The first time we make love to another person should be special. Note that I use the words “make love”, not fucking, screwing or any of the other hundreds of words that could be used.
All societies in one form or another say that we should do it with the person we love and preferably be married too, but in reality most of us don’t live up to that standard.
My first time was a bit of a disaster. At the time I was in England attending a boarding school and I really liked a guy in the small town where the school was located. We dated for a few weeks during the spring, walking hand in hand and stealing kisses when no one saw us. I was sixteen at the time and he was a couple of years older, and more experienced.
One sunny day he took me to a field and we sat down by a little creek and began making out. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was naked and he was on top of me.
What followed can only be described as disappointing. It was not what I had expected. He wasn’t as exercised as I had thought and was in a hurry. I knew how “things worked” and what I was supposed to do; spread my legs, kiss him and hug him. But my brain froze ones he was inside me and I just lay there like a dead fish. He didn’t last for more than a few minutes before he pulled out and came on the grass. I hadn’t felt a thing, apart from a little pain and his weight over me.
Things didn’t get much better during the following months and when I left school in July I had only done it three times, and none of those times were the earth shattering love making that I had expected.
So, what went wrong?
- I was too shy to talk about what I liked.
- I had no idea what I liked.
- We didn’t use protection.
- We were on a field, not in a bed.
- I was nervous and so was he.
My tips for those of you who are thinking about having sex for the first time are the following:
- Get to know your body. If we don’t know what we like, how can we tell our partners? Spend some time exploring your own sexuality, it is OK to masturbate and learn what turns you on and what doesn’t.
- Talk to your partner. I don’t mean have a meeting, but when you are in the bed and the light is turned off, whisper in his ear what you like. Using sounds will let him know what he is doing right, or wrong.
- Use a bed. Outside or in a pool might sound like fun, but it is not the best place for your first time.
- Use protection. You don’t want to become pregnant or catch a STD during your first time.
- This one is for the guys. Be patient with her. Sex is not like in the porn movies. Girls don’t have instant orgasm as soon as you put it inside them, we don’t moan loudly the first time. Be gently, use your fingers, kiss her, touch her, make her comfortable and feel secure.
- Another for the guys. Don’t try all the positions available. Start with something simple like the missionary, or with her on top. Many women like to be in control, and it might help them relax knowing that they decided how fast and how deep you penetrate them.
- Oral sex is a great way to please each other before penetration. Either you can take turns or use the 69 position. The hornier the woman is, the easier it will be to penetrate her.
- This is for the women. Not all men can last for thirty minutes, most don’t last for more than ten. It is normal if your man comes faster than you, and that’s why it is so important that you both enjoy foreplay before he enters you. The closer you are to an orgasm before he enters you, the more likely it is that he will make you come with his penis.
- Have fun together! Sex is fun and should be enjoyed on equal terms.
I hope this short article has helped you in some way or form. After my disastrous first times, it took me a year until I did it again, and that time was fantastic!
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