Connect with us

How To Avoid Feeling Nervous Before Sex

Sex Ed

How To Avoid Feeling Nervous Before Sex


My name is Winnie Elle. I’m a full service Sex Worker based in the United States. My job has taken me from the coasts of California to the Her Majesty’s United Kingdom. Sex, much like in the name, is my profession. I am very open with myself and my subsequent views on sex. I view it as a very natural and necessary part of the human experience. I understand that for so many people, it’s taboo and uncomfortable but many of us crave sexual intimacy and that’s okay.

Does Being Nervous Affect Sexual Performance?

It’s very natural to feel nervous in the moments leading up to sex. Am I attracted to them, are they attracted to me? Will it be good? Will I please them? Will they find me desirable once we shed our clothes? There is a lot that can run through our brains that could cause us to feel uneasy before we do the dirty deed. It’s normal. I feel it all the time.

Honestly, once your eyes meet, and your skin becomes acquainted with theirs, the fear falls away. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments where you can be pulled out of your headspace and the anxiety can set back in. But if you and your partner have good chemistry and patience, falling back into each other comes with ease.

Some Reasons Men Feel Nervous Before Sex

One of the biggest reasons men have had reservations with me is the expectations of sexual satisfaction. What are they used to? Have they been with someone more endowed/experienced than me? Will my sexual preferences scare them off? How will they react when I ask for X?

Each body is a different machine. Pressing the same order of buttons may not yield similar results. It’s a nerve wracking and exhilarating experience to be with someone new. It’s best to be as open as you can with your needs and boundaries so that you both can enjoy good sex.

Calming The Nerves Of Your Sexual Partner

When it comes to calming the nerves of a new sexual partner, I like to physically give them space. Some people are not fond of the hollywood experience of ripping each others clothes off and melting into a carnal fantasy. It helps to have relaxing conversations and to share a few laughs. A smile is a powerful thing.

I try and pay close attention to their body language to get a feel for their level of comfort. As they begin to relax, I will sit next to them and begin to caress them. All while carrying a conversation, I would undress them and the rest is magic.

Tips To Enjoy Sex

There is no one way to get into the zone for sex. Some need to be talked to, some need thorough foreplay, some need a stern hand and sharp tongue. What is most important is being sure that this person is someone you want to engage with and vice versa. Being sure you both want each other takes so much of the uncertainty away.

Beyond that, remember that sex is fun. It’s fun! Try not to take yourself so seriously that you forget the joy in getting tangled up in the person in front of you.

Follow Winnie Elle on


Twitter: @Wondrous_Winnie


In the Spring of 2020 I will be moving back to my hometown of Los Angeles! For the new year I am offering a 6 hour Fly Me To You promotion for 5k (airfare and lodgings included)

Images courtesy of Winnie Elle

Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at!

Winnie Elle

My name is Winnie Elle. I'm a full service Sex Worker Based in the united states. My job has taken me from the coasts of California to the Her Majesty's United Kingdom. Sex, much like in the name, is my profession.


More in Sex Ed

To Top