Looking after our sexual health should be step one for everyone who enjoys sexual adventures, especially because not looking after ourselves can severely limit the amount of fun we can have in future – and we wouldn’t want that 😉 I feel responsible not only for my own sexual health, but also for every person I share an intimate encounter with. Safe sex, in my experience, is something you do together – and that is also the way to make it more fun!
Common Myths About Sex
There are a whole bunch of safer sex myths, and I’d like to dispel some for you here:
Myth 1: Condoms ruin sex/they don’t fit me.
Sex with a condom feels different from sex without a condom, but that does not mean it has to be less good. All brands of condoms have different shapes and sizes. If condoms sometimes break or split when you use them, or if they feel too tight, go a size up. If condoms tend to slip off or feel insecure, go a size down. If you get a burning sensation during or after sex with a condom, try some latex free ones – latex intolerance is way more common than you think. Don’t like the taste of condoms? Try out some different brands and flavours – you can find anything from coffee to mint!
Myth 2: Getting a sexual health check is scary.
Luckily, sexual health nurses are specially trained to make a check up as easy and comfortable as possible. Often, you don’t even have to get naked at all! Plus, not being sure whether you have an STI (sexually transmitted infection) is a lot scarier than finding out how your health really is doing.
Myth 3: Having an STI (sexually transmitted infection) is the end of the world!
We’ve come very far from the days that having an STI meant shame and no more sex. Nowadays, many STI’s can be cured with antibiotics, and even people who have HIV but take their medication no longer pass on the virus during sex. On the other hand, some STI’s are becoming antibiotic resistant – so it’s still better to prevent than to cure! The easiest prevention is using condoms and having regular sexual health checks.
Myth 4: Condom use always interrupts sex.
The more you practice, the easier it is to let condoms not interrupt the flow of your sexy encounters. There are a whole lot of tricks to make condom use sexier (which I will tell you all about in a bit), but one of the best ones is to try putting them on several times on your own, before you do it with a partner. Once you are super smooth on your own, you will be smooth and quick when your partner is there as well.
Myth 5: If I don’t have a condom on me, I can’t have safe sex.
Luckily, there are lots of types of sex you can have that don’t involve penetration at all – penises entering orifices is only one of the many things you can do in a sexy encounter. Maybe have a sensual massage, and slide your naked bodies over each other with plenty of oil or lube. Or enjoy some great mutual masturbation. The odds of an STI being transmitted through oral sex on a woman is extremely low, so get down there and pleasure your lady like she deserves! Exploring your partner’s body and finding out all the things they like that don’t involve penetration will only improve your creativity and enjoyment of sex.
Myth 6: I don’t enjoy sex with a condom!
I have literally never met a person who, when given the choice between sex with a condom and no sex at all, chose to have no sex at all. Sex is like pizza: even if it’s not your favourite topping, it’s still pretty good when you’re peckish.. So put your own health first, wrap it up, and enjoy your encounter!
How To Make Safe Sex Fun!
There are so many ways to make safe sex fun. I always recommend having a selection of condoms (and if you like, also gloves and dental dams) so your partner and you can pick your favourites. The best way to communicate about safe sex is to assume your partner is just as happy to look after their health as you are – and usually they will be.
Now, to make condom use more fun I have two tips I highly recommend you use. First of all – if you have sex with men – is to learn how to put a condom on with your mouth. You can always practice on a banana, but it should not be hard to find a willing participant for you to practice this skill on 😉 Mind your teeth so you don’t break the condom, and make putting one on the sexiest thing your partner has ever experienced!
A second tip is to put a drop of lube on the inside of the condom. The main difference between having sex with and without a condom is that there is less lubrication when you use one. When you put a drop of lube in the tip, it slides smoother and will feel even better – especially for men who are circumcised!
And as always when having sex, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself! Sex is fun, and so is safe sex, so giggle if you drop a condom while putting it on, wink seductively when you put a condom on with your mouth, and don’t be afraid to be less than smooth – if your partner didn’t think you were hot they wouldn’t be there!
Things I Like To Make Sex Better
Finally, lube is fantastic – it makes all kinds of sex feel better, and it also makes it safer by preventing condoms breaking when you have a longer sex-marathon. A drop of lube inside the condom is great, but so is lots of lube anywhere your beautiful bodies rub up against each other. Try a bunch of different brands and types (water or silicone based!) and see which one makes your sexual adventures even more fun.
Anna Williams is a sex-educator and professional escort in London, UK. She specialises in threesomes, new experiences, and safer sex education. She believes strongly that natural beauty, communication, intelligence and feminine curves are sexy. She also believes that everyone should have the threesome of their dreams at least once in their lives!
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