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Sensual Massage – Nature’s natural medicine at our fingertips (Part III)

Lifestyle

Sensual Massage – Nature’s natural medicine at our fingertips (Part III)

Example of the application of Psychosensual Massage for men with sexual performance issues

Erectile Dysfunction

For many men, the image of self is inevitably linked to a perception of masculinity which in turn involves functioning and performing well sexually.  Things can go wrong at any point of the 3 stages of producing and maintaining an erection and can be as a result of either physiological or psychological influences, or often, a combination of both.

First Stage: Sexual arousal, getting sexually stimulated from our thoughts and senses.

Second Stage Erection: The brain communicates the sexual arousal to the body which increases the blood flow to the penis.

Third Stage Erection: Blood vessels that supply the penis relax allowing an increased blood supply to flow into the shafts that produce the erection.

Physiological causes can be due to a variety of conditions such as:

 Cardiovascular diseases, Diabetes, Disease of the Nervous System, Aging, Medications, Smoking, Alcoholism, Hormone Imbalance, and can be treated with medical support.  However in most cases, the condition can also be influenced by psychological processes and in many cases be the prime reason for intermittent erectile dysfunction.  Generally, if involuntary erection occurs during the night, or on waking in the morning but does not occur or is lost during conscious sex (with another or even during masturbation), then other emotional based influences will be the source.

How Can a Psychosensual Massage Help?
The environment of the massage room and the openness of the masseur immediately changes the modus operandi and creates a supportive caring situation where the focus on performance is removed and where the receiver can concentrate on what he is feeling rather than what he is doing.  As the massage unfolds, the body becomes further relaxed, with the sensual strokes of the massage encouraging arousal to take place.  With anxiety levels low and the body rested, attention on “self” erection will generally occur.  However, throughout the massage, the masseur will incorporate certain movements that may mildly raise anxiety thus effecting the erection.  By observing and reading these minute changes of the dynamic, the masseur can often interpret the psychological triggers that flick the arousal switch giving an indication as to what emotion is influencing the erection process.  At the same time, with the attention on himself, the receiver is also able to become aware of the moments when erection is effected either positively or negatively.  Discussion following the massage often reveals a core emotion/reaction that is at the root of the anxiety, enabling further counselling to target better the influencing dynamic and its source.

Premature Ejaculation

What is premature ejaculation?
Definitions of premature ejaculation have ranged from “coming within six thrusts” to “coming within two minutes” and even “coming before your partner”.  The last one can be particularly misleading if you have a partner who likes to take up to an hour to reach orgasm.
A simpler definition is that if you come before you want to and you feel you’re not able to control it, then you’re suffering from premature ejaculation (or PE for short).

Bear in mind that most men will come sooner than they’d like on some occasions, particularly if under stress or in situations of very high excitement.  Generally, if you are unable to control when you come more than 50 per cent of the time, then it becomes a problem.

Some men may only suffer from PE when they’re having sex.  Some feel they come too quickly whatever the stimulation with a partner.  Others feel they have little control even when they’re masturbating alone.  Men with PE aren’t able to recognise what therapists call the “point of inevitability”.  This is a sensation that occurs just a few moments before ejaculation.  Men who don’t suffer from PE are able to recognise this sensation and either stop or change stimulation until the urgency has subsided.  Very occasionally, premature ejaculation results from a physical condition such as a urinary tract or prostate infection.  Recent research suggests that some men may have a physiological predisposition in the nervous system to ejaculate quickly.  But for most men, ejaculation will often be quicker in times of stress or ill health.

How Can a Psychosensual Massage Help?


By providing a calm supportive environment the stress and excitement levels often contributing to PE are lessened considerably.  Additionally, by talking through the issues before the massage, anxiety of performance is reduced, so even prior to the arousal the receiver is more calm and relaxed, and thus able to be more aware of his own arousal process.  Generally men with PE aren’t able to recognise what therapists call the “point of inevitability”.  This is a sensation that occurs just a few moments before ejaculation.  Men who don’t suffer from PE are able to recognise this sensation and either stop or change stimulation until the urgency has subsided.

By incorporating with the massage various physical and psychological techniques, the receiver can recognise his own arousal ladder and the speed with at which he climbs to orgasm.  Once recognised, he can then apply these techniques when in an intimate situation with a partner.  Better communication between himself and the partner of his ascent to arousal will also reduce anxiety and also enable the partner to assist with these techniques.

Inability to Orgasm


A common sexual complaint among men is the inability to orgasm.  There’s a wide range of possible explanations.  Physiological causes generally fall into one of the following categories:

  • Hypothyroidism: The thyroid gland does not produce enough hormone.
  • Hypogonadism: Testicles do not produce enough testosterone.
  • Neurological problems: Strokes, multiple sclerosis, and diabetic neuropathy, can limit your ability to orgasm.
  • Physical injuries: Spinal cord injuries and other major wounds can have an effect.
  • Prostate problems: These include infections or surgery affecting the prostate or other pelvic organs.

How Can a Psychosensual Massage Help

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Psychological reasons may also be part or in some cases the main reason: These may include depression, anxiety, or a panic disorder of some kind and massage can be used an effective way to lessen these.  By putting the sufferer in a rested state and reducing the anxiety around the need to perform allows arousal to build without fearful interference.  The caring intimate nature of the massage builds trust and with this trust the “triggers” that are required to release the orgasm can function better.  However it may take several sessions for total relaxation to take place so a series of appointments over a few weeks can be more effective.

If you have any questions for Colin related to this subject or on any other sexual performance related issues, Colin will be delighted to answer them.  He can be contacted at colin@intimacymatters.co.uk

Colin Richards

Colin Richards is a sex and relationship mentor based in London, UK. He is a certified Psychosexual Therapist and is also qualified both as an Imago Relationship Educator and a 2nd level Co-Active Life Coach. Colin is also a 15 years experienced Masseur , and has trained in Hypnotherapy, CBT and NLP.

Colin is now recognised as one of the Uk’s leading therapists in his field and has made it his calling to teach people how to achieve better sexual communication within relationships. By combining his many skills Colin has built a fine reputation for his friendly and yet pragmatic no nonsense approach to sex and sexuality. Colin has pioneered a combination treatment he calls Psychosensual Therapy that integrates both his mentoring skills with sensual massage which is particularly finds beneficial with issues in aspects of sexual performance, sexuality and lack or fear of intimacy.

Colin works from his own treatment rooms in Marylebone Central London but for international clients he can provide support and knowledge via Skype. Colin also speaks about and leads workshops on sex and sexuality.

He is the creator of the Sexonality Test a revolutionary new system that helps people understand their sexuality better by offering an alternative to the traditional three-box approach to human sexuality. He is also the creator of The Game of 33, a psychoanalytical after-dinner game. Colin scores 35 on the Sexonality Test making him Heterobisensual.

Get in touch with Colin via email at colin@intimacymatters.co.uk

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