I’ve been a sex worker for three years now (the first year I’ve worked as an erotic masseuse only). I think it’s a great job that gives a lot of nice opportunities and has many advantages. I love meeting new people and visiting new places. It’s a very exciting and satisfying job for me. Actually it’s the best job I have ever had.
Working as an escort can be empowering too in many ways and for many women, it can be a way to change their lives for better. However – just like in any other work – you should like what you do. Otherwise it will not be a good job for you.
What I’ve Learnt After 3 Years In The Industry
In October, it’s been three years since I started working as a masseuse and escort. During this time I’ve learned a lot about the industry and people in it. For example, I’ve learned that the industry is more diverse than I could imagine. Before I started working, I thought that you have to be a classic beauty to work and to have clients. Now I see that girls of every type, every age, every size will find their group of admirers. Every girl is different, every girl has something else to offer and that is great.
Another thing that I’ve learned is that the SW community is really amazing. I discovered this after joining Twitter actually. I found out that there are many inspiring providers and clients that share their experiences, talk openly about SW subjects, that support each other and are super super kind to each other. That really surprised me. Being in touch with other sex workers is important. It’s good to have colleagues who have similar job and experiences as you.
And the last thing I’d like to mention – surprisingly, sex work is not all about sex. Clients don’t always meet an escort just to have sex. Many clients (at least from my experience) meet girls mainly to spend the nice time together – go for holidays or have a weekend getaway, talk, go out, be close, hug and kiss a lot and sex is just a nice addition. I was surprised how many men want to meet me just to talk and to have someone that listens to them, that pays attention, that cares about them. Sex is not the only need that you can fulfill while meeting an escort.
Things I Wished I Knew Before Going Into Sex Work
When I started working, I didn’t know a lot about the SW. I wish I had someone to tell me to be more brave and assertive. And maybe someone who would warn me about all the mean things some clients might do, especially when you’re new to the industry (trying to lower prices, trying to make you lose your confidence and doubt about yourself, insisting on having some services done, although you don’t want to do them etc.)
That would have been easier for me just to ignore those clients, if I knew that their behaviours are standard for this type of “clients” and that they have nothing to do with me personally. Anyway, bad clients are a tiny minority. Most of the men are wise, caring, supporting gentlemen who want you to get better, earn better and be happier.
What Should The Industry Improve On?
Sadly, there are still some people in the industry who don’t understand that we are stronger if we stand together. I’ve seen some sex workers who judge other girls for no big reason. I’ve seen some sex workers who are jealous and think they have to fight with each other to get clients and get money.
It’s sad that in a SW community that has many natural difficulties just because of the work that we do, there are still some people who make it harder for the others. I wish things like these can change and I hope people like these can change.
Biggest Misconceptions About Sex Work Today
Although the sex work existed since always, there are still many misconceptions about it. I think it’s mainly because there’s still a sex taboo in us. People are shy or afraid to talk about sex. They still have problems with their own sexuality. They still perceive having sex or masturbation as something they should be embarrassed about.
If people are afraid to talk about sex, they are just terrified to talk about the paid sex. And when they don’t talk about it, they have no opportunity to exchange information and evaluate their knowledge. That way, the stereotypes spread much faster than actual knowledge about sex work. That way we still have those huge misconceptions that everyone thinks or hears from time to time. Let me just show you a tip of an iceberg.
- Escort girls do the job because they are not smart enough or qualified enough to do any other work.
WRONG Many escorts do the job because they chose to do it. They’ve had some previous jobs (often government jobs or jobs where you need high qualifications and good education or often they had their own businesses) but after a while they decided that sex work is better for them and that is the work that they want to do for now or for life. Of course, there are women who have difficult life situations and offering sex for money is something that helps them live, something they don’t necessarily like, but they choose to do it, because they have no better alternative. But that is definitely not the case for all of us.
- Sex work = easy job, easy money.
Many people think that sex work is an easy work, that you don’t have to know anything, you don’t need any skills and that you basically do nothing and earn a lot of money. That is of course not true. Sex work is not an easy work. Working with people requires a lot of dedication, understanding and empathy. Sex work is a physical work, for which you should have good physical abilities. And it’s an intellectual work too – you must know how to advertise, how to run your business, how to organize your schedule and bookings, you must know how much costs you can afford and how much you’ll be able to earn. You must organize your tours, your photo shoots. You must take care of your website, social media, emails everyday. And after doing all this, you just clear your mind and go for a date and give the client the best experience he can imagine. Working as an escort requires knowledge in many fields. Especially when you do something that needs some special skills, for example massages, BDSM services or when you are focused on working with disabled clients. If you’re an escort, you must be strong mentally, you must be smart, you must be hardworking and you have to be well organized just like every other freelancer. Being an escort is not only laying on soft pillows all day and waiting for a client to come as some people seem to think.
Of course I’m not trying to say here that the work is super hard or not rewarding. If you like what you do – it’s nice, satisfying and easier. But just not as easy as people think.
- Being a sex work is something bad.
This is the most common misconception that makes sex workers stigmatised. I know that everyone has their own morality, but I think some things are just bad or good in nature, no matter how you look at it. Let me put it this simple way:
Cooking at home is good. Cooking for money is good too.
Killing people is bad. Killing people for money is bad too.
Having sex is good. And doing it for money doesn’t make it any worse. It’s just logical. If you have sex because you want to, with an adult person who also wants this, there is nothing wrong about it. Regardless if you do it for free or for money. You may not like the idea of being a sex worker – in that case just don’t be one and don’t hire one. I wish people were more open-minded about sex and sex work. It’s XXI century – it’s really a bit late to still stigmatise sex workers and criminalize sex work (in some countries)… Criminalizing sex work doesn’t make anything better. But maybe that is a topic for whole another article.
Advice For Those Looking To Get Started Into Sex Work
If you think about starting work as an escort, there are many things you should know. It’s hard to list them all here. There are many technical, business and personal tips every experienced sex worker could give.
But from general things, I think you should know that sex work can be a great work. You should only remember to surround yourself with the right people (friends and clients), do only things that are comfortable for you. You should value yourself and not care about mean individuals that you might meet. And always, always, always put your safety first. Don’t lose your head for money. Be safe, have fun, make money, save some for later and enjoy the advantages of an escort life.
Nicole Kaminski – I’m an independent, international escort based in Warsaw, Poland. My speciality are professional sensual massages and Girlfriend Experience dates. I’m an easygoing and friendly person, that you would enjoy spending time with. I love escorting and blogging.
Follow Nicole on
Website: nicolekaminski.com
Email: nicolekaminski@protonmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/NicoleNKNK
Instagram: https://instagram.com/nicole_kaminski_companion/
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