My views towards sex have shifted and grown throughout the years. I’ve been very interested in sex since I hit my teenage years. Sex is powerful – the ways in which people use that power varies greatly.
Sex for myself when I was young was often used as a test of my worth, which is a very dangerous place to find yourself in. As I’ve matured, I’ve grown to respect the complexities of sex. Animals have sex, it’s biology, it’s part of their natural instinct. We, however are the only ones to have an erotic life. Sex has been transformed by the human imagination.
Desire is what sets us apart from all other creatures on earth. We crave to be understood, to be loved, to be cared for but the only way this can happen is to make ourselves vulnerable to our partner(s). As an escort, my sexuality has become my livelihood and through my work, I’ve figured out what all my clients have in common – A craving for intimacy and connection.
My Favorite Fetishes
So I am queer and interestingly enough, my fetishes change depending on who I’m playing with. Younger me was very confused about what “good” sex was, I wasn’t familiar with what I liked and unfortunately a lot of the men I had sex with didn’t care to find out what turned me on either. I found I put my partners’ needs before my own and this is what shaped my desire to be worshipped.
With men, my favourite fetish play is body worship, face sitting, foot fetish, human furniture, orgasm control, trampling, tease and denial and tickling! I’d have to say the thought of a man literally worshipping me is my ultimate turn on.
However with women, I find I’m a lot more submissive and appreciate allowing my partner to use me however they wish!
How Adding Fetish Play Spices Things Up
I find fetish play allows a deeper understanding of your partners’ desires both emotionally and physically., With any kind of kink or fetish, it demands a level of communication that should always be present during sexual play. These skills transfer to your relationships outside of the bedroom.
Ways To Introduce Kink or Fetish Into Sex
This is something that’s taken me years to learn and it’s my best piece of advice for any kind of daunting communication. You can never control how someone will react, you can only control how you communicate. Talking to a partner about your kink/fetish can seem scary but remember this, you are opening yourself up and allowing your partner to understand you better!
I like to check in regularly with my partner, you’d be surprised how much you can continue to learn about one another by creating a safe space to talk. You might even find out your partner has been wanting to explore the same things but has felt too nervous to bring it up!
Do’s & Don’ts To Follow
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.
Don’t be afraid to really talk through all the nitty gritty details so you’re on the same page about boundaries and what you both feel comfortable with.
Respect the notion that consent can be taken away mid-play, this is especially important with kink/fetish.
Check in before, during and after play! It’s okay if things weren’t exactly as you expected, fetish is all about exploration. Keep it fun and safe!
Piper Quinn – I am a Sydney based independent escort, queer, vegan, writer and advocate. Passionate about sexual education, social justice and strength through vulnerability.
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Images courtesy of Piper Quinn
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