Things Every Girl Can Learn from Porn Stars

Hello everyone at SimplySxy.com! My name is Rachael Madori and I’m an adult performer from New York City but will soon be relocating to Los Angeles for my career. I’ve been in this line of work for about seven months which seems short but seven months is a good amount of time to learn the ropes and get a good grip of what this job entails. Personally I’m a low-key kind of girl. I enjoy my time away from shooting porn by working out at my gym, reading whatever book has caught my eye and exploring the ever changing city of New York with my boyfriend. I’m also a serious foodie and avid blogger. I’m really excited to be writing this piece because I always say that my favorite thing about being an adult actress is that I can speak on many subjects surrounding this industry. I want to speak to the women who are not in front of the camera. Hopefully I’ll be able to clear up some rumors, squash some misconceptions and bring to light some things that every girl can learn from a porn star.

I’m going to start off my talking about some of the misconceptions that have been brought to my attention and that I myself had developed from watching porn before I became a part of the industry. First let’s talk about pubic hair. As I was growing up, I always thought it was disgusting and the opposite of sexy to have any pubic hair between my legs. Porn made me think so. However, there is so much porn showing women sporting little patches or full blown bush. As my manager and many directors are saying nowadays: “Bush is in!” Whatever your preference is for your vagina don’t ever let the idea that clean shaven is the only way to look sexy. I have been as smooth as a baby down there ever since I was fourteen years old and in the past few months I’ve been sporting a cute triangle patch and have never felt more hot. It’s honestly a preference and I’m strangely proud of my hair down there. I feel about my bush the way men feel about their beards. So whatever your preference is: own it and feel sexy.

The second misconception I want to bring to light is the truth about foreplay. I feel as if men will watch porn and obviously the sex doesn’t happen an hour into the video, it happens within the first few minutes most of the time. This creates a weird idea that in the real world when a man and woman are ready to have sex he can just finger jam you for a few seconds and then stick his dick inside of you. Foreplay isn’t necessary in porn. It is in real life. Men and women alike need to understand a pussy isn’t always ready and a penis isn’t always up and running. The illusion of zero foreplay in porn exists because while the camera isn’t running that’s where the foreplay is. The male talent is getting his dick up and hard while I’m getting my vagina wet and willing. If I’m not feeling it that day there is a magical thing called lube that you don’t see me use on camera but honey, a porn set without lube is not a porn set. So let’s nip the idea that foreplay isn’t needed in the butt. When I’m having sex in real life, off set, it’s the time before I let him inside me that is really hot. The anticipation. Your job of pleasing him. His job of turning you on. It’s very important. 

This next idea that porn makes people drastically underestimate is anal. I don’t know how many times I’ve met men that think having anal sex in real life should be just as easy as it looks in a porno. I’m sorry but I love anal in my personal life and it is no where near what I experience shooting it on set. Some people aren’t even aware that you must use lube when putting anything inside of your ass. In porn, there is so much preparation before an anal scene. We use butt plugs going up in size to make our butt more comfortable with having large things put inside of it. We use enemas to clean out our assholes and make sure there isn’t a mess. This isn’t always the case either. Accidents happen. When you start sticking things in odd places that technically weren’t meant to have things stuck inside them you can’t be surprised when someone shits on you. The difference is when accidents happens in porn you don’t see it in the video. When accidents happen in real life, you can’t yell cut and have your personal assistant clean up the mess. Anal takes time, practice, a lot of lube and a lot of trust. Don’t ever let someone expect you to take a dick in the ass like an anal queen on Brazzers.

This one is for anyone interested in penises. One of the biggest misconceptions porn brings to people outside of the industry is penis size. I’m sorry but eleven inches is not the average dick length. I’ve met women and men alike who see a seven inch penis and consider it below average and small. Not only are there drugs to keep dicks going strong for hours on end but the pool of men in porn are not the “average” guy. Also, the idea that only a giant cock can please a woman is so far off from the truth it upsets me when men become self-conscious because of the types of men I work with on set. Being confident in yourself is the number one way to have great sex. Watching porn and comparing yourself to a small pool of men who happen to have larger than average dicks is only detrimental to your self-esteem and pretty illogical. 

The last thing I want to talk about that seems great in a porno but not so great in real life is the sex positions. I’m a little torn on this subject only because I think it is extremely important to not keep doing missionary every time you have sex. Personally I think if you do this it will end up boring one or both of you. However, if you watch porn and think your girl will take your dick in a pile-driver position for half an hour, you’re also wrong. The thing about porn is if I’m put in a difficult position to hold such as reverse cowgirl or wheel-barrow I am only holding that motion for five minutes, tops. So, although it is very important to keep sex fun and engaging please don’t expect your girl or guy to hold an absurd position for too long because you see them doing it in a porno. Remember I get to cut camera, stretch it out and return to the position later. You don’t.

Now it’s time for me to talk about some truthful things that porn can teach you. The first and foremost thing you should learn is the women and/or men in the video are confident in their abilities and you should be too. I don’t have the perfect body, I don’t suck dick the perfect way, I can’t ride a dick perfectly and I’m not always that great at doing a sexy strip tease. The important thing is I am still confident. Porn has taught me to love my body and to love all the things it’s capable of. So what if you can’t deep throat an eleven inch penis? You would be surprised at the lists some performers have of what they can’t do and they don’t beat themselves up over it. The women and men I’ve met in the industry have confidence to them even though they know they aren’t perfect. You have these men and women getting in front of dozens of people in a room and exposing themselves to the most invasive and personal form of criticism. If they can do this, you can be confident enough in yourself and non-judgmental of your partner.

The next thing porn shows that is truthful is variety! No, not all the positions are easy or even doable for an extended period of time but the point is to spice things up. You never see the same position through an entire porno. That would be boring to watch and it’s boring to do. You don’t have to go crazy and have your man screw you doggie style while you hang halfway out of a window but it’s important to keep things interesting. You and your partner could watch a porn and find a new position you’ve never tried that doesn’t look too difficult. Tell him you want to try it out and you won’t be surprised when he gets excited. Being adventurous and willing to try new things in the bedroom is a huge reason I love creating the porn I create. Sometimes I picture a couple watching one of my videos and being inspired by something I do which leads them into the bedroom. Sex is such a raw and natural phenomenon that finding new ways to experience it is beautiful. Maybe you could buy a new kind of toy for him or her. Experiment with different lubes, dick rings, vibrators, blindfolds or handcuffs. You never know what freaky desires you’ll find deep inside yourself and your partner.

Another truth that you don’t see on camera but I feel inclined to talk about is sexual boundaries. Whatever happens in a porn video is consensual and agreed upon by both the man and woman. This is always how it should be in real life. Just as I’m never afraid to stand up and make very clear what I am and am not okay with, you should feel equally as convicted about your boundaries. I would never let a fellow talent, director or producer push me to do anything I wasn’t willing to do or try. You should always know your worth and your limits. It’s extremely important when engaging in anything sexual. Your body is the most personal thing you have and it shouldn’t be taken for granted. I love trying crazy new things but there are always safe words, a mutual understanding of what exactly is too far and there is trust. Make sure this is the case in real life too.

Now let’s talk about dirty talk. If you think dirty talk is just for the porn stars, you’re wrong. We talk every minute of every day. It’s our form of communication. Why wouldn’t we use it to our advantage while we do the most personal thing in the world? A lot of my girl friends that are not in the industry tell me: “I know you dirty talk on video, but you don’t do it at home with your man right? It’s just porn talk.” That’s not the case! Don’t feel weird shouting the things that come to your mind while you’re having sex. I mean as long as it’s not someone else’s name. Personally I think dirty talk drives men crazy but I’m not a man so I can’t vouch. Even if it’s not dirty talk don’t feel weird telling them to keep hitting the same spot, move to the left or smack your ass. I don’t shout a script in my videos, I say what my body wants me to say. Embrace your ability to communicate!

The last thing porn can teach you is HAVE FUN. Unless you’re watching a very hardcore and dominating scene everyone in the video is usually having a steamy good time. Let that slutty side come out in the bedroom. Embrace your inner carnal instincts like the ones you see on camera. Don’t feel weird yelling out, scratching his back and getting lost in each others’ bodies. Porn should be sexual inspiration not a video reminding you what you can’t do. I love the movies I create because I’m giving my fans and anyone who watches it a fantasy. Sex is nothing to be embarrassed of, nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to feel weird about. Whether you’re prude by nature or a down right slut: own who you are. The porn stars you see have completely accepted their natural feminine sexuality and embodied it. You are no different in this aspect! What a girl can learn from porn stars is that wether we’re on camera or behind closed doors our sexuality is undeniable, it deserves to be explored and it is nothing to be ashamed of and you are just the same.

I really hope I’ve cleared up some things about porn and porn stars. It’s really important to me to break down the negative stigmas surrounding the sex industry and bring to light that porn stars are normal women too. We’re not here to make others feel inadequate, we’re here to inspire sexuality. Let’s not forget that pornography is filmed and edited, real life isn’t! Be proud of your body, your abilities and don’t judge your sexual partner too harshly. We’re all here on this Earth, enjoying each others bodies and our own.

More of Rachael’s works:
“Barbarella XXX: an Axel Braun Parody” for Wicked Pictures: Coming soon!
“Down The Throat 3” for New Sensations: Coming out 2/26!
“Back Up Plan” for Porn Fidelity: Out now!
“Let’s Try Anal” for Mofos: Out now!

Image courtesy of Rachael Madori
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