What Sugar Dating Is Really Like

I am very supportive of sugar babies. I am the biggest advocate for sugar dating. It’s perfect for someone in their early twenties who is looking to save money, have fun experiences, but isn’t quite ready to settle down yet. I think its a great idea to have some friends that are also sugar babies. I love to meet up with other sugar babies and talk about our experiences. It is a unique world – and sugar babies are full of stories that we can’t tell just anyone. So I think it’s important for sugar babies to support each other. The sugar baby community on Tumblr is amazing and its a place where many sugar babies share their experiences, tips and stories. That’s how I have found most of my sugar baby friends – from Tumblr.

Expectations Of A Sugar Daddy

Sugar daddies are expected to provide you with an allowance, at minimum. What you do with your allowance is up to you. For me, I quit my day time job – and with the allowance my sugar daddy gives me, I pay my rent, for food, my car bill, and some shopping. Aside from an allowance, what else you may get depends on your sugar daddy. Whether that be weekly Michelin star dinners, vacations together, etc. Some might offer to help you buy an apartment, help you invest, help you get a job in their career field, mentor you, even put your in their will. It all depends on your sugar daddy and what you ask for or what you’re looking for.

How A Sugar Relationship Starts & Works

Sugar dating relationships (usually) start just like every other relationships now a days it seems like, on the internet. Many women meet sugar daddies off of the site “Seeking Arrangement.” Other women will go to upscale bars and lounges and try to scope out the scene for wealthy men. That’s called “freestyling.”

I found my current sugar daddy from Seeking Arrangement. Our first date was pretty normal. We toured San Francisco by car. He’s been living there for the past 30+ years and would tell me interesting facts about the places we passed. We had a great dinner at a Michelin star restaurant. He took me back to his apartment in Pacific Heights, and I stayed the night. The next morning, he told me he put something for me in the back pocket of my jeans. I checked my pocket on the way out and it was $1500 in cash. That’s the difference between regular dating and sugar dating. Now he deposits money into my bank account twice a month.

Safety Concerns In A Sugar Relationship

Just like with regular dating, there are safety concerns with sugar dating too. It’s important to look up your date before going out with them. If you have their real phone number, there are many apps you can use that will bring up a lot of their information (everything from their address to criminal history – just from their phone number).

If they give you a fake number through Google voice (which many do at first), you can do a Google reverse image search on their profile pictures. Many times if they are a professional, they will use a professional photo on their profile (like one from their LinkedIn) and it’s easy to reverse image search them and find out their real name. Once you have their real name, it’s a good idea to let a friend or roommate know where you’re going and who you’re with. If you cannot find out who they are, go on one first date with them in public, it’s often called a ‘meet and greet.”

You will usually get a good vibe of them. In the past, I went on a coffee date for a first meet with a man I wasn’t able to verify. I went early, waited outside, and took down his license plate number when I saw him parking. Seems crazy but it’s important to stay safe! So far I have had nothing but really great experiences with all the men I have met, thankfully.

Misconceptions About Sugar Dating

There are a lot of misconceptions about sugar dating. A common one is that all sugar daddies are old. There are plenty of men in their 30’s and 40’s on Seeking Arrangement! Personally I prefer the older men, though, for myself.

Another misconception is that sugar babies do it just for material items. Many women enjoy sugar dating to pay off their tuition, to pay for grad school. Sometimes women prefer sugar dating because aside from the allowance, sugar daddies are able to provide you with experiences you otherwise wouldn’t necessarily have.  Or perhaps not in your twenties. Such as Michelin star dining, trips and vacations, etc.

Another misconception is that it’s just about sex. It’s a relationship – so of course sex is usually a part of it – but that’s not the only aspect of it.

Tips To Know Before Becoming A Sugar Baby

First off, don’t settle or sell yourself short. Closed mouths don’t get fed, so if you want something – don’t be afraid ask. It’s important to invest in a quality wardrobe. Buy quality dresses that will last, for dinner dates. I like black outfits – no matter the brand, black is classic, chic, and classy. Invest in your appearance. I’m on a first name basis with the nurses and aestheticians at my local medspa. I go there for facials, laser hair removal, botox. Have your nails done and hair done, always. It’s important to always look polished.

Another tip is to know what your sugar daddy wants. Why did he go on the site in the first place? Is he looking for discreet fun? Many sugar daddy are on the site because they want companionship but don’t have time for traditional dating. My sugar daddy likes that I’m young, energetic, curious. Find out what he’s looking for and tailor to his needs. Also, hold your ground. I made a rule for myself that I will always use condoms. My sugar daddy has asked to ditch them, but I’m stern on using them and he has accepted it. Money does not equal power. Sugar babies also hold much power and should not forget that. A young beautiful woman who knows her value is very powerful.

Lastly, try to save your money. Whether that be for college, paying off debt, saving for a house or car – save save save! If you want designer luxuries, have your sugar daddy buy them for you. Ask for nice presents for your birthday and Christmas. Take advantage of the connections you make. I’ve heard of a sugar daddy professor helping his sugar baby write a dissertation in the field he studied for her PHD paper. If you’re looking for someone specific – don’t settle because you’ll eventually find the sugar daddy you’re looking for.

And lastly of course, be safe.

Isabella Ivy – Socialite. Companion. Sugar Baby. Based in San Francisco, CA

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Article images courtesy of Isabella Ivy

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