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How To Calm Any Nerves Before Sex

Sex Ed

How To Calm Any Nerves Before Sex

Want to sleep better, decrease risks of prostate cancer and be an healthier and happier version of yourself? Look no further than your next orgasm – your next mindful orgasm that is!

While numerous studies tout the benefits of sexual activity (with or without a partner), it is the orgasmic phase that seems to yield the most benefits, especially coupled with meditation techniques. In my opinion, this makes enjoyable and desired erotic exploration a healthy pursuit to engage in, on our own time or in good company.

That being said, in this day and age where performance is encouraged and mindfulness encounters many obstacles, the proper mood, drive or bliss may elude us, either partially or completely, sometimes for very long stretches. Confidence may be shaken and it can be difficult to relax in sexual situations, driving us away from a type of release that can be entirely natural and enjoyable under the right circumstances.

Being relaxed and present in our bodies is in my opinion the best way to make the most of an intimate encounter. For me, satisfaction comes from the experience itself, letting myself fully be and observing the delicious sensations that arise.

Stress can get in the way of that moment – the parasympathetic nervous system regulates sexual arousal and it cannot do so when we are tense. It is an instinctual response, and to mitigate it we must take the reigns of our mental state and regulate our physical state.

It may be helpful, in preparation of a delectable passionate moment, either with oneself or a partner (or two!) to care for our bodies. They are the vehicle of our pleasure after all.

Here are some simple ways to prime our being for this vibrant adventure.

– A contrast shower, alternating a minute of warm water with 10 seconds of cool water for a few rounds

– Performing a Body Scan : imagining a wave of warmth and relaxation go through all our being, starting at the very tip of our toes and making its way up our entire body, inch by inch.

– A workout, stretching or dance routine that makes us feel groovy

– Deep breathing exercises, especially box breathing (source – Mark Divine, SealFit)

– Giving ourselves or receiving a massage from a partner – treat yourself to a nice nourishing oil if you can! If you experience “ticklishness” or are easily overstimulated, start with a massage of the hands/feet & head – they are less intimate parts and can allow for relaxation to set in fully.

When it comes to having a partner or more join in, it can be enjoyable to take some time to talk – the back and forth flirty banter can put people in the mood! Sharing time, even out of the bedroom – walking on the beach, enjoying a fine dining experience or an art gallery visit can be incredibly intellectually stimulating on top of being an exquisite prelude to delicious pleasures.

Sex requires confidence, in ourselves and our partner(s) – it is a process that cannot be bypassed even when encounters are short lived. We owe ourselves the time to bloom with erotic pleasure if we wish to do so. It is a sweet freedom that ends where the other’s begin, and that allows us to intermingle and experience bliss if we give ourselves permission to.

Wishing you the very best practice on your own path,

Lorence Vennes


Lorence Vennes – A Vancouver based courtesan practicing mindful erotic companionship. She finds freedom in nature and poetry. Originally from the East Coast she moved to the Pacific North West to explore dark mossy forests and run on tall sunny mountain trails.

Follow Lorence Vennes  on

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MlleVennes

Website: http://www.datelorence.com/

extra sources :

https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/seven-healthy-reasons-to-have-sex-right-now.aspx

https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-ap/chapter/functions-of-the-autonomic-nervous-system/

https://sealfit.com/box-breathing/


Article images courtesy of Lorence Vennes, featured image from Shutterstock

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Lorence Vennes

Lorence Vennes is a Vancouver based courtesan practicing mindful erotic companionship. She finds freedom in nature and poetry. Originally from the East Coast she moved to the Pacific North West to explore dark mossy forests and run on tall sunny mountain trails.

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