Women and men approach sex with different objectives, whereas men seek orgasms, women seek the pleasure that come from the build up to the possible orgasm. And I say “possible” because, unfortunately, not every woman orgasms every time. Different researches have pointed, on average, 80% of men orgasm in every sexual encounter, for women, it’s only about 25%. Thus, men approach sex to “come”, while most women just want to enjoy the foreplay, clitoral stimulation, penetration, etc and let the orgasm arrive organically. Men set their sights on the end, women, on the route to that end.
I am part of that 75% who doesn’t orgasm in every encounter, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it. Yes, shocking, I can have amazing sex without orgasms. It’s more about the “play” that can last many minutes, rather than that intense sensation that only last a few seconds. By “play” I mean foreplay, sex, and everything else that happens in an intimate encounter.
If you ask me about a bad sexual experience, I can recount one where I came, my entire body shivered, I grabbed the bed sheets fiercely and screamed, hard, very hard. But it was still bad sex. How was that possible? I was tortured into an orgasm, kind of. It’s not what you’re thinking, I wasn’t raped. I just came with a Hitachi Magic Wand. A gentleman placed that enormous vibrating device in my clitoris and I painfully reached an orgasm after a couple of minutes. My clitoris is extremely sensitive, so any contact that is far away from delicate only causes an overwhelming sensation that resembles pain, but pain isn’t 100% accurate to describe it, because I can come afterwards, it’s just an overwhelming feeling that I don’t enjoy at all.
Surprisingly, I’ve also come across gentlemen who don’t put orgasms as their top priority in sex. Even more shocking, right? His words were something along the way “I just enjoy the process, your kisses, the feeling inside you ……”
What Gets Me Aroused
It depends on my cycle and hormones. I’m sometimes aroused, wet, and ready to go instantly, and some other times, I need more foreplay. My sex drive definitely spikes up in the last half of my cycle, so there is always a 60% of chance of encountering a super wet and insatiable Li-Mei. The other 40% will be a moderately wet and insatiable Li-Mei. An advantage of my young age and relatively healthy diet is that my hormones allow me to get aroused easily. A good kisser is always a plus, someone who starts slowly gracing my lips and building up to a voracious tongue tango.
They say men are aroused though their sight whereas women do it through words and touch. It only requires an attractive naked young lady to get him ready, it doesn’t happen the opposite way. Little gestures like compliments, gifts, and respect goes a long way with me. And probably kisses in the back of my neck, even though I’m tickly, but I enjoy them.
Foreplay Required For Sex
Technically speaking, there is no requirement for me to be ready for sex. There is no day of a month where I’m completely dry and totally unable to have sex, unless, I’m laying in my bed dying of a terrible cold. If that’s not the case, then kissing, caressing, teasing my breasts, and stroking my genital area will do.
Getting Orgasms From Sex
It’s probably a 60/40, all depending on the time of the month and chemistry. And multiple orgasms also depend on how aroused I am. But I can orgasm several times, something that I don’t enjoy is getting asked, “did you come?”, “how many times did you come?” It only puts pressure on me and hinders the possibility of multiple orgasms.
What Turns Me Off
Bad hygiene first and foremost. Not only do I not like kissing garlic, I also don’t want anything unhygienic nearby my genital areas, getting eaten out by someone who doesn’t brush his teeth is a great recipe for UTIs. Getting fingered by hands that rode the NYC subway will surely cause me nightmares. Rough clitoral play will surely get me dry even if I started up wet, like I mentioned before, I’m very sensitive.
Li Mei – A petite Asian, hungry for adrenaline and knowledge, I’m an undergraduate student in NYC and passionate ballet/jazz dancer. Grew up speaking Spanish and embracing the best of two worlds, the tenderness of a traditional oriental culture, and the adventurous western spice.
Follow me on:
Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock, all other images courtesy of Li Mei
Like to be featured on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!