On an initial session, subs are a ball of nerves, scared, excited and to be aroused. Know your slave well before you start to go extreme on a client. A bad first session with a client can sour them from wanting to become your forever slave. Many new subs have expressed to me, that they didn’t rebook with a certain dominatrix because they were turned off initially in some way. The approach was too extreme for the level of trust established.
Developing a bond with your slave is the most important before you can dive deeper into pushing limits. A dominant doesn’t have to use heavy handed “scary” domination antics to make a slave obedient. Naturally exploring more limits will enhance the D/s bond, in turn making the obedience of your submissive stronger. They really just want a dominant who listens, while diving into their psyche of what he/she needs. Some clients have suppressed their fetish needs too long. When a sub finds a dominant who listens and understands them, they will willingly submit. It’s very special when both find each other and their play enjoyments match up. You can win the admiration from your sub by taking the time to mentally stimulate them before going extreme physically.
Becoming a great Master, knowing your subject so well, like an instrument. Being in tune with it at all times during play. I prefer training slaves that need their fetish itch fixed regularly. Sessioning frequently over time makes power exchange sessions better. Limits can be pushed more in the D/s relationship as the bond becomes stronger. I now know my Subs’s well and I am able to read how they are feeling without using any words. Watching how the body reacts when I perform a certain act or command depends on how u dive deep into their needs. Their deep rooted fetish needs become apparent the more time is invested in training them. Long term D/s relationships are extra rewarding than just sessioning once. My slaves are able to bring new ideas for play to the table but I make the final decision if it’s a go or not. I encourage suggestions. Obedience is all relative. If the sub resists submitting to me in a training situation, I get frustrated. That just leads me to push limits to breaking that sub. The more resistance, the more control I exert and it can be tedious work to train a sub into obedience. It takes time and patience on both sides for the D/s relationship to keep going. Subs must be sure not to be fickle on how they want to be dominated or it can be pointless to work with them if they won’t fully submit.
For example, I had this one financial slave say he wanted me to control all of his finances. Though every time we set up a meeting, he would cancel or not show up. Then months later, he contacted me again saying he got scared to give up full financial control to me. A serious sub will not hesitate to meet with the Dominant. They will accomplish any task the dominant shells out to the best of their ability. Certain fantasies that people hold just don’t always cross over into reality like they thought it would. A dominatrix is not a miracle worker. Unless full submittal happens on the subs, part training will go nowhere as Subs must know what they want out of a session prior to contacting me. I request to know every aspect of their daily life before training starts. Ultimately, that’s is how I determine my approach for training for that client. For example, if an alpha switch comes to me for a session, I have to be even more stern during training. Many alpha switches are drawn to me as a dominant. Alphas need a break from not being in charge but old habits die hard. They become stuck hard to break off their naturally demanding ways. That’s when I get heavy handed. Still, some are unable to fully enjoy or get into sub space mentally and physically. I have to discharge them. Switches are the most challenging types of clients but exciting to train.
Featured image courtesy of Shutterstock
Have an amazing experience or tips you like to share on SimplySxy? Drop us an email at editorial@SimplySxy.com!