Sex is fun! We live in a culture that both worships and demonizes sexuality while at the same time ignoring all of the nuances and complexities that each of us innately carry. I feel that it is the environment that allows us to relax into the deepest parts of our sexual nature that can be the most rewarding and pleasurable. My views on sex are somewhere along the lines of “let’s try it!”. I love getting to know clients over a period of time as it allows us to really work into the places in ourselves that scream to be expressed.
How I Began Escorting
It’s funny. I feel that it’s something that a lot of woman consider (at least flippantly) at some point in their lives, if only for a minute. Women grow up aware of the power their sexuality holds and in a world where utilizing your strongest assets is regarded as a surefire road to success, it makes sense that this can become a consideration.
Even though this was an idea I’ve toyed with for years it wasn’t until 2017 (this year) that I decided to give it a whirl. I am one of those people who researches everything, so I spent many a late night googling pros and cons, escort blogs and online forums looking for a clue into what sort of experience to expect. When I worked up enough courage I contacted a few agencies and picked the one that felt best for me, and stuck with that for a few months before I went off on my own.
Was It What You Expected?
This would be a dramatic understatement. Because of societies views on sex work, choosing to get into this dramatically shifts your sense of identity; at least it did for me. Part of my research included a lot about potential emotional repercussions, and certainly that was a huge fear for me going in to this. I have invested a lot of time and effort into myself by creating a holistically healthy world both inside and out: I didn’t want to fuck that up! We are fed a few extremely narrow narratives in terms of who does sex work and what the experience of that individual will be. We have the sex worker who is out on the streets supporting a habit, individuals who are enslaved by a person or group, or the high end woman who loses herself in luxury and material wealth in order to avoid facing the pain that comes from selling her body.
I definitely approached this world with eyes wide open and was prepared to leave if it felt like it was harming me in any way. What I’ve been so surprised to find is that rather than having a detrimental effect on my sense of self, I feel myself blooming and growing into someone who finally gets to use these beautiful skills that are both personal to me as an individual, as well as my gifts that are innately feminine. I’ve found this process to be incredibly creative, filled with genuine connection and beautiful opportunities. I have a strong desire to nurture and hold space for people that I encounter, but sometimes in my world outside of work, I can often feel like these gifts that I give to others are not cherished in the way that I need or expect them to be. Thanks to the financial exchange I feel that I’m able to give the best parts of myself and never leave an encounter feeling drained or under appreciated. And what a gift that is to me!
Pros Of Escorting
I really do feel so blessed to be doing this work for a living. It has a lot of dream elements: Travel, financial independence, the ability to choose my own schedule and environment and to create a platform that is uniquely mine and only mine. I love the female camaraderie that is present among working girls – it’s like a secret club! I also love how this job has stretched me in so many ways. I’ve had to really look at myself and my judgements around age, gender, occupation and value, and am pleased to find so many of these biases falling away the more that I do this work. For example: we have so many fears around age and the feelings of mortality than come from seeing an elderly person.
We look at young woman with very old men with a certain element of dismay wondering “how could she be attracted to him”? What a limiting idea! The soul will always be young, and we all hold the same wonderful and beautiful complexities that make us human. Choosing to move past whatever packaging the person in front of us is wrapped in by leaning in to their heart instead has been one of the most liberating life lessons I could have ever asked for. It’s teaching me so much, and that’s by far my biggest pro about escorting.
Ada Katsby – Your San Francisco based part-time girlfriend and companion.
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