I’m very liberal about sex; I fuck when I want (with the consent of the other person/people, of course), I don’t when I don’t want to, I don’t feel guilty if I want to, and I don’t use it as a leverage tool or play games with sex (not hot, in my mind). My parents raised me not to feel any guilt about a natural human drive…I do it safely, of course, but I don’t worry too much about it. People attach far too much guilt and shame to sex, in my opinion. Not sure if that comes from religion or bad parenting, but it is awfully silly. Waste of energy.
How Important Foreplay Is
Foreplay is vital; without it, her orgasm is surely fake. Maybe men don’t care, or maybe they believe the films in which people get right to the sex without much foreplay, or maybe women don’t yet feel the right to ask for proper foreplay…but there sure is a lot of bad sex going around. Sad. Oh, and sure, I suppose there can obviously be TOO much…too much friction will render a woman sore after a bit, of course. One wants to take one’s time, but not overdo it. And I’m quite sure that the “right” amount depends upon the woman and on the mood at the time.
Tips To Please Your Lady
Learn her…everyone is different, and sleeping around in lots of shallow relationships will guarantee you’re horrid in bed. It takes time for a woman to feel safe and trust you to show you her needs, so the first few times her orgasms are unlikely to be real (sorry, just telling you a truth that most women don’t). Invest the time, and you’ll reap the rewards. Oh, and stop learning from porn…that stuff is garbage if you want a woman to actually enjoy the sex. It’s a fine art, but it’s performative. The women are faking it in porn, gentlemen. You fuck like those films, your partner will be as well.
Experiment During Sex Or Keep To The Usual
Don’t do either of those thing ALWAYS. Do the known good stuff now and then, and try new stuff now and then. And above all, find out what she wants. When surprising her with something new, PAY ATTENTION (you’ll know if it’s going badly and you can quit, or if it’s going well and it should perhaps be incorporated and/or expanded into your sex life with her).
When To Use Sex Toys & Roleplay
All of those things can be great; it depends upon your partner’s desires. If you need inspiration, find out what turns her on, and perhaps gently introduce her into what turns you on. And honestly, sex is awesome…why does it always have to be heated up? For me, it’s like pizza…I never don’t want it. If you’re really that bored, geez…you’re kinda demanding of life, aren’t you? I mean, sex is already incredible. Never in my life have I found it boring, haha…even crappy sex was still pretty fun.
What To Avoid Doing
No consent, of course, from your partner. And doing things she hates, I suppose (I’d never allow this, but in some relationships of unequal power the woman finds herself having to have performative sex that she hates, to keep a man happy…this is hideous, and in my mind is tantamount to rape). But then again, I’m only one woman, so I only know what doesn’t work for ME. Top of my no-no list? Wearing a clown suit. Sorry, no judgment to clown suit fetishists out there (is that a thing?)…LOL.
Amy Taylor is a native Californian. While spending nearly 2 decades as a published model, she also received her undergraduate degree in Berkeley, MBA in Los Angeles, and commercial pilot’s licenses in Arizona. When she’s not found in front of the camera, she’s enjoying the sunny skies flying, keeping fit at her local gym, or at the beach playing with her dog.
Featured image courtesy of Amy Taylor
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