Connect with us

“Hi, No String Attached, Right?”


“Hi, No String Attached, Right?”

My friend decided to download Growlr – a gay-dating app for chubby, cub, bears, and chaser. When he was setting up his profile, he had to ask me what the meaning of “No Strings Attached” is. He though he had to use his G-Strings to sexually attracts someone. Or he asks someone to use his G-Strings. I said “No, you are totally wrong.”

No Strings Attached is just a relationship that has no condition or contractual requirements, where two people decide to engage in a sexual relationship that has no ties or expectation with regards to finances, exclusivity or romance. Literally, there are no strings binding the two together. In other word, No Strings Attached is some kind of casual dating or friends with benefits.

“So, why would someone want to have a relationship like that,” he asked.

The most important thing when downloading a gay-dating app is, not to expect too much from someone that you have messaged. According to my experience, 80% of people profiles always states No Strings Attached. It is no doubt that gay culture is usually identified with finally-in-bed or casual sex. I have also installed Growlr, but since my profiles states Friends and not No String Attached, I did not receive many massages. Can be said that the signification of possibility to have sex is quite big?

The relation of no string attached is not always occurring with gays and lesbians. The straights people also have casual sex. One of my friends told me that she does not want to have a relationship with a man. She prefers to have a fuck buddy but she does not reject that someday she will get married and quit this kind of activities.

No strings Attached is not common in Southeast Asia, at least in Indonesia because the perfect relationship is a relationship based on love. The Indonesian culture is frown upon pre-marital sex, treasuring virginity is a must. But some Indonesians who live in big cities, like in Jakarta, are for them as they do not see it as big deal. The No strings Attached is nothing to do with the issues of virginity.

I am not trying to be an academic source. I only want to provide basic knowledge for peoples who do not understand No Strings Attached in the form of an ideology. So do not be surprised if one day you have friends that love this kind of relationship. They are not a slut! Because they know consciously choose what they want to do with their life.

My friend who downloaded Growlr gave a nod with a puzzled look. I said to him, “Do not be confused, you can fill your profile with whatever wish. If you want to have a fuck buddy, save sex and always use condom. It is up to you now!”

And he typed No Strings Attached!

Images courtesy of Shutterstock.
Join SimplySxy’s forum discussions now on Society
Do not miss another article on SimplySxy!  Follow us on Facebook and Twitter for our latest updates!

Dr. Wisnu Adihartono

Dr. Wisnu Adihartono received his Ph.D in sociology (gender studies, migration studies, family studies, and Southeast Asian studies) from École des Hautes Études en Sciences Sociales (EHESS), France. He wrote the articles for journals, the book reviews and the short articles for the website. He is the author of the book Migration et Soutien Familial. Le Cas des Gays Indonésiens à Paris (French version only). You can contact him at or


More in LGBTQ

To Top