Honestly, it all depends on what you consider “foreplay.” I would consider it to be the various things people do to prepare each other for physical intimacy. Some women like to start with a strip-tease, some guys might like to ease into it by giving their partner a massage, and for some couples, it might involve something a little more elaborate.
However, I think my definition of foreplay isn’t all that popular. The word “foreplay” is commonly used as a catch-all for anything that happens before the moment when a penis enters a vagina, but I don’t think that’s really fair. It pre-supposes that the only “real sex” is sex that happens when a penis is inside a vagina, and everything else is “just foreplay.” “Sex” isn’t just one very specific activity—well, at least good sex isn’t. We all know it’s a lot more than that.
Good sex can include a multitude of various activities: cunnilingus, fellatio, fingering, mutual masturbation, anal play, kissing, massage, breast worship, etc. And those activities don’t always happen before intercourse. Haven’t you ever stopped to change positions from, say, doggystyle to missionary, and upon glimpsing a flash of pussy, decided that instead you’d like to go down for a bit? Let’s stop thinking of sex as something formulaic and instead appreciate the spontaneous nature of it.
That being said, there are reasons that people often do “other things” before the initial penetration. Intercourse just works better if a guy’s dick is rock hard and a girl’s pussy is nice and wet. Personally, I find subtle physical flirtation a huge turn-on. If the conversation’s going well and someone can find a little excuse to touch me—nothing major, just something small and subtle—I find that a huge turn-on, and if it’s done right by someone from whom I welcome the attention, I’ll feel myself getting wet even before I’ve dropped my panties. And what’s even better is that it makes it difficult for me to resist the urge to touch them back, and since I’m already turned on, I’ll be a bit more…assertive. For example, I find it super hot to move from subtle, flirtatious touching to some light, playful kisses, and then to a deep kiss with my body pressed up against his so that I can feel his bulge against me. I like to slip my hand down outside of his pants to feel if he’s hard, and if he’s not, I like to feel his dick begin to get hard as I stroke it through his pants. Just feeling his cock grow for me gets me going, and at that point, if the gentleman is holding back, I might just throw him down and jump on. HOT. And let me remind you that, at this point, we still have our clothes on.
After that, I really love undressing a guy. I find it really sensual to take a man’s clothes off. Maybe it’s a power thing: I love when a man relinquishes that power to me and lets me be the one to unwrap him. And don’t forget that we all love flattery. People are at their most vulnerable when they’re naked, and we all want our partners to appreciate and enjoy our bodies as the beautiful tools of pleasure that they are. So this is a great time to compliment the matching bra and panties I might be wearing! And ladies, the same goes for your guy. Guys love compliments just as much as we do.
Some people love the art of tease. I appreciate it myself, though sometimes I find it really, really hard to hold back. But if you can manage it, you’re likely to have a really mind-blowing orgasm once you finally let go. So, if that’s the route you want to go, try a little massage. And maybe not in the traditional sense—get creative. Climb on top of your guy and massage his shoulders and arms from the front, ever-so-slightly grinding against his cock, but don’t let him touch you. Watch his face. If he seems like he’s really, really enjoying it, like he’s dying to put his cock inside you, well, try backing off a bit—if you can bear it! Take one of his hands and glide his fingers between your thighs, letting him feel how hot and wet you are for him. If neither of you is quite “there” yet, well, everyone loves oral, and I’ve found that it’s a surefire way to get each other physically “ready” for penetration.
But don’t get stuck in a rut—do what feels right, of course, but remember that it’s OK to switch things up. Suck his cock for a bit and then put him inside you. If you can muster the self-discipline, go back to sucking it after a bit, or perhaps try 69 for a while. Or, if your guy’s into ass play, this might be a good opportunity to grab the lube and give him a prostate massage (but watch out—this tends to make men come really quickly!). When he’s coming close to orgasm, ask him to do something for you suck your nipples, perhaps, while you stroke his cock. At some point, neither of you will be able to hold on any longer—just remember, there’s no “right” order to enjoy the things you and your partner enjoy, and there isn’t one “right” way to have sex. With some creativity and communication with your partner, there are infinite roads to Orgasm Town. 😉
I’m Annie, and I’m an professional companion and escort in New Orleans. I’m also a writer, an artist, a Dr. Who fan, a seafood lover, and a friend to big, goofy dogs everywhere. I maintain a blog on my website, NOLAcourtesan.com. Check out my profile below and more of my links!
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