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Five Boo-boos of Ginormous Boobs

Lifestyle

Five Boo-boos of Ginormous Boobs

To the guys out there who are reading this: you are not the only ones who are obsessed with boobies for girls are pretty concerned about our twin assets too, albeit on a very different level. I have always been fascinated by huge boobs and was even caught checking out a particular well-endowed friend’s cleavage once by my then ex-boyfriend for a very simple reason; my breasts resemble that of a flat runway and I have always admired those who pull off dresses with plunging necklines. That said, a set of hefty racks comes with its own cons too. While this may seem especially self-comforting, here are five reasons that us flat-chested ladies might want to reconsider before signing up for breast argumentation.

No drizzle, crumbs and whathaveyous please

No one fancies being caught unprepared on a rainy day, but it certainly seems that downpours are very much preferred to drizzles for the raindrops never fail to first land on the ample busts and it can be rather awkward with those sporadic water blobs on a nude colored/light colored frock during office hours—sure looks like one has been frolicking in the restroom. The same goes for bar countertops; the boobs just seem to find their way snugly right on top of the table every time and no prizes for guessing where cookie crumbs always end up on.

Camel humps

I have never had any issue putting on sling bags for the strap would sit comfortably on the solar plexus between my boobs as I would lug my gym gear around town while waiting for the next pilates class. However, it can be slightly daunting for a D-cupper who is trying not to draw too much attention to herself for placing the strap on the same position creates the effect of two extremely visibly protruding moulds.

“My eyes are up here” phenomenon

Talk about the uneasiness of being introduced to someone whose first and subsequent glances are clearly on your breasts, realizing how much boys are constantly darting their eyes between your face and your boobs during conversations or how they are staring when they think that you are not looking at them. This sure makes for totally awkward interviews and conversations.

Clothes and “uniboobs”

It can be tough to find a perfect fit if your bosoms are significantly larger than your actual frame in the instance of a US size 6 body matched with double DDs. Tee shirts are a poor fit and end up looking like “uniboobs” with a tight stretch prominently marked across the chest. Button down tops have a tendency to flare with gaping holes in between and tank tops somehow never fail to make one look slutty. Going bra-less without the entire population watching them nipples on parade becomes an almost impossible feat too.

Jiggly Exercises

Working out can actually be torturous without the support of at least two layers of sports bras due to the pain of those bouncing boobs, especially during treadmill sessions. Mat exercises can be challenging too as I have witnessed well-endowed women in my yoga class experiencing difficulties with the plow position as they complain about back aches and some were literally huffing and puffing as they struggle with having the boobies out of the way while getting the poses right.

At the end of the day, I do envy those who are able to strut their ample bosoms in a camisole and as I approach my late twenties, it also became very evident that hopes of my breasts magically coming together to form the awesome ‘V’ was clearly not happening. On certain days as I flip through fashion magazines, thoughts of going under the knife to increase my bust size flutter across my mind but then again, I always end up holding back for natural is beautiful.

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Kathy W

A book editor by day and glutton by night. Kathy W's favourite activities include lounging with a cup of coffee, quietly observing the nincompoop ways of this planet and penning these down in her own words. These days, she can be seen juggling between sighing in exasperation at her mon cherie and stuffing herself with crème brûlée.

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