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Masturbation: A Series on How to Get You Off (Part II)

Sex Ed

Masturbation: A Series on How to Get You Off (Part II)

Part 2 – Erogenous Mind

I’m going to turn you on. You need to be turned on before you have a rumble in the jungle or a play in the hay so let’s get together and get excited. Right now.

I’m not interested in your gender, your sexual preference or your body shape. I am interested in who you are and what makes you tick. I am fascinated by your humanness and captured by your ability to stay present with me in this moment. I am aroused by your sense of self and I am stirred by this connection we are developing right now. I’m horny. Are you horny?

See how simple that was? Notice how you feel now compared to how you felt before you started to read. This demonstrates the power of your imagination. This also shows you just how connected your body is to your imagination. Masturbating is not just about stimulating your cock/clit and cumming. Quickies are all well and good but come on—don’t you want more than that? (and incidentally, if you happen to not have genitals*, your entire body is an erogenous zone so stick with me kid, all will be revealed…). No, masturbation is like meditation; it’s about getting to know yourself.

Getting to know you is like getting to know your lover, it takes time, patience and a great deal of chocolate body paint.

Setting the Scene:

A few months ago, I posted a series about masturbation on my blog. As part of this series I discussed ‘Setting the Scene’ which involved taking a bubble bath, lighting candles, turning the bed sheets down etc. One of the comments from a fellow blogger saddened me: ‘Who has the time to do all that?’ I say it again: masturbation is like getting to know a lover. You are your own lover and would you not make the effort before making love to someone else? Then why not for yourself? What does it say about your self-esteem if you can’t be arsed? Exactly. So please take a few moments to set the scene (or ask your PA/carer/sex worker to do it for you):

  • Light some candles in your bedroom or wherever you prefer to make love to yourself
  • Scent the room using scented candles or use an aromatherapy burner (preferred)
  • Dim the lights/close the curtains/drapes
  • Put some preferred horny/romantic/steamy music on
  • Take a warm bath* with scented oils, preferably natural essential oils
  • Take your time, think about the room you have prepared waiting for you
  • Stimulate* your nipples, armpits, torso and earlobes by trickling water over them.
  • Gently wash your genitals using your hands/fingers and a soft cloth/sponge. Feel the difference and notice the change in sensation. Feel it. Even reading this now in preparation—feel it. Good isn’t it? I told you it would be.

I am not usually this prescriptive and you will probably never see me reaming off lists for you to follow again but I am deliberately making a point here—you really are worth this much effort. Furthermore, you really are worth taking your time over. When you lead up to your self pleasure in this way, it can only be a good thing. It can only tantalise you even more and send tingles shooting up your spine. It can only teach you just how much you deserve it. It’s like those butterflies in the stomach before a hot date or an exciting trip. Those butterflies that tell the rest of your body that something wonderful is about to happen … and yes, I’m going to do it again (leave you high and dry): until next time.

*Or ask your PA/carer/sex worker to do this for you. In the absence of genitals, stimulate other areas of your body in the same way. See how this feels and notice what changes occur from the stimulus of the water/cloth.

Matt xXx

NB Please seek medical advice before attempting the exercises mentioned in this article should you require this. Matt cannot be held responsible for any adverse effects experienced as a result of not taking this advice and this article is not to be used in replacement of medical, psychological or emotional support.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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Matt Chase

Matt Chase is a Sex Worker and Writer with professional training in Counselling and Psychotherapy. He is also an ex-nurse and so you can imagine how he makes the business of sex interesting. He believes that Sex Work is a Caring Profession. Matt, who is known as ‘Matt-at-Lotus’ to his clients, specialises in helping men to connect emotionally using touch, kink, breathing exercises and horny adventures. Matt believes passionately that you can make love on a one night stand and encourages men to explore this belief by putting it into practice. He works as a professional Escort, Sex Worker, Sexual Masseur and also writes on Sex and Relationships, Kink, Connecting Emotionally and Mental Health. He blogs at: and can be found at: He is based in Manchester UK and travels internationally.


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