Well, since commencing sex work, these views have changed a great deal. I grew up in a very conservative household, and sex was very much viewed as something “mummy and daddy did because they love each other very much.” In mainstream opinion, I lost my virginity very late and in quite an unconventional way. Sex used to be this big unknown, almost sinful thing that occurred behind closed doors. Now it’s almost an everyday part of life.
Sex can be incredibly intimate, it can be lustful, passionate, primal, perfunctory. It can also be uncomfortable, a means to an end and frankly quite awful. My view of sex is that it only means something if you want it to. It is not the definition of intimacy, which I think a lot of people misconstrue it for. Where in the history of the world was it ordained that sex should only be done if you love someone? I feel this is perpetuated by myth and religion and sets a lot of people up for heartache and disappointment.
An emotional closeness, trust and deep founded connection equals true intimacy. If you put an umbrella on sex and call it ‘special’ it actually takes away the integrity of the act. Something is only special if it means something to you, if you choose to endow it with meaning. Sex is not inherently meaningful or special. The power lies within the person and the intention that person instilled upon it.
How I Got Started Into Escorting
I worked with a girl who got fired from her job and found herself living in the most expensive suburb in Melbourne without a means to pay rent. We talked about sugaring but it seemed and proved to be quite time consuming for very little return. So instead she decided to go trying out brothel work. She called me in tears, unable to continue due to a horrible client experience. She then preserved a little longer with sugaring, only to meet a fully fledged escort at a group sex booking, who schooled her in how to run her business successfully, which she did.
Every time we caught up for the following eighteen months, she’d implore me to give it a try. I’d always been curious and fascinated by the industry but never thought I’d have the balls to actually engage. She knew I was unhappy in my current job so gave me an ultimatum. She said she would set up a booking for me with one of her regular clients and that if I didn’t go through with it once it was organised, she’d never speak to me again.
I am too much of an adventurer and a challenge junkie to say no to something like this, even though I was nervous. I walked out of that first booking with an entirely different perspective than I had walking in. And I haven’t looked back since…well, okay, maybe once or twice 😉
Misconceptions About Escorting
I think one of the most common misconception is that sex work isn’t work. That being an escort isn’t a job. It very much is. Each person that engages in it does so for a different reason. Which is a segway into another misconception; that escorts are sex crazed individuals who chose sex work for this reason and thus it is an ‘easy’ thing to do. It is certainly the case for some workers, some of the time, which is brilliant for them and probably makes work a lot easier, but a lot of industry professionals aren’t.
There is a lot of administration to attend too, it is literally running your own business and keeping yourself afloat on your own merit. Yes, some days are breezy and wonderful and enjoyable, but other days you don’t click with a client or you are menstruating, or you simply don’t feel like having sex or taking your clothes off, or giving your undivided attention to someone. It is like any other job; fun, challenging, exciting, sometimes dull and throughly hard (dick) schtick.
Another fallacy about escorting is that it is all about sex. There are a multitude of reasons why people arrange an encounter with a sex worker. Often times it’s because there is something missing in their lives; affection, attention, a certain sexual act that they’re unable to get or ask for elsewhere. Sometimes it is out of morbid curiosity for this intense industry that is still relatively covert and hushed. My experiences have been varied and please be reminded that I’m a privileged white female, but the re-occurring themes are excitement, novelty, connection, companionship and filling a void of loneliness and lack of human touch.
My roles are that of comforter, encourager, sexual servicer, listener and valuer. And I derive joy from them. Being privy to the company of men in all description of career, nationality, heritage and living circumstance is incredible. I’ve met people I never would have crossed paths with in a conventional job. I love this aspect of work. I also love the freedom and time it affords me to pursue other passions I have. I dictate my own hours (most of the time; I’m looking at you Mister Last-Minute Booking Requesters), can travel on a whim and sometimes splurge on fun things. There are many positive things that I love about sex work but of course, as with anything, there are also extremely negative things as well. It is a balancing act to ensure one does not become unhinged. To illustrate the perspective, if one were to draw a pie chart, the actual defining acts of sex would only take a a 20-30% slice.
The “dirty ho/slut” folklore is still very much alive and unfortunately well as it seems there are many people who are uneducated about sexual health. When safe sex practices are executed and there is awareness about the different infections and viruses that can be contracted and carried, sexual health can be maintained at a very high standard. Along implementing constant health checks, it is entirely difficult to pass something to someone, particularly if that person is also responsible with their sexual health. It is a two way street. 80% of the population carry the Herpes Simplex virus. A percentage of which have never shown symptoms.
Chicken pox and shingles come from the same family as cold sores and genital sores but everyone seems to think that if they show up on your hoo-ha you’re dirty, diseased and loose. The stigma needs to end. If you turn the conversation back on someone who isn’t a sex worker, it is interesting to note when they had their last sexual screen. I could almost guarantee you that sex workers get checks far more regularly than anyone in any other job. One only contracts something if someone else is deceitful or unaware of their condition, hence my point about education, prevention and responsibility.
One last misconception is that escorts are husband stealers. I’m sure it has happened, however, it is not the norm. We are service providers that use our bodies in exchange for compensation. A baker uses his hands to form dough, we use…other body parts. This may be a simplified view, but it is true. It is society and it’s prudish, shame-focused and archaic views that cause so much stigma around the industry. Marriage was traditionally an exchange of assets to secure land, power and allegiance. Sex work is an honest exchange of an experience for money. There are no grey areas which in turn creates far less expectation and disappointment.
Things That Are Off Limits With Escorts
There are absolutely things off limits for me. I market myself as a very natural and sensual GFE so hardcore services are not in my repertoire. The best thing to do if one is not sure is to quite simply ask. This does prove tricky in countries where sex work and the discussion of services is illegal. Having said this, there is never an excuse to “experiment” without first asking for consent.
My personal information is also off limits for anyone choosing to see me. Anonymity in the sex industry is extremely important for so many reasons including societal ostracisation, safety, shame mongers and the right to privacy. Not everyone understands or agrees with what we choose to do, including family members, and this is okay. As this is the case, it is vital to shield and protect one’s self. There are far too many little birds whispering to each other about all sorts of hullabaloo which can be incredibly hurtful, damaging and life altering if delivered to the wrong ears.
I think the word ‘weird’ spruiks shame for niche sexual desires so I wouldn’t say anything is weird; everyone has different sexual preferences. As long as no one is being hurt or exploited, anything goes. One thing I particularly marvelled at was one man’s ability to cum by being kicked in the balls, hard and repeatedly. The mind and the human body are amazing in so many ways.
What To Know When Engaging An Escort For First Time
This is the only question that I didn’t have a river of words flowing out of my mind in melodic sequence…haha. I guess the main things are the safe sex policy, the worker’s rules about respect and boundaries, and the fact that she/they/he are a person just like anybody else. No better or no less because of the job they choose to do, and that this service the client chooses to solicit is an experience that is tailored made for them to enjoy. Hopefully they very much do enjoy it 🙂
Alicia Bloom – I work under the name Alicia Bloom and consider myself to be a bubbly, joyful, sensual and authentic person, providing a companionship service that leaves one feeling valued, nurtured and refreshed in a manner of different ways. Apart from my work, I love words and the creation of beautifully crafted prose. I also love the aesthetic of film, good coffee, the great outdoors with all it’s various flora and fauna and maintaining the wonderful relationships I have in my life.
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Images courtesy of Alicia Bloom
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