Cross dressing is not in itself an act of submission. It has different meanings for everyone who puts on (or gets put in) typically feminine clothing. It is a mask for some and a reveal for others. The particular way I enjoy playing with it is through the lens of dominance and submission. I would like to share what I do and what I get out of it, and what I imagine my partners get out of it.
I like to make male identified people (referred to as men from here on) wear girls’ panties. A man with no clothes on is still a man, but when I begin to dress him, his masculine identity melts away. Of course the newly minted she has no experience being a girl, so it is up to me to train her, give her tips and tricks on being girlish. In this play I use the word ‘girl’ to mean someone inexperienced, naive, and fairly dumb. She has no power, she is a flimsy stereotype, and she is very slutty.
Lace garters and dainty stockings frame and perk up her bum so sweetly. A corset defines her waist, perhaps shoes are slipped on to lengthen and slim the legs. These clothes are confining; they restrict and streamline movement to force her body into a more female pose. Sometimes make up is necessary and depending on the mood of the scene, I will paint her face carefully (the elegant missy) or crudely (the sloppy tart). Wigs have an incredible effect on framing and softening an angular face. What used to be considered male genitalia, I know refer to as a deformed or engorged clitoris. There are a rare, dedicated few who will take the extra step to receive a temporary—and very safe—breast augmentation with a saline infusion.
The man has disappeared completely. He is locked behind the identity I have forced or coerced him into. She is my sissy.
As I dress and powder the girl, I talk her into a state where she understands what her duties are: to be demure and polite, to obey whatever demand is made of her, and know that she deserves whatever she gets. She is “asking for it” by looking the way she does. It can feel very humiliating.
Anything can happen from here, from runway coaching to gestures, seduction techniques to slut training. We may simply sit in the parlour and have tea. I may want to see them spread themselves out before me. Wherever the scene goes, the underlying idea is that I have transformed a man into something I find pleasing and quite amusing, and I am using her as my plaything.
If this is something you’d like to explore for the first time, I recommend starting with underwear. It’s easy to find and quick to take off if it gets uncomfortable. If the notion of getting a hold of feminine underpants is not where you or your partner are at, start by playing with language. Wiggle those hips and play on.
Mistress Isobel is a lifestyle and professional Dominatrix from England. She is living in Toronto, a gloriously kinky town. She has been exploring BDSM for 6 years and is always learning new ways to get into people’s heads via their body. With a respect for strict traditions and a spirit of cheeky fun, she whispers to the secret part of you that wants to stretch out and play.
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Feature image courtesy of Mistress Isobel
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