We think the lifestyle (as it’s often known) can really enhance your relationship and bring you closer together. It’s not just about the sexy experiences, though they can be incredible. We’ve found that it’s really helped us focus on communication and explore what we desire as a couple.
There’s quite a stigma attached to it though – so many people think of keys in a bowl from the 60s and 70s but the reality is really quite different. For us, it’s been much more about building relationships, having fun and making friends. And, of course, consent and understanding boundaries is a huge part of that.
How We Got Started Swinging
We actually started out watching sexy movies and documentaries as part of our own little date nights. That led us to a reality TV show from Playboy called Swing, which explores the lifestyle with new couples entering a house of swingers. That sparked conversations about exploring Mrs H’s bisexuality and having lots of fun in the bedroom.
We hit fabswingers.com and started looking for a Unicorn (that’s a single female) for us to play with. Since then we’ve tested our boundaries and started playing with other couples too.
The UK Swinging Scene
It’s a lot larger than we ever expected – with clubs and meet and greets up and down the country. When we first started looking for play partners, we had no idea there would be real swingers that are less than a mile away!
There are some amazing clubs out there – and all have been very welcoming so far, which is great for people just starting their adventures.
The scene is generally quite healthy – and seems to be growing in popularity. However, there does seem to be quite a focus on the British wanting to turn up and just crack on with having sex (often with asking for consent being a forgotten process). It’s simple enough to navigate – you just have to know that saying ‘no thank you’ is OK.
Popular Places To Meet Swingers
Most major cities have their own meet and greets (where people can turn up, have a drink and meet – without clothes coming off). It’s a great way to get started and to make arrangements to meet couples one on one.
Clubs are also popular. These do come with membership fees and the like – and many are a bring your own bottle affair. However, they often offer private rooms, things like dungeons (for anyone into BDSM play) and hot tubs. Quite often there will be a dress code – with some requiring a little more nudity in play areas too.
Advice For Couples Looking To Swing
It’s really important to talk about it with your partner – communication is absolutely key. Also keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes on their journey – it’s about keeping calm, taking yourselves away from the play and having a sensible conversation if you can (emotions can run high).
It’s also important to know what you want from the adventure, what you expect and to share any rules you might have – will you play in the same room as your parter, how far will it go (soft swap – which is everything apart from penetrative sex or full swap) etc.
We’d suggest going to a meet and greet and just chatting to people already in the lifestyle too.
Of course you can listen to our podcast (bed hoppers) or plenty of other excellent podcasts out there such as We Gotta Thing, Normalizing Non Monogamy or Swinging Downunder. Shows like Playboy Swing or books like the Ethical Slut can also be a valuable resource.
Mr and Mrs H – It’s us, Mr and Mrs H. bed hoppers is our podcast about our adventures in the swinging lifestyle.
You can find our weekly podcast on iTunes and other providers – or head to our mini site at: https://shoppes77.podbean.com
Article images courtesy of Mr and Mrs H, featured image from Shutterstock
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