Before I begin, I want all of the non-sex workers to realize that this article isn’t meant to be in rude or unkind. If you’re feeling a bit offended by this, just put yourself in our shoes. Being asked uninformed, annoying, and sometimes borderline offensive questions gets very old very quick. We just want you all to be informed.
Do your parents know about what you do?
To the naive eye, this seems like a harmless question. For some, it is. For others, it isn’t. Every family is different, and not everyone’s parents are open minded. For those people, it might be a very sore subject. Bringing it up time and time again can stir up some pretty harsh memories. It’s best to just leave it alone. If they’re open to talk about it, they will on their own, without strangers prodding about it.
Why don’t you get a real job?
Okay, we all know you’re not saying this out of curiousity because you’re straight up saying that what we do isn’t real work. That isn’t okay, and it definitely isn’t for you to say whether or not Sex Work is ~real work~. We pay taxes, just like you. We work hard every day, just like you. If you think otherwise, take a walk in our shoes for a day. Seriously, don’t ask this question. It’s hateful and rude.
What will you do when you get too old for sex work?
None of us were aware that sex work had an age limit. You should probably tell Dita Von Teese, who turns 43 this year. I’ve heard a range of different ages that people believe women should quit sex work. 50. 25. 34. 23. Seriously, stop. You never hear “what will you do when you get too old to be a Chef?” or “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be a customer service provider?” now do you? Stop asking us this. Sex Work does not have an age limit, just in the same way that any other job doesn’t have an age limit.
How can I do what you do?
As someone who entered the industry with no help, started with no help, and gained a following with no help; I don’t understand the point of this question. It’s not rocket science. You join a site. You produce content. You market yourself. There’s no magical secret to it. You have to be independent, unique, and business savvy. None of us can do that for you and not a single one of us want to spoon feed you because none of us were spoon fed. Furthermore, nothing we can say will guarantee that you’ll even be successful because there are a lot of personal factors that come into play when it comes to being successful as a sex work. What works for me might not work for you. Stop wasting your time asking this question and spend a little more time doing personal research and getting into the field.
Is your significant other okay with you doing sex work?
Why do you care? Seriously, what compels you to ask this? Trust me, most of us wouldn’t be with the people we’re with if they didn’t approve. Furthermore, I’d like to add that NO ONE should ever allow their significant other to control their decisions (considering that they’re not harmful to them, which sex work is NOT, no matter how much people try to paint it otherwise). You need a partner, not a parent.
Do you like your job?
While a lot of Sex Workers love the job, not all Sex Workers are crazy about it or see it as a career. Some do it for survival rather than passion (which doesn’t necessarily mean that the two are mutually exclusive). Furthermore, why do we have to like it? Why are we required to enjoy our job when no one else is? No one bats an eye when someone working a Non-Sex Work job complains about their work, but when we even make the smallest complaints, we recieve such horrible backlash.
Does your job make you feel dehumanized?
Let me ask you; would you ask this of someone that worked a vanilla job? Why are we required to constantly explain to complete strangers why our jobs don’t dehumanize us? It almost seems like we’re always required to remind YOU that we’re humans. You wouldn’t even ask a non-nude model this, despite the fact that the job is exceedingly similar. Personally, I’ve never found the job dehumanizing, but I definitely find this question dehumanizing. It is rude, and it’s silly. It’d probably be best if you didn’t ask this anymore.
Don’t you think you’re too pretty for sex work?
Come on. A pretty big portion of the job is based on appearance. Do you really think this is a smart question?
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. These are only the few of the questions you should probably refrain from asking. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of us love talking about the job, but in a positive light. Most of the questions above can come across as mean spirited, and sometimes they are. Please take that into consideration before you attempt to ask us anything. Furthermore, I’d like to thank Espi Kvlt and AurraSing for their helpful input. You can check them both out on their tumblr pages.
Feature image courtesy of Shutterstock
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