I would like to think that I have fairly open views concerning sexuality. Sex is a very important part of life, and a key ingredient in any healthy relationship. I think that sex is often given a bad rep in the media, and that people who step outside of what is considered ‘polite’ by hetero-normative standards are often punished for defying the status quo. I wish North Americans had more liberal views towards nudity and the human body; that we spent more time admiring its beauty rather than oscillating between the polar extremes of body/slut shaming and hyper sexualization.
It’s hard for me to pin down the kind of sex that I like, variety being the spice of life. I most enjoy when a partner is open, spontaneous and playful. It is great that so many men find arousing their partners incredibly sexy, so not much to complain about there!
How he should thrust during sex
It is always better (in my opinion) to build up the pace of thrusting during sex rather than come out of the gate swinging. If you start at your max pace, you have nowhere to go from there. The speed and style of your foreplay should give you an indication of how to begin. If the lead up was slow and sensual, you’ll want to start at a slower pace. If however, your foreplay was passionate and involved, then you can go for more gusto right from the get-go. Her behavior will also let you know how quickly and or deep she wants you to thrust. A woman who is pushing on your lower back, or has both of her hands on your hips is generally signaling that she either likes the pace, or is indicating for you to thrust harder. Of course, if she says something along the lines of ‘harder’ or ‘faster’, it’s a pretty safe bet that you can step things up. A hand on the chest is an obvious sign to slow down if she is bracing against you.
Once into the swing of things, I prefer a guy to pick up the pace, at which point thrusting deeper is usually appreciated. It helps to wait until a woman is really wet for this, so that the sex is comfortable and deeper thrusting doesn’t result is her being uncomfortable. Going deep but slowly is a great sensation, especially if you grind your pelvis into your ladies. The pressure of going deep coupled with clitoral stimulation is a great combination.
If she comes first (congratulate yourself, modern gentleman), slow the pace until she has caught her breath (literally and metaphorically). Many women, myself included, are very sensitive after an orgasm and intense pressure can feel awkward.
My favorite position
If you can line it up where the man is standing (usually in front of the bed) and the woman is lying down then that makes for a great position to go deep and fast. If you can grab under the woman’s pelvis and lift her up it allows you to go much deeper than if she simply laid back.
Sometimes, the roles are reversed
I am all about gender equality. I prefer to set the pace when I am on top, it’s one of the reasons I like the position so much. Plus, it is nice to be able to lay back sometimes and just enjoy the moment, and I really like to be able to give that pleasure to my partner.
Kate Anderson is available for Skype shows by request and you can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow her at her website kateanderson.modelcentro.com or on Twitter https://twitter.com/kateandersonwa
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