How many times have you heard a girlfriend tell you she is not happy with how her boyfriend or husband is in bed? Maybe you have a man in your life that doesn’t live up to your expectations when it comes to your sex life. Why is this? Are men in general lousy lovers or don’t they take the time to find out what you like and how to please you?
I think it’s the latter, they just don’t know and are too afraid to ask, worrying that you might laugh at them for not knowing. There are those that think they are super lovers but are they?
What do you do when you snuggle on the sofa at night watching a good movie and your man sticks his tongue so far in your ear that it feels like he is licking your brain? If you tell him straight that you don’t like it and make him stop, you risk hurting his ego. What do you do?
First of all I believe that we women must know our own body inside and out. We have to be comfortable with our erogenous areas and know what we like and what we don’t like. If we know, then we can guide our man to do what we will enjoy and not what he thinks we like. Remember, men take a lot of advice from friends and even pornographic movies, and those are not the best teachers.
Let’s go back to the previous example with the tongue in your ear. When this happens you can simply begin to kiss him and when you come to his earlobe you nibble it and kiss it lightly while whispering ‘like this honey.’
You have shown him what you like and how to do it, without putting his sexual knowledge or lack of it on display. If you would have pulled back saying ‘ew, stop that.’ You might have hurt his feelings.
How do you get to know your body? This might be a sensitive topic for some women depending on from where you are. There is no easy way around it, you have to touch yourself, and find your special spots. Once you know them, it becomes easy to guide your man to them.
If you have just met someone you can do this together, lot’s of men love to watch their girlfriend or wife touch themselves. Make a romantic evening out of it, light some candles, dim the lights, turn on some soft music, and give him a show. Afterwards you can make him touch you to see if he remembers what you like.
By knowing yourself you are directly controlling the quality of your sex life, you know what you like and what you don’t like. Now you can in a fun and erotic way pass on this knowledge to the man who shares your bed.