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Sensual Massage – Nature’s natural medicine at our fingertips (Part II)

Lifestyle

Sensual Massage – Nature’s natural medicine at our fingertips (Part II)

Skin – the biggest sensory & sexual organ in the body

How is it possible that touch can be one of most effective means to influence the structures and functions of body and mind?  The answer lies in the skin.  The skin is the largest sensory organ of the body, arising in a human embryo from the same ectodermic cell layers as the nervous system.  In the evolution of the senses, touch is earliest to develop.

Skin statistics – 19 sq ft of pleasure

In an adult male, there are 19 square feet of skin which contains 5 million sensory cells and represents 12 % of total body weight.  Skin is softer in the summer – the pores are wider and there is greater lubrication.  In winter it’s more compact and firm, the pores are closer together and hair sheds less.  A piece of skin the size of a 5p has: more than 3 million cells, 100-340 sweat glands, 50 nerve endings and three feet of blood vessels.  
Skin contains hundreds of thousands of sensory receptors, which are triggered by skin stimuli.  Skin, so closely tied to the nervous system, sends messages to our brain via the spinal cord – heart rate and blood pressure react.  Appropriate touches can prompt the brain to produce endorphins, the body’s natural pain suppressors, which are considered more powerful than morphine.  This is why massage can help ease pain.

The Benefits of having a Sensual or Psychosensual Massage

Make time

For many of us life, is “all about the other” and not ourselves.  We have been persuaded that to care for ourselves is self indulgent even selfish, that to ensure our position within society, we must look after everyone else’s needs first and only when we believe that they are satisfied can we care for ourselves – but does this ever happen?  If we are all caring for the other, then can we ever be satisfied ourselves?  Instead of living our lives 95% for others, we should aim for at least 60/40 and taking a regular massage is well invested time, closing the door on the rest of the world and focussing on the SELF.

Safe relaxing non judgemental environment



The quiet relaxed environment of the massage room and a warm friendly manner of the masseur gives a feeling of safety that will reduce sub-conscious psychological warning systems, (often linked to childhood conditioning) and as we  begin to relax, the levels of anxiety decrease, encouraging our bodies to relax.

Openness and understanding

Giving a clear description of the massage process and explaining its level of sensuality will continue to reduce the anxiety.  Understanding our motivation for wanting the massage, being able to be honest and open with the masseur about our fantasies, fears and needs without feeling judged, all goes to helping us feel able to let go and receive.

A journey from tension and stress through arousal and orgasm to ultimate relaxation

Both a sensual massage or a  psychosensual massage should be given slowly and seductively, with the masseur taking the client on a 4 part journey from the state of tension they often arrive in through relaxation and arousal to the orgasmic high and eventual fulfilment.  Each phase of the massage has its particular focus and motivation.  The main difference with the latter from the former is that the Psychosensual Massage is given with a focus  on working with and during the massage, observing  any sexual performance or sexual intimacy issues, and given by a therapist who has had additional training in psychosexual work.  The sensual massage is generally taken by men or women, or couples who are simply looking to relax and rejuvenate and possibly explore sensual intimate touch in a total and complete way, given by a masseur who has been trained in both therapeutic massage and sensual massage techniques.

The Sensual Massage Phases

  • Stage 1: Sensual Therapeutic phase
  • Stage 2: Gentle Arousal phase
  • Stage 3: Sensual Arousal phase
  • Stage 4: Erotic and Orgasmic phase

Sensual Therapeutic Phase



The Sensual Therapeutic phase lasts about 20 minutes and is focused on the shoulders and back of the upper body.  The aim is to encourage the client into a further relaxed state.  With the use of light touch, feathers and soft caring touches combined with more traditional deep tissue muscle work, causing the client to further to “let go”.  The combination of soft strokes with stronger deeper massage generates a confidence within the client and a genuine feeling of being cared for.  This is followed by gentle teasing of the more intimate areas of the body making  the skins sensory preceptors to send signals to the brain, the brain responds by stimulating the body’s para-sympathetic nervous system (relax and rest mode) and the massage progresses into the Gentle Arousal Phase.

Gentle Arousal phase



By now the client is usually well on the sensual journey, still aware of what is taking place but beginning to “drift away”, losing themselves to the sensations of the massage.  Further exploration into the intimate crevices of the body namely the neck, armpits, groin and pelvic areas are all stimulated.  Arousal begins to increase usually causing erection (men) and lubrication (women), accompanied by deeper breathing and some involuntary movements of the body.  The skin becomes more sensitive as body contact between the masseur and client increases.  And the brain begins to drifts in and out of awareness.

The Sensual Arousal phase

During this phase direct contact with the genitals takes place, in the male the penis (now erect) and scrotum.  In women, the outer lips of the vagina and areas around the groin and anus are lightly touched and massaged.  Careful notice is taken not to take the client to orgasm but to hold them at a high level of arousal then falling back to relaxation and back again to high arousal, this is done several times.  During this phase in the massage the client is encouraged to be self focussed enjoying the stimulation and to not worry about their “performance” or the “other”, however for some, physical contact with the masseur preferred and since when an “intimate connection” is made, arousal can increase considerably.

Orgasm to Relaxation



The male sexual response cycle consists of excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.  The first 3 phases of this massage cover the first two elements of this cycle.  During this phase of the massage, the body and mind becomes paradoxically, both deeply relaxed and highly aroused, this contradictory state causes the bodies’ nervous system to oscillate between its sympathetic and para-sympathetic modes as the mind focuses on the sensations of the final ascent to orgasm.  At the pinnacle of orgasm, control is given over to the primal response of orgasm and in men (ejaculation) the muscles tense, the breathing increases, often the client becomes more verbal emitting pleasurable moans.  Orgasms are usually a combination of peripheral (genital or extra-genital) stimulation and a mental “letting go.”  Neurologically speaking, it is accepted that the pathways
 for ejaculation and orgasm are under a tonic inhibitory influence, and that the release of this inhibition is cerebrally influenced.  Without this release, the normal
 orgasmic and ejaculatory reflexes cannot be expressed. With the final orgasmic rush comes a massive release of energy, triggering the immediate after effect of relaxation when the male body, immediately following ejaculation, falls back into the deep state of resolution.  The body relaxes, and encouraged by stroking of the head and scalp, the body quickly falls in to “rest, relax and re-cooperate mode”.  With the drifting into a deep state of subconsciousness, and even light sleep.

To be continued…

If you have any questions for Colin related to this subject or on any other sexual performance related issues, Colin will be delighted to answer them.  He can be contacted at colin@intimacymatters.co.uk

Colin Richards

Colin Richards is a sex and relationship mentor based in London, UK. He is a certified Psychosexual Therapist and is also qualified both as an Imago Relationship Educator and a 2nd level Co-Active Life Coach. Colin is also a 15 years experienced Masseur , and has trained in Hypnotherapy, CBT and NLP.

Colin is now recognised as one of the Uk’s leading therapists in his field and has made it his calling to teach people how to achieve better sexual communication within relationships. By combining his many skills Colin has built a fine reputation for his friendly and yet pragmatic no nonsense approach to sex and sexuality. Colin has pioneered a combination treatment he calls Psychosensual Therapy that integrates both his mentoring skills with sensual massage which is particularly finds beneficial with issues in aspects of sexual performance, sexuality and lack or fear of intimacy.

Colin works from his own treatment rooms in Marylebone Central London but for international clients he can provide support and knowledge via Skype. Colin also speaks about and leads workshops on sex and sexuality.

He is the creator of the Sexonality Test a revolutionary new system that helps people understand their sexuality better by offering an alternative to the traditional three-box approach to human sexuality. He is also the creator of The Game of 33, a psychoanalytical after-dinner game. Colin scores 35 on the Sexonality Test making him Heterobisensual.

Get in touch with Colin via email at colin@intimacymatters.co.uk

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