Taboo Fetishes: Women in Bondage and the Men (and Women) who love them (Part II)

My Introduction to Bondage

I myself came upon bondage at an early age, but wasn’t that particularly enamored with it until high school and it involved my first real sexual encounter. I had compulsive thoughts even at a very young age and often fantasized about my sexy gym teacher with tape over her mouth or found myself staring if a pretty girl covered her own mouth suddenly. Initially, the mouth and gag interested me more than the bondage itself, although handcuffs had a simple sexy appeal. It wasn’t the act of silencing someone that drew my attention, but rather how it looked and felt when I covered a girl’s lips with my hand. Regardless, my “first” was auspiciously perhaps my ideal match in terms of being kinky. She was simultaneously adventurous and sexually submissive (as a counter to my sexual dominance, which I could shut on and off depending upon whether I had a willing partner) and this early experience helped shape my own sexual desires. Without going into too much detail, she enjoyed “rough sex” (think the opposite of candles, soft music and caressing) and when I pushed her against a wall, pinned her hands or guided them to where I wanted, covered her mouth when she got loud, she felt a heightened sense of lust that easily matched my own. Her being turned on turned me on! This is in contrast to when I tried this with other potential mates who might respond with something like, “This is too rough, please be gentle.”

If my partner wanted gentle and conventionally romantic I generally would disengage and make some excuse to call it a night. I meant no offense, but we all have needs and if you want gentle, then I was the wrong guy. If a potential mate wanted rough and messy (with still some level of romance such as cuddling and so on afterwards), then I was always game. These experiences shaped my sexual preferences, which always involved a willing submissive who enjoyed herself as much as I did. I am intrinsically an egalitarian who believes everyone has equal rights and so on and whatever people do should be with a willing mindset free of coercion or manipulation (charisma being something of a wildcard in this regard!). In fact, to this day, I am incapable of being with someone who isn’t into being a submissive as I’ve learned over and over again and have come to accept this. In certain respects, I have joked that having a fetish is a kind of handicap as it limits the number of partners one can be intimate with. Still this was all the beginning of my experience with bondage other than handcuffs and perhaps a piece of tape slapped over a willing partner’s luscious pouting lips and I never really delved very far into bondage until well into college.

Once in college, I at times felt lost in terms of what career-path I would take (a perpetual aspect of young Americans), but my journey into bondage continued when I discovered bondage magazines. The first time was at, of all places, a comic-book convention. As I walked past various stalls I noticed a man wearing sunglasses indoors who looked as if he could have been Disco Stu’s straight-haired cousin. I then gazed at his stall and couldn’t look away. He noticed me looking at his wares and commented on how vendors around him were giving him a hard time for trying to sell bondage magazines alongside comic-books depicting women in bondage and other underground fare. He quipped some clichés as I barely paid attention that I only recall in paraphrase form: “It’s a free country, right? Not like I’m hurting anyone. People are so intolerant I swear.” My heart raced as I stared at some of the magazines while he kept talking about being persecuted.

I quickly grabbed several magazines depicting beautiful women bound and gagged in numerous photo-spreads and paid for them before my friends saw where I was. Outside, after the convention shut its doors, my roommate asked to see what I had bought and I made the excuse that the packaging was fragile and I’d show him later. He eyed me suspiciously, but was too preoccupied with his own purchases to care. The bondage magazines were from the 1980s and early 90s mostly and in relatively good condition. Numerous bondage models (some of whom I even met and shot years later even if they were past their prime while still in remarkably good shape!) were depicted bound, gagged and sometimes getting fondled, largely by other women, but also sometimes by men. Suffice it to say the magazines caused a torrent of masturbation on my part until I foolishly took the magazines (and others I bought through the mail) home during the summer and hid them behind my bed until one day they all disappeared. Clearly, my mother had found them while cleaning my room and had decided to do me a “favor” and throw them out. She never spoke of them to me, her son whom she loved unconditionally, and I never brought it up.

The internet allowed me to further explore bondage videos at length and years later, through various circumstances involving a dominatrix (who actually preferred being a submissive in her personal life, in an ironic twist). We met in a bar and dated for a time, and came upon a video distributor at a fetish nightclub who expressed interest in any videos my ex and I could produce. We then proceeded to shoot some videos with her bound, gagged and getting molested by yours truly wearing a mask, but then we broke up and she decided that the videos were her property. I, however, kept shooting and somehow ended up producing videos at a regular rate while still living my “regular” life with school and a conventional job. My life became a bifurcated existence as I even developed two sets of friends. One group including my family and associates I’ve known for years who never knew what I was up to in my “other” life while the other were my kinky cohorts. Relationships became tricky with lying almost an afterthought and is something that bothers me to this day. It’s not just the fear of getting caught, but rather the lies imply a lack of trust in others and is definitely not a healthy way to exist. With that said, my life as a bondage producer has been far from bleak so much as filled with ebbs and flows like everyone else. If we don’t have bad times, how would we be able to discern the good after-all? After-all I’ve had some relatively rare negative experiences with models who suddenly decided they couldn’t take bondage (and we end the shoot unless they demanded full payment and wanted to continue somehow) and there have been women I wanted to have relationships with, but without some kind of kinky play, it felt incomplete.

The current state of Bondage “porn”

Many fetish models I have known, who do not work in conventional porn (as in they do not engage in sexual acts with males or females even), often regard bondage as its own category that is something akin to an R-rated movie to others who view it as softcore porn. The definition is a loose one and a matter of interpretation, but there is an overt sexual appeal meant to create excitement amongst viewers, which would qualify bondage as a type of porn. In fact, conventional pornographers overlap with bondage producers (as the depiction of bondage as kinky foreplay is common) although the two often diverge when it comes to the depiction of sex acts. Both are numerous today thanks to the internet (unlike the past when a handful of producers dominated the industry and displayed their wares in adult movie theaters as well as mail order VHS/DVD sales). Today’s bondage producers range from amateurs who shoot videos for self-gratification to those who run highly successful companies that produce videos covering the entire range of BDSM (including female domination of men/women, gay bondage, and sadomasochism as well as depicting sex acts engaged in while one subject is in bondage). Add to this the multitude of producers in Japan, Europe, Russia, China, Brazil, Australia and so forth and it is clear that this is a fairly popular form of adult entertainment worldwide.

Producers are as diverse when it comes “style” (i.e. how they depict women in bondage) as the means they employ. Bondage equipment and the style one uses can be quite distinctive and is another important component to consider. Rope bondage is generally the most celebrated and includes a simple binding of the wrists and ankles to complex suspensions (in which a model is bound and elevated off the ground), shibari (the Japanese artistic form of bondage with its intricate rope patterns), and Chinese bondage, which often involves a certain style of its own (usually putting females in positions that are difficult to remain in for very long). Alongside rope bondage are other means of restraint such as leather straps, shackles, cages and tape (often used to “mummify” a model). Consumers may enjoy all of these forms or just one in particular.

An example of a difficult behind the back Chinese form of bondage that looks easier than it is. Endured with grace by the talented.

Often (but not always) crucial to bondage is the gag, which creates the impression of silencing the subject so that they can’t cry out for help or object to how they are being treated. This is often the case in roleplaying “damsel in distress” fantasy scenarios, but for many bondage enthusiasts it’s also an aesthetic appeal that somehow enhances the beauty of a model. The ballgag is perhaps the most identified with bondage porn and has shown up in popular depictions such as in Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction. Usually strapped in tight so that the model drools involuntarily, it has an oral aspect to it that appeals to many in lieu of fellatio. Closely related are other gags that pry open the mouth such as “ring” gags, dental gags, penis gags (dildo shaped on one end and leather paneled on the other) and so forth. Ballgags are often part of panel gags that are strapped over the mouth with a ball stuffed in the subject’s mouth. Cleave-gags are also common and particularly widespread in mass media depictions of women in bondage and involve a cloth tied in-between the lips and teeth so that the subject is muffled, but can still talk to some extent. If the mouth is stuffed, this gag form becomes much more effective and the stuffing can get a bit more “humiliating” if it’s in the form of panties. Finally, there is the use of the tapegag, also common in media portrayals of damsels in distress. Tapegags vary from a simple piece of tape slapped over the lips to the more intense wraparound tapegag, which involves placing tape over the mouth and wrapping it around the head several times. Add to this sometimes simply placing a hand over the subject’s mouth to silence them (the handgag or “hom” hand over mouth; yes there are terms for everything in bondage!) and numerous other unconventional methods such as stuffing a rag in the mouth (common with Chinese bondage) or even using an apple and other fruits.

Lovely fetish models Felicity (left) and Randy Moore (right) illustrating the unconventional apple gag!

Once placed in bondage, the subject becomes many different things. The person doing the tying is often referred to as the dominant (and “rigger”) and may wish to interact with the subject or simply exist as a voyeur. The voyeur gains some level of arousal when watching the subject struggle and is drawn to the perceived beauty of the model in captivity. Here, the objectification is somewhat blatant, but also morphs into a form of “worship.” While dominatrixes often seek reverence in some form, the body worship of a bondage model is different in certain respects. The model attains a level of enhanced and intense desirability when in bondage, something many models I’ve known do enjoy. The attention directed at the subject is perhaps the most relatable dimension of bondage and some models even go into a trance-like state as they revel in “submission” (or sub-space as some would term it). Thus, is the bondage model simply an object or a being of intense desire? For me it’s always been the latter.

The model can be many things to the viewer and conveys this multifaceted aspect in terms of story-lines or the lack thereof if one wishes to simply focus on the bondage act. Still, numerous tropes are used by producers to add a sense of “realism” or simply function as an outlet for creativity, with the most common plot device being the “damsel in distress.” This theme harkens back to such clichés as the female bound to the railroad tracks as a villain dressed like some hackneyed magician twirls his mustache whilst the hero rushes to the rescue. The damsel is often in some kind of “peril” due to some melodramatic plot device and ends up tied up. Ancillary fetishes such as pantyhose, stockings, garter belts, and high heels are common simply due to their early usage which has seeped into the collective consciousness of bondage enthusiasts. The damsel can take on many forms including that of a secretary, nurse, librarian or even a CEO. And with the rise in popularity of comic-books, the superheroine is often a subject personifying both female empowerment (which is sexy to many) and once again an intensely attractive bondage captive as well. To engage audiences sometimes a beautiful bondage model isn’t enough and some story is required regardless of its absurd unlikely nature.

Bondage themes can also involve more “ominmous” tones and story-lines with physical interaction at play. For many lifestyle players, the parties might agree to engage in rougher bondage that involves nudity and physical interaction. This can sometimes include sex or sexual acts (such as using a vibrator upon the bondage subject and thus confusing her feelings of helplessness and pleasure until she associates pleasure with confinement). To emphasize that this is in fact roleplaying, it is important to understand the issue of consent or more accurately consensual non-consent (or the subject pretending that she is “resisting” when in reality she is simply playing the role of victim). For some producers they are quite content with simply admiring the bound female form, while others prefer a more interactive approach that is again a matter of preference. I go for the latter myself minus the actual sex as I am not only a voyeur but also view myself as a participating dominant.

The damsel in distress (portrayed with elegance by Brooke Haven) can take on darker tones while maintaining an aesthetic appeal.

The preferences of all parties involved (model, producer and viewer) are important considerations here. Viewers often want to see very specific things or are content to follow the general themes (capture, placed in bondage, left to struggle, harassed in some way and some conclusion). Bondage porn was once relegated to adult theaters showing sexploitation porn and adult bookstores with their prerequisite sticky viewing booths. Today the internet has truly changed everything including adult entertainment. For some big producers it has diluted their profits, but for most it has created more competition, a wider audience and diversification to cater to every niche fetish there is. What’s more, for those who do it for “fun,” bondage is an activity they can enjoy with many willing subjects they find through social networking sites as well as adult-themed conventions.

As a producer I find certain aspects fun and have had the pleasure of meeting some interesting people along the way. It is a business though and for those of us choose to run it as such it can blur the lines between working and leisure-time. You have to truly love what you do to not view the routine as a job, but there is work involved, particularly the scheduling and editing process.

The tedious aspects aside, for me this has all been at times surreal. Leading a double life to avoid public scrutiny is definitely not for everyone and yet what heterosexual male would not want to meet a multitude of sexually adventurous women? Not as action-packed and glamorous as it sounds I would say. Yet when chemistry is at play I have found myself drawn to the model, while maintaining a level of professionalism that can be at times difficult. During the shooting of videos, some models may find themselves turned on and express how they never realized just how “submissive” they are and yet these latent subs are often the most aggressive when it comes to interacting. Obviously, whatever happens between consenting adults after the “work” is done is another, at times, weirder matter. This is “sexy” work and sex is one of the basic human needs hardwired into us through millions of years of evolution. What happens when you turn it into something casual and a job? For me, a level of jadedness has emerged to the point that a beautiful naked woman is no longer a novelty or automatic turn-on. At times I even miss being a “civilian” who would get excited by a woman twirling her hair near me. Perhaps it is for this very reason that I often seek out partners outside of the industry simply to not feel as if it’s all staged somehow with my life and what I do merging into one. That’s not to say I’m not going to feel attraction at some level due to physical contact, but doing anything repetitively can change a person.

Stay tuned to tomorrow for Johnny’s real life interactions!

Images courtesy of Johnny D
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