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Finding Confidence through Web Camming

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Finding Confidence through Web Camming

“No, there’s no way I could cam. I’m way too fat for that.”

They are words that we are all familiar with, even if this particular conversation has never reached your ears. The idea of bearing it all in front of not only one person, but hundreds is daunting. Especially if you suffer from self-hatred, a very common disease among women. It’s the reason we turn the light off before having sex, the reason we stop trying on clothing in the middle of a shopping day, the reason we obsess in front of the mirror.

When I started web camming, I struggled with the idea of having others judge me. Even after searching through hundreds of models and watching shows with different women of all shapes and sizes—I still worried. It was one of the biggest jumps of my life to press that ‘Broadcast’ button. I remember my heart beating wildly in my chest as I watched the usernames enter the room, reading their first assessments of my body and my nature.

It was terrifying.

But I grew a tough skin without knowing it. I prepared myself for the worst and that hardly happened. I found myself brushing off the trolls and pigs that made their way into my room. They were drowned out by the flattery, drowned out by the friendly users who shared themselves with me. Each show became easier and easier—I was able to let go and enjoy that pure sexuality that came with web camming and taking that emotional jump.

I was at a party a few months later and had been approached by some family members whom I had not seen in some time. Like many untactful people, one of them mentioned I looked like I had gained some weight. Those words at one point would have sat in the back of my mind as I unrealistically planned to work out three times a day for the rest of my life. Instead, I found myself smiling and thinking of the many people who would strongly disagree.

What had happened? What was the switch? It wasn’t until I found myself in a relationship that I found how confident I had become. I wanted to shamelessly talk about my experiences and my preferences, I was communicating fetishes with ease and accepting what he presented as if we were discussing the weather. I had become sexually confident in myself and what I loved, and I knew that web camming was to ‘blame’.

Many people assume that web camming, stripping, and the adult industry in general harbors lost girls with no direction or self respect. I find it to be quite the opposite. We are powerful, sexual women who know what we want. We are confident even on days where we feel less than desirable. We have pushed ourselves outside our comfort zone and survived.

I’m not telling you to put down the gauntlet and jump on a web cam. I’m not telling you that the camera takes away all those imperfections you believe you have. I’m saying that sometimes that initial jump into the unknown and push into unfamiliar territory might be what unleashes the confidence you were unaware you had. Life presents you with many opportunities to go outside your comfort zone and grab onto what you want, next time it comes knocking … try pressing the ‘Broadcast’ button.

Have sex with the lights on.

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Tawney Seren

I'm a 22 year old cam girl from Seattle, Washington. But beyond that, I'm an aspiring writer, roller derby vixen, web developing cyborg, 420 enthusiast, and a student for all things sexual and psychological. I view camming as a way to exert sexual confidence and power while reaching people all around the world with the love and attention they deserve. I strive to one day give 110% to writing and my studies in psychological mannerisms. But for now I'm happy with my hitachi, cheetos, cheap wine, and "occasional" sexy time with the ladies I perform with. By occasional I mean…constant. ;) Please feel free to contact me at: tawneywantstoplay@gmail.com Twitter: @tawneydarling Website: chaturbate.com/tawney/

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