I love companionship. For me, it’s one of the most self-indulgent things you can treat yourself to. It’s always a thrill to look forward to a new meet, as there are so many possibilities. When I’m with a client, I truly feel as if they’re treating themselves – between the whisky, cheeseboards, and hum of excitement in the air, it feels like we’re both getting the worlds best present. I love being able to share myself and my passions with another, and feel them reciprocated with the same fervor. I’ve always lived in the moment, and there’s a certain kind of exhilaration in giving yourself entirely to a stranger.
Similarly, I feel my clients shrug off the stresses of the world with me while they step into a fantasy where nothing matters except the next moment together. It really does feel like we’re outside of time, often in a world all of our own – it’s hypnotic, in a way. I’m grateful every day to be able to explore this side of myself with those who place their trust so deeply in me.
How I Got Interested In Fetishes
My interests in fetishes actually started with fandom and fan fiction! I remember huddling under my blankets at night, reading novels about my favourite characters – except all of a sudden, they would be tying each other up, and I was reacting in ways I never thought possible.
I only started exploring the BDSM community when I was 20 when one of my work friends invited me to a night out, and my interest spiralled from there. My first encounter felt like I had stepped into the fantasy world of my dreams! I’m actually still in contact with the first man who ever spanked me, and to this day, he’s constantly teaching me new things.
I ended up offering pro submission work, given that I enjoyed it so much, and as I attended skillshares, my hard skills increased to the level that I began offering pro domme work alongside it. These days, I tend to switch (someone who both submits and dominates people) fairly evenly, with a particular love of spanking, Shibari, needle play, wax play, and fisting. I’ve previously co-presented educational workshops about Shibari at Sexpo in 2019, and was lucky enough to tutor under one of Australia’s best needle play mentors a few years ago.
What Makes Me An Ideal Companion To Explore Your Fetishes With
I think the most important thing for any companion, kink or vanilla, is to keep an open mind about everything! I’ve always approached life with a “try everything once” philosophy, and I carry over that same line of thinking to my kink exploration. There have been plenty of times clients have approached me with fetishes I know nothing about, and I’ve had a ball exploring it with them!
It’s important to have open and honest communication between you both, including disclosing any triggers, past injuries, and level of experience, as well as what you’re hoping to get out of the play; there’s a huge difference between a rhythmic meditative flogging, and a flogging that’s designed to break skin and bruise!
I would also consider myself a very curious person, so when I am approached with a new fetish request, I happily spend hours researching it – including any safety aspects I might need to consider.
Ideal Duration To Explore Fetishes Together
This is so highly dependent on the fetish, and what you’re hoping to achieve during the session. For newbies, I tend to recommend around three hours, to cover important negotiation time, slow introduction, allow plenty of time for feedback and questioning, and plenty of aftercare at the end! I’ve given light spankings in 30 minutes, and I’ve done a needle session for four hours.
I find multi day sessions to be too strenuous when it comes to intense kink, although I know some providers who excel at them, but I simply find staying in the headspace for that long far too taxing on both of us! As a general rule, I suggest between 2-4 hours to explore fetish and kink with me. When we play, we release some really powerful chemicals – adrenaline and endorphins flood our body, so it’s important to factor in time at the end to come back to earth, reassure each other that everything was okay, and reflect on the session at the end.
Some sessions also involve a lot of cleanup too – rope takes time to untie, sploshing means the floors need to be mopped, and needle play means that wounds need to be tended to. It’s certainly not something I would do in a 15 minute lunchtime quickie.
How Do You Calm Someone Who Is Nervous?
I’ve actually never had this problem! Is that bad of me? I think booking any session, there’s always going to be some nerves, but I’ve never found anyone to be overly shy upon meeting me. Usually, they’re full of enthusiasm to finally live out their fantasy!
I tend to write a lot about BDSM on my blog, which probably helps – explaining the fetish beforehand through the lens of personal experience tends to quell any nervous butterflies. I’ve always had quite a big personality, and my genuine excitement to meet new people spills over into any meeting, so I think it’s quite hard for anyone not to be swept up in that and be equally as excited. Enthusiasm is infectious, after all.
Follow These Rules During Our Time Together
There would be no consent without boundaries – your power to say yes only lies in your ability to say no. I pre negotiate each individual session over text, and again at the start of the session, but I have a few ground rules: no hardsports, nothing that impacts on my safety, and nothing illegal.
Additionally, if you don’t have any boundaries of your own, I’ll feel uneasy playing with you and will likely cancel. My favourite clients are those who listen to my boundaries, honor my space, and openly communicate their own. Nothing is worse than calling a client a name mid session, only to have them burst into tears and end the session.
Kristen Jade – An Australian escort, pro kinkster, and content creator. She has been described as an “unrepentant brat” and refuses to take life too seriously. On her off days, you’ll find her cuddling up with her two cats and getting her ass kicked in video games. She has been a sex worker for six years and a BDSM educator for three, as well as touring the Shibari performance circuit across Australia and being invited to sexuality retreats. You’ll often find her travelling interstate, fuelled by passion and desire to explore the unknown.
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Kristen resides in Sydney, but will be in Melbourne 4-8 May, Canberra 22-27 May, and Hobart 8-12 of June. She has plans to visit Brisbane, Darwin, and Perth later in the year. In the meantime, she regularly releases porn on her ManyVids, as well as writing on her blog at www.kristenjadeaus.com/blog
Article images courtesy of Kristen Jade
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