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Tag: Colin Richards

  • Women Eroticism & Massage

    Women Eroticism & Massage

    Has something shifted in the female psyche!

    I have been working as a sensual masseur and sex mentor for nearly 10 years and for most of that time it has been traditionally men who have discovered the pleasure of receiving a professional therapeutic/sensual massage. For men, it is an opportunity to have an experience that is not  boundaried by morality or appropriateness but allows, in fact encourages, intimate touch, arousal and orgasm. Popular opinion may have it that men are just looking for a quick turn on & climax when having an erotic massage but in reality many men seeking this experience do so because, quite simply, they love feeling the intimacy of touch and to be able to be cared for unconditionally for an hour or so with no judgement hindering their arousal.

    One might ask if this is the same for the women?  You would think so and to some degree, enjoying intimate caring touch is a part of the pleasure for women when taking a sensual massage but after giving well over 100 massages to women I can confidently say that this motivation is firmly shared with a need to release a far more carnal energy, an energy that many women are forced to suppress. I have seen many times with my female clients that bubbling below the gentle demure veneer of the ex convent girl and the efficient professional front of businesswomen or the shielded girl who presents a traditional valued  lifestyle, lies a very powerful sexual force screaming to be released.

    The common theme that most women give me when booking a massage is that the lifestyle they come from or are currently within is not providing them with the physical satisfaction that they desire and often fantasise about. Nature has embedded within the female psyche the need to feel desired, adored and wanted. To my mind, this is not a display of insecurity but more of a very clever strategy of nature. A behavior deeply embedded in all women to ensure that the male she chooses can prove his prowess and assertiveness, his desire and need for her, thus proving his ability to provide her with both a healthy genetic energy as well as be a strong protector and provider for her and her potential offspring.

    In Victorian times, this suppression of female sexual desire and the often resulting explosion of passion and sexual energy was diagnosed as a mental disorder and considered as a sexual dysfunction. Known as Hysteria it was often “cured”  by “qualified” doctors who “administered” massage of the clitoris (by hand or vibrator) to bring on a release of the disorder by achieving orgasm! Ironically this interpretation although misguided was not that far of the mark in that a women who is sexually suppressed will often fantasise and masturbate to release her anxiety. Fortunately, today women do not need to step into a cold insensitive consulting room to be administered by a crusty old medic. Today, they can explore and experience their natural desires in a safe empathetic environment that encourages and supports whatever sexual expression they want to experience and more and more women are doing this.

    If I had to select 5 words to embody the effects of the sensual massage I give to men they would be, arousing, caring, supportive, honouring, bonding. The words I would use to describe the experience of the female enjoying the same massage would be, initially trusting and caring but quickly it shifts to arousing, erotic, explorative, continuous, adventurous, releasing, multi-orgasmic and explosive and finally totally repleted …  5 words are not enough!

    Below are some of the reasons my female clients have given for wanting to enjoy a sensual massage.

    • I enjoy regular massage, to have my muscles worked professionally but I also want to experience intimate touch so that I can connect with the deeper primal sensual part of myself
    • I want to experience a sensual massage in “50 Shades of Grey” manner where the masseur is in complete control and I can just lay back and enjoy his authority with the knowledge that I am ultimately in control of all that takes place. (This style does not include any BDSM or role play but incorporates assertive massage and some physical body lifting as well as strong arousal techniques. Note: This style of massage can only be given to those with average to slim physiques)
    • I like to enjoy the firm yet tender touch of a man without the need to perform or give back sexually
    • I enjoy receiving arousal and ultimate orgasm through gentle prolonged intimate touch rather than penetrative intercourse
    • I have a loss of libido
    • I have a fear of intimacy and am embarrassed about my body but still want to enjoy sensual arousal
    • I experience painful intercourse, orgasmic dysfunction
    • I am insecure and sexual inexperienced and want to learn more about my sexuality as well as how to give excellent sensual arousal to my partners
    • I am a single women, who is happy to not be in a relationship and although my sex life is good, I miss the intimacy and tender touch that a relationship brings.
    • I believe that it is right to be able to experience arousal and orgasm without commitment and responsibilities of a relationship.
    • I want to explore orgasm as I have heard that there are multiple ways a female can achieve this.
    • I am in a marriage/partnership where most else is good but the sex and intimacy has declined and I need to receive intimate attention within a safe professional therapeutic environment that is discreet and private that will not challenge my current situation

    Is this a growing trend?

    Without a doubt, women are becoming far more in touch with their sexual energies and at last becoming less influenced by social and religious constraints that dictate how they should conduct themselves sexually. Almost all the female clients I have seen have come to me for their first ever sensual massage and almost all of them say after that they had wished it had not taken them so long to take the step.

    The female sexual dynamic is enormously strong, the urge to procreate and maintain the species is a fundamental role that every women is indentured from birth. With this goes the need for intimacy and caring approving touch, an aspect which sadly can often become lacking in longer term relationships so that if the sex stops, so does the physical intimacy.

    Having a sensual massage from a professional masseur allows the female to enjoy this totally natural need but without fear of judgement, expectation even reprisal.

    Listen to a brief voice interview I gave recently on female sexual behaviour compared to male sexual behaviour.

    To read more on the Kama Sutra Massage For Women CLICK HERE
    To book the Kama Sutra Massage  for Women with Colin CLICK HERE

    This article has been republished with permission from Colin Richards.
    Please visit Colin Richards at www.massage33.com/www.intimacymatters.co.uk  to view original post and more of Colin’s works.

    Image courtesy of Colin Richards
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  • Oohhhh … Tantric Sexual Massages

    Oohhhh … Tantric Sexual Massages

    It frustrates me that when it comes to carnal desire. I so often hear people charge men of only being interested in one thing, Sex! But this is so not true. Yes men do love to have penetrative sex; its primal; its immensely satisfying when good and ultimately, it can secure our genetic line and because of this it is clearly what biologically we as men are programmed to enjoy as often as possible and with as many (females) as possible.  However, what many don’t appreciate—and I include many men in this—is that most men also enjoy and actually need the physical intimate touch that come with the sex as much as the sex itself.  In fact, many men find it difficult to perform as confidently as they want to if they do not feel an intimate connection with their partner, be it a female or male.

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    There is no doubt in my mind that the adage “women have a higher threshold of pain than men” is correct, childbirth makes this necessary but I would go on to say that it appears to me that men have a “lower threshold of pleasure than women”. I have to date, given over 5,000 sensual massages to men and some 200 to women and I can confidently say that from my experience in the arousal states, male bodies generally react and get aroused faster to touch than female bodies.

    With the male body I find that it is usually after only 5 to 10 minutes into the massage and often see the clear evidence of arousal. Gentle moans or movements of the body and of course a developing erection is a clear sign and as the massage unfolds, the man will become even more aroused and reactive. These bodily reactions to my touch are immediate when I stroke his back, scratch my nails on his bum or inner thighs or even simply massage his scalp, all of this will make him spontaneously respond with pleasurable sounds or movement. But I believe that there is far more to this than just sexual arousal.

    It is clear to me that as the massage unfolds and as my touch stimulates the skin’s sensory nerve endings, triggering the Pituitary gland to release Oxytocin, the hormone cutely called by some, “the love hormone”, the man experiences arousal and erection is usually the result. What I have also noticed is that arousal takes place and so manifests his need to create and intimate connection with me.  This may simply be a hand touching my thigh, arm or body or somewhere even more intimate. So I figure that similar in relevance to nature programming pain thresholds to be higher for women to be able to endure childbirth, that this need and desire in men for intimate (reciprocal) touch has also been programmed into the male physiology and psychology for a similar reason.  No, his hand reaching out to touch me should not be viewed simply as a predatory sexual approach but more of a genuine desire for connection and to receive approval and acceptance from another.

    Most men know that to become completely and fully aroused, most need to feel connected, entitled and wanted of by the other person, be it female or male.  Having his own touch welcomed and acknowledged and then reciprocated, particularly when received and given to sensitive and genital areas (the scrotum, perineum, anus) a man unconsciously feels he can trust and feel safe and it is this feeling of safety that triggers his nervous system slide from the fight or flight mode to the rest and relax mode thus removing anxiety, allowing total relaxation of the muscles and mood and consequently give him maximum arousal.

    My experience when giving male-to-male massage is that it is this dynamic of intimate connection between men that is as pleasurable as the arousal and eventual orgasm itself. Conversely, when I give sensual massage to female clients after an initial quiet period, I find many women explode into an almost sexual abandonment where they let go completely of themselves to the erotic nature of the massage. For example, in the male to male massage, the effect of cupping and gently stroking his balls and scrotum produces in the receiver not an erotic response but more of a bonding, caring and almost paternal emotion. Tritely, I often say that to test my theory about what men really want, I should stand in Trafalgar Square with a sign offering all the men there two options a) the option of having either a 5 minute fuck or b) to enjoy a 90 minute full body sensual massage that would of course, include and orgasm by hand but not include any penetrative sex. I truly believe that the majority of men, certainly those over the age of 25, would opt for option b!

    Demure Debutante to Erotic: The Female Time Bomb

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    When I give a sensual massage to a female client, the dynamic of the massage is quite different. Initially, the response to my touch is much slower and more sedated, there is very little display of movement or sound. In fact, the female who does immediately display any response is the exception. However, it is after about 30 minutes that I begin to see quite quickly, the effects of my touch and maybe some movement and moans. But when I start the more erotic touch genital stimulation that is when I see and feel what I call the female “Flip” as the demure deb explodes into the erotic animal. Light sighs become groans of pleasure, gentle movements becomes trashing and straining of limbs and the gentle response to my intimate touch become grabbing and pulling as her energy and attention become rooted in her erotic journey.   Again, this is proof of the effect of the oxytocin at work. It causes an initial arousal process but when released into the female body it creates at first a tempered effect, a kind of wariness and an “I like of what you are doing but let me check you out first” feeling, it is only when this passes and when the touch has been assessed and accepted that the decorum deserts, reticence rolls away and is replaced by a full-on primal sexual reaction.

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    Don’t let it ever be said that women are less sexual than men. If you believe it is men who hold the erotic trump card, you will be wrong. It has to be said that after giving some 200 sensual massages to women, I am still in awe of this experience. Beware guys! Today’s female is changing fast. No longer is it the prerogative of men to be the sexual overseer and it’s not just the young nubile female of the 21st century who is taking control and expressing her deeper desires but in my experience, it is the ladies who are over 35 years old who are the powerhouses of sexual energy. Like a ready time bomb; once the female who has been historically suppressed by cultural, religious or simply social controls lets these fall away, what is revealed is her womanhood in its true glory. But this is not new, only our times and understanding of the female sexuality have changed. During the Victorian era more than 100 years ago; female sexual desire in particular, was just as apparent. The women in the 1850s felt no less sexual desire as a woman of today, but today we understand that for her arousal, orgasm and sexual satisfaction is an essential part of being a female human being. It is not a sign of mental disorder; it is not an indication of being morally corrupt or sacrilegious. It is a simply sign of being a woman and men should embrace and encourage this without question and both parties to enjoy the results.

    So go for it girls, reclaim your sexual territory but remember to let the men enjoy being the intimate animals for a while. Given them some tenderness, caress, stroke and care for them and then in return, they will give you all you want in bundles (as long as you show them you want it).

    Colin Richards www.massage33.com / www.intimacymatters.co.uk
    If you have yet to watch the videos, you can view them at https://vimeo.com/95166258 and https://vimeo.com/94660900.

    Image courtesy of Shutterstock
    Video courtesy of www.massage33.com
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