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What Do Sex Workers Do? Really?

Sex Ed

What Do Sex Workers Do? Really?

There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding sex work. I’m going to put these at bay right now. Stay with me. Are you with me? Good.

Just this afternoon I had a confused text from my boyfriend. I had told him that I might have a client booked in for Friday, just so that he could arrange his diary around me and because he has a habit of asking how old the client is (I think it gives him a kick) I told him that he is 19. I didn’t disclose any further information to him. I’m a professional.

‘What is a 19 year old doing paying for it?’ asked my boyfriend, I’ll call him Ian, followed by: ‘I wouldn’t have paid for it when I was 19, unless I was obese, ugly or disabled’. Now I am taking a risk here putting this information ‘out there’ for two reasons: 1) Ian will kill me and 2) I am potentially reinforcing the myths around prostitution, ‘disability’ and just why people are perceived to ‘need to’ pay for it but it’s a risk I am prepared to take because a) I am so proud of my profession that I’m prepared to shout it from the rooftops to clear a few myths up and b) You deserve the truth so here goes nothing …

Firstly, there is no such thing as ugly. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder and sex workers have an uncanny knack of genuinely finding that spark in another human being that truly generates attraction and sexual desire. Secondly, who says people, whether they are able bodied, ‘Handicapable’ (I hate the word disabled so do humour me if this is how you identify), fat, thin or in-between ‘have to pay’ for anything? It’s their choice and personally, I find it incredibly empowering paying for any service. It’s all about attitude.

A friend in the gym said to me the other week:“I was going to book a sexual massage last night because I was feeling low but I thought the masseur would be thinking ‘he’s ugly, he’s desperate’ so I decided not to”.

“It doesn’t work like that mate. Trust me, we really don’t think in those terms” I said, with a sadness in the pit of my stomach because I knew that had he gone through with the appointment, he would have received the physical touch he needed, along with the affection, emotional warmth and yes, sexual release. We all need to be held and we all benefit from the release of sexual fluids along with the accompanying increased endorphins and ‘happy chemicals’ such as serotonin. Yes people ; there’s a lot of benefits in going to see a sex worker and most of us do know what we’re doing on that score.

There’s good and bad in every occupation, each industry and practitioner. This is a given. So choose carefully, go with your gut and make your needs clear. Even if you don’t know what you need, identify this not knowing as a need and let your worker lead you into a world of unexpected pleasure.

I love sex. You may have gathered this but here’s the thing: not all sex workers do. Most of us yes but not all. Again, like in any profession: choose your target, take aim and fire your enthusiasm at the bull’s eye best suited to your tastes. I specialise in affection, energetic connection and some aspects of kink with a psychosexual underpinning. I myself have burst into tears in the middle of a kink session and I expect my clients to sometimes do the same.

It’s all fine. Your sexual desires can open the doors to many hidden gems. It would be a shame to miss out, don’t you think?

I feel like I have concluded before I expected to (and no, that’s not a euphemism: I have great control 🙂 ) but I write intuitively so I am going to trust that you now know what we sex workers get up to and a little about why we get up to it. I love people, I love my job and I love to love. I have a BIG … heart (well what did you think I was going to say?)and thankfully my boyfriend is more than happy for me to share it. So what are you waiting for? Is there a sex worker near you who you have been tempted by? Is there a fantasy you are dying to explore? A door you want to open?

Jump on in … the water’s astonishing.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock
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Matt Chase

Matt Chase is a Sex Worker and Writer with professional training in Counselling and Psychotherapy. He is also an ex-nurse and so you can imagine how he makes the business of sex interesting. He believes that Sex Work is a Caring Profession. Matt, who is known as ‘Matt-at-Lotus’ to his clients, specialises in helping men to connect emotionally using touch, kink, breathing exercises and horny adventures. Matt believes passionately that you can make love on a one night stand and encourages men to explore this belief by putting it into practice. He works as a professional Escort, Sex Worker, Sexual Masseur and also writes on Sex and Relationships, Kink, Connecting Emotionally and Mental Health. He blogs at: and can be found at: He is based in Manchester UK and travels internationally.


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