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How To Get Started Into BDSM

Kink

How To Get Started Into BDSM

If I can put it simply, I think kink is the spice of sex life! I always knew I liked to be dominated sexually. Hair pulling, spanking and being physically overpowered during sex always appealed to me before I knew anything about kink. Since discovering it about five years ago, I have learned so much more about myself and that has led to me feeling more open and fulfilled in my relationships.

I have also found that people in the kink community are generally open minded and accepting. I’ve met a lot of amazing people and new friends that I would have never crossed paths with if I didn’t delve into my kinky side.

The Appeal Of BDSM

I believe that BDSM has grown significantly in popularity since the release of the ‘Fifty Shades’ series. It has become more mainstream and more people are curious about it. As far as what the appeal is, or what attracts someone to BDSM, that varies greatly depending on the individual. I think life experiences and psychological makeup play a large role in whether or not someone is drawn to BDSM.

Aspects Of BDSM I Am Into

I enjoy several aspects of BDSM for different reasons. I like bondage for the challenge of it. I like to test my flexibility and ability to handle strict positions for extended periods of time. However, bondage is not usually a sexual turn on for me on it’s own, unless it’s combined with a certain level of pain play like spanking, flogging, caning, nipple torture, etc. I am a masochist and love pushing the limits of my pain threshold. Reaching that breaking point is a huge release physically and emotionally and the subspace experienced after a heavy play session is one of the best feelings ever.

I also really enjoy the power exchange of a D/s relationship. I can be dominant in many areas of my life, especially professionally, but in my personal life I love submitting to my partner sexually and serving them like they are superior to me. Being able to give up control in that area of my life is a huge release from the responsibilities of my professional life. I am involved in a Master/slave relationship and it’s one of the most fulfilling experiences I’ve had in my life thus far.

Introducing BDSM To Someone With No Experience

Good communication is very important before engaging in any BDSM activity and this is especially true with someone who has no experience or is nervous. Of course, the reason such a conversation would take place is because the person has expressed interest in it.

So ask them what it is about BDSM that attracted them to it. Are there specific activities they want to try? What are their limits and hard no’s? It’s extremely important to fully trust the person you plan to engage in BDSM play with and thorough communication can help to establish that trust.

Tips For Beginners Searching For Their Kink

There are aspects of BDSM I never realized I would enjoy until they were introduced to me by a partner who was more experienced in BDSM than I was. It’s helpful when you’re new to BDSM to have a partner who is more experienced and can show you the ropes so to speak. I would recommend starting to experiment with a safe partner you trust (preferably experienced) and as you try new things, you will learn what works for you and turns you on as well as what doesn’t.

If you feel like you have no idea where to start, I recommend visiting bdsmtest.org and take the quiz to get an idea of what aspects of BDSM you might enjoy the most. You can also create a profile on Fetlife.com, a popular social media website where you can interact with others in the BDSM community, find local events and much more. Another great resource is XRuniversity.com which features educational and informative videos on BDSM play that are great for beginners and may be especially useful for couples where both partners are new to kink and BDSM.


Chrissy Marie is a glamour/fetish model and professional custom video producer specializing in damsel in distress bondage. She has been published in Penthouse Magazine, Playboy.com and much more throughout her career. These days her focus is on being the kinky girl next door! She stays busy fetish modeling and producing videos for her sites www.CaptiveChrissyMarie.com and www.clips4sale.com/98213.

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Website: www.CaptiveChrissyMarie.com

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Photos courtesy of Chrissy Marie

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Chrissy Marie

Chrissy Marie is a glamour/fetish model and professional custom video producer specializing in damsel in distress bondage. She has been published in Penthouse Magazine, Playboy.com and much more throughout her career. These days her focus is on being the kinky girl next door! She stays busy fetish modeling and producing videos for her sites www.CaptiveChrissyMarie.com & www.clips4sale.com/98213.

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