech chemicals into one of the most absorptive place in our body.

    If you have any toys like that, please throw them out.

    NOW!!!!!!

    Studies have even linked them to cancer.

    What you want are toys that are non porous, and made of materials such as silicon, glass or stainless steel.

    Or just get yourself a Jade Egg and enjoy the deliciousness of deep vaginal orgasmic bliss!


    This article has been republished with permission from Tamara Mercieca

    Please visit Tamara’s website  to view the original post and more of her works.


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