Sex work is a job just like any other. There is demand and so therefore there is supply. It’s not for everyone but neither is nursing nor teaching.
As people like to throw around, it’s the oldest profession in the world. I’ve only been in the industry for five years and its changed a lot in that time with the internet and has been affected by different laws which have closed sites down etc. It’s become harder to run your own business in ways – you have to keep up with what’s trending.
People think it’s lots of money for doing not too much. It’s glamourised. I often hear people say, oh I could do that. But could they? There is the obvious physical side and then there is the psychological side. Getting the mind right is the most important part.
But it’s the best job that I have ever had. I work my own hours, I decide when I see people and where. I am my own boss and I choose. It’s very empowering work. I am more than a sex worker – I’m a companion, a confidant, a psychologist and sometimes a friend. There is much more depth to it than what most people allow their minds to fathom past the name calling and judgements. Your best friend could be a sex worker. It doesn’t make them any less of a best friend.
How I First Got Started Into Sex Work
I was a nurse in my previous life – this industry is actually not that much different in many ways, patients require care, support and nurturing and so do my clients these days.
I left nursing, I was sick of the shift work and decided to become a massage therapist which led to exploring other areas of the esoteric arts such as tantra and shamanic practices. I really loved the connectedness that I felt when I was with clients in tantric practices and massage and one thing led to another. I worked in a massage parlour in Melbourne doing erotic massage, and was approached by clients for extra services all the time and one day I just thought – what the hell! I was paid by someone that I chose to spend time with, no one forced me and I felt so empowered, this was my body and I was choosing to spend time with someone for a monetary exchange on my terms. It was the most liberating moment of my life.
Does Getting Into The Adult Industry At A Later Age Have A Difference?
I can’t say what it’s like for the younger girls but for me, entering the industry in my late 30’s was the right time. I had joked about it before in my life but never entertained the thought. Being older I am very aware of my boundaries – what I will and won’t do with clients. I know my own body and listen to it for when I will and won’t work – this is not a job that you can do 8 hrs a day 5 days a week. There is a process that you need to go through regarding age and clients, I’m not 20, I have stretch marks, my face is older, I am older.
There are questions that you have for yourself, do I get less clients because I’m older, will they not want an old lady etc. Life is cruel in the fact that it favours the young, especially for women. And this industry is hard like that as we are all judged by a photo on an advertisement as to our sex appeal, beauty, brains etc. Whatever the client is looking for. But what age has to offer is experience, intelligence, and knowing ourselves. We have more figured out. And some clients love that and they are my type of clients.
What The Industry Can Improve On
I would love to see more acceptance within the industry between workers. There is a lot of in-fighting in parlours etc. I work privately so I don’t experience that anymore but it can be lonely working alone too. I know girls who work privately and have still had issues with other workers on social media sites. Women can’t help themselves to take others down. It seems part of our make up. It’s a shame that it’s this way. We would all do so much better if we supported each other. (It was similar in nursing too, to be honest)
And it’s glamorised by the media – most movies about it are the broken woman who wants to be rescued, think Pretty Woman. It’s just not true. There are many shapes and sizes of people who work in this industry, we are not all broken, cash strapped, addicts who need someone to rescue us.
Biggest Misconception About Sex Work
As I said above – we are broken people who can’t get money any other way.
We don’t have relationships and our families disown us and we have to hide who we are.
When I shared my job with people, initially it was with trepidation as I was concerned about people’s opinions. And rightly so, as I have lost quite a few friends who no longer want to associate with someone who works in my line of work.
But if they didn’t know – if they still kept telling themselves that I was the nurse I would still be a friend. Because I didn’t change, my career did.
And people think that we don’t have relationships, yes it’s harder to have them because it takes more understanding but it is possible. I’m still a person who loves and cares for those around me, being a sex worker doesn’t change that either.
Advice For Those Looking To Go Into Sex Work
Best advice ever!!! Start slow. Dip your toe. Don’t rush and buy heaps of clothes, make up etc. You probably have one nice set of lingerie already. That’s enough. You have no idea whether this job is for you.
Do your research – check out what area you think you might like to work in and see what support services are available to you – there are many in each city for safe sex practices, laws, mental health etc.
Check them out!!
If you start in massage parlours or brothels, go and check out a few. Work a shift or two in each and then decide which you like. Do this first before you even think about working privately.
Read other profiles of other workers that are around your age. (Warning: this will mess with everything that you thought about yourself but you need to see who’s charging what for what so that you can work out roughly what to charge)
Private work is a big jump – I would definitely start in a club or brothel and then decide. There is a lot to consider with private that is over and above what I have shared here. Photo’s, security, advertising, return on investment for advertising, touring, the list goes on and this information gets learnt along the way. It’s personal, and trial and error. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. But if you love business and how it works, managing money, juggling clients and time management then this is the job for you, and you can work your own hours.
Ruby Wild – Hello I’m Ruby Wild. I believe that passion and pleasure make life a much richer journey and there is nothing more powerful than when two people meet and experience both. I am a well travelled, educated and life experienced woman with a diverse background full of adventures to share. Whether you enjoy an hour interlude or dinner, dancing and dessert, I am very capable of holding my own in any environment and make a wonderful companion.
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Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock, article images courtesy of Ruby Wild
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